If he really loves his family, can he really be the sociopath that Dr Melfi believes him to be?
shareIn the book Dr Melfi reads, she learns certain types of sociopaths are prone to display affection for small babies and animals. You notice when he saves AJ from the suicide attempt Tony rocks him back and forth and repeats “it’s all right baby.” He can only display love through visualizing people as these concepts. He doesn’t see then as “real people” otherwise, or can’t understand it. On a normal human level, Tony isn’t functioning properly.
shareDo you really believe that Tony doesn’t genuinely love Meadow and AJ? It seems pretty clear that he does, and he’s not just a stone cold sociopath who’s faking being a family man. I have my doubts about Melfi’s diagnosis.
It depends on the definition of genuine love. I’d suppose Tony does superficially love his family, but only because it benefits him and gives him the appearance of being a normal citizen. Tony has greater loyalty to the “famiglia.” In fact, Tony projected most of the love and empathy he had for his family onto those ducks that nested in his pool. Once they left was when his anxiety and depression really took hold.
Chris and Tony also “loved” Adriana but it didn’t take them long to decide they had to dispose of her. So it’s clear that if Tony’s wife or children ever went against him in any way (ie talked to the FBI), he would have no choice but to eliminate them as well.
I think the point of the show was how Tony became a sociopath. By the end he was able to murder his cousin, his nephew, as well as contemplating killing two of his best friends (Hesh and Paulie).
I would say Melfi’s diagnosis was correct (at least by the end of the series, where Tony has become totally corrupt with power), but she was also a terrible psychiatrist. She frequently enabled Tony’s criminal tendencies and ignored all the obvious warning signs.
I can certainly see moral decay in Tony as the series progresses, but he doesn’t seem like a born sociopath - all throughout and even at the end he appears to genuinely love his own kids.
shareI’d hate to invoke Godwin’s Law already, but I’m sure even Adolph Hitler loved his kids.
Once you’ve chopped up numerous bodies and disposed of the parts in your sausage grinder, is it even possible to know what genuine love is?
Tony’s mother was an example of a sociopath, she clearly had no love for Tony and even hated him to the point of wanting him killed. This is totally different to Tony’s relationship with his children, which is that of a loving protector.
shareLivia was merely a mirror of what Tony was becoming. Livia wasn’t always a monster. In fact she was a sympathetic figure (as shown in the episode “In Camelot”).
shareDo you think that Tony would have ended up actively trying to get AJ and Meadow killed for his own sadistic pleasure?
shareTony already murdered his own nephew for self-serving reasons. By the end of the series Tony was as bad as Livia.
shareIn order to be ‘as bad’ he would have to be actively trying to get Meadow and/or AJ killed. In fact he recently saved AJ’s life and appeared to love his kids wholeheartedly.
shareTony was as bad, in fact worse, he murdered his own nephew with his bare hands. Tony May have appeared to have “saved his child’s life,” but he still had no real problem letting them be drawn into the mafia world, which will ultimately be as bad a fate.
shareNo, there’s no equivalence between actively trying to have your own child murdered and Tony killing his dangerous, untrustworthy, hothead psycho nephew. Also, Tony doesn’t want his kids to get sucked into mob life and tries to convince them he’s in ‘waste management’ - in no way is that akin to Livia’s attempted murder of Tony.
shareIn what way is it not equivalent? Tony was also a dangerous, untrustworthy, hothead psycho. Tony was doing exactly what his mother did.
Also sure, Tony doesn’t want his children being sucked into the mob life even though he’s happy to have AJ hang around the kids of other mobster and have Meadow marry Patsy Parisi. By the end of the show he even gets AJ a job in a mob affiliated company.
Trust me, Tony was a sociopath and as bad as Livia in the every way.
No, there’s no equivalence between Tony killing his dangerous, hothead, psycho nephew in the spur of the moment after he’s randomly crippled in a car accident, and Livia actively plotting to murder her son - who is taking care of her as best he can.
There is no indication whatsoever that Tony is plotting to kill AJ and/or Meadow for his own sadistic pleasure, as his mother did with him. In fact Tony seems like a genuinely loving father.
You’re not explaining this very well. How exactly is killing your dangerous, hothead, psycho nephew any different from killing your dangerous, hothead, psycho son? They’re both equally as bad. Also, Chris had devoted his entire allegiance to Tony, and even gave up his own fiancé’s life out of loyalty for him. Chris loved Tony as much as Tony loved his mother. Tony killing Chris and then laughing about it just shows what an unfeeling sociopath he was. He was also actively plotting to murder his Uncle Paulie merely for talking too much, and was prepared to kill his best friend Hesh over 100k.
Also, if you think Tony wouldn’t murder his own kids if they tried to usurp his power, then I have a bridge to sell you.
How exactly is killing your dangerous, hothead, psycho nephew any different from killing your dangerous, hothead, psycho son? They’re both equally as bad.
"but I’m sure even Adolph Hitler loved his kids."
Hitler had no kids.
Wow, that was excellent and 100 % my view.
shareYea she was full of sht. She just wanted to deflect her insecurity from her that he was after her. Also the writers really screwed the show by the end. Had it started that way I dont think I would’ve watched.
shareI think he definitely loves Uncle Junior, on a recent rewatch it struck me how their relationship, as fiery as it is at times, is actually one of the most moving aspects of the show.
Junior is seen playing catch with Tony as a kid, something we never see Tony’s dad doing with him and throughout the series Tony seems to see Junior as a surrogate father and as Junior never had children, he looks upon Tony as the son he never had.
Some of the best scenes in the series are between Junior and Tony, even after he’s shot by him he still doesn’t convince with the whole “he’s dead to me” act and their final scene together is heartbreaking.
Junior, a man so destabilised by a terrible illness, can’t remember much of anything about his life, he can’t remember his brother, his past life as a gangster etc. But the one thing he does remember, is playing catch with Tony.
Tony loved Tony.
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