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Post a joke from your favourite standup comedian.


Doesn't have to be his best joke. Living or dead, or if he is Jack Benny, if you like the joke enough, share it.

Here's mine. A joke by Norm MacDonald.


“A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on.”

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Rodney Dangerfield:
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said, "okay, you're ugly too."

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The one I remember (mostly) is Steven Wright saying he was dating this girl, her dad was rich, he was the guy who designed the diagram showing you how to put batteries in things. I think of that every time I put batteries in something.

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"You know, the more I read about this Hitler fellow, the less I like him."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFvZzEmW74I

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Was Hitler behind the couch?

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George Miller
You see that ad for Raid? "Kills Bugs Dead?" Well I should hope so. I hate to see a roach in a coma.

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I remember Jay Leno telling this one when he guest-hosted "The Tonight Show" in place of Johnny Carson:

"So I was driving in L.A. and was stopped at a red light. The car in front of me had a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker on it, so I decided to be nice and I honked.

Guy in the car sticks his head out the window and yells back, 'HEY, THE LIGHT'S STILL RED, YA MORON!!!!!'" 😃

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