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Post a joke from your favourite standup comedian.


Doesn't have to be his best joke. Living or dead, or if he is Jack Benny, if you like the joke enough, share it.

Here's mine. A joke by Norm MacDonald.


“A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on.”

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I loved Norm, he was a genuine comedy legend. Totally hilarious and ridiculous with a perfectly imperfect delivery. He wasn’t overly rehearsed or mannered, he came off as just a guy telling you a story or a joke.
He seemed like the sort of funny fellow you’d meet at a pub.

Watch his ‘Dirty Johnny’ joke on YouTube. There are several versions and he kills!

He had a reputation for pushing the limits, he supposedly lost his gig at Saturday Night Live for constantly dunking on OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson even though it made the network bosses uncomfortable.
Norm was all ‘screw it, I’m going there anyway’ LOL!

He belongs on the Mount Rushmore of comedians past and present.

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I didn’t know about Michael Jackson, but I remember him saying that one of the NBC execs was a friend of OJ.

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Oh yeah, he beat up on OJ who was a golf buddy of some of the network bosses but he kicked MJ in the head frequently as well.

He’d openly referred to MJ as a ‘gay pedophile’ very frequently.

Norm was all gas pedal and no brakes, the man did not care.
What a character, what a fella’.

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Although he's not a real stand up comedian, Marcel Marceau is known to work humor into his act. One of his best was:

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A real knee slapper.

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Larry the Cable Guy:

"I went over to this girl's house that I was seeing and she was all spread out on the couch wearing some of those crotchless panties and she said, "Hey you want some of this?"
I said, "Hell no! look what it did to your underbritches! That'd take the stripes off a skunk!""

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Jeff Foxworthy telling any redneck joke:

"If you (insert this very true stereotype of rednecks), you might wanta pay attention."

Bill Engvall is a close second, but he is more into story-telling instead of distinct jokes.

Larry the Cable Guy had a good one:

"I believe......guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do!"

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Gilbert Gottfried - An old Jew finds a lamp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYq1eiMW-jU&t=75s

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(Note: This joke dates back to the McCarthy era)


"Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, WE throw an American in jail to show the Russians they couldn't get away with it" - Mort Sahl

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An American diplomat boasts to a Soviet diplomat, "We have free speech in America. I can go in front of The White House and criticize the President." "So?," Replies the Russian. "I can go in front of the Kremlin and criticize the President as well."

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John Mulaney goofing on SVU Detective Ice T :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJSZOfaaCjk

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Funny stuff😁

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“I saw a commercial on late-night TV that said ‘Forget everything you know about slipcovers.’ So I did. It was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers and I didn’t know what the hell they were.” -Mitch Hedberg

Another one I love...


“Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out flyers. When someone tries to hand me a flyer it’s kinda like they’re saying, ‘Here, you throw this away.” -Mitch Hedberg, too

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Oh he was so good!

‘I find that a duck’s opinion of me is based on wether or not I have bread.’

‘I hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak guy.’

‘I like Kit-Kats unless I’m with four or more people.’

A very funny guy, great delivery, always seemed amused by his own observations. Poor dude died way too young.

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His Pringles routine is one of my favorite comedy bits as well.

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I like less than a dozen of comedians (despite being one of my few loves with music/movies) but he is one of them. An original. And funny.

That latter joke is one of my favorites. In the beginning, he used his "normal" voice, and changing it did help the joke. Maybe I should check YouTube for some unreleased new uploads - I need a laugh after this year.

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