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How Being Treated as a Child Translates to Adult Life


So something really hit me when I went through a recent hardship and many of you can guess what it is. But I must say, I have learned quite a bit.

When you are little and your parents tell you to work hard in school, it is really not all for nothing. One of my recent coworkers of my new job had told me she is very strict with her kids and it should make her kids better off, later in life and I believe it now!

Say, when your parents ground you for getting a bad grade, is it mean or the right thing to do?

When you are older, looking for a good job; if you fail to get one, you cannot afford cable. Heck, you cannot afford anything. Therefore, if you do bad in school, you are grounded. It is your job to go to school.

If you cannot afford living a good life, depending on where you live; it all depends on the job you hold. If you have a bad job, you are so focused on paying debts that you cannot possibly have a good life. Therefore, if your grades are not good enough for a good career, you will never live well enough to survive day to day.

So it makes me wonder. The average middle class American, who lives in a nice neighborhood, say a $200,000 house; they must be like in the top 25% of their class and in terms of jobs, be able to make at least $50,000/yr. There are not many jobs that pay that much (at least not handed out to people). If you cannot make that much, you are basically screwed in life.

Am I correct in my assumption? So basically, if I never make that much, I could be in hot soup. I do not know why it had taken me so long to realize that; however, for me, I did both freelance work and "mainstream" work, out of college. By mainstream, I mean consistent part time as well as full time work.

Just my take on life.

Jobs define who you are and your savings determine your survival. You could always live homeless or on welfare; however, that is not really surviving is it?

What could one compare this to in caveman days? If you go a day without catching an animal, you go hungry. Similar to my situation. I am paying off so much debt that I can barely eat. In fact, my budget of 50-30-20 is more like 80% debt, 20% savings. There is no time for leisure.

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That is a lot of words and you completely lost me at $200,000 house because you cannot even buy a studio apt for that here.
BUT I think you are saying, that the only way to make a living today is with higher education?
It's *mostly* true but not completely. There are skilled trades that still pay well and will always be needed, they can't be outsourced to another country because they are services needed locally, where people live. Things like electricians, HVAC, various other skilled building trades that are always in demand and you can make a decent living at. You do still need to go to a trade school but it's not like you need a masters degree.
So I would agree that the majority of people with good paying jobs needed to do well in school to get there, but not always. So for a generalization, doing well in school is important in later life but it's not true for every individual.
You are definitely correct that the gap between rich and poor is increasing and the middle class dream is much harder to achieve now. That is very likely to continue in the near future, since 45 is appointing billionaire donors to his cabinet and all his tax reform benefits the richest people and corporations (surprise... NOT). He's not going to do much for poor people.

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$200,000 is middle class in KY. In states like California, it is more like $750,000.

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$200,000 or $750,000 is a lot to me. I'm fortunate to live in a place where the cost of living is low compared to what I've read about other areas.

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$200k is about what it would cost you to live in a modest neighborhood in KY. I am located in Lexington, KY; which is one of two biggest cities in KY. The neighborhood has an HOA and it is mostly free from burglaries, although, they have happened.

I would want to live in a modest single story house in life, but $200k, I agree, is a lot. The mortgage is around $1200/mnth and the property tax is like $2555.

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Not well at all.



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And if you cannot do what you want, it puts yourself in adult timeout.

Well, technically, jail or prison is adult timeout.

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Great point, arvin!


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Can you believe that MovieMan?

I never knew that that's what my parents were aiming at or that what other parents did, actually signified something. It actually translates to real life.

With being a kid, you at least get a roof over your head, in timeout or no supper for the night, if you did bad in something. In the real world, you may not have a roof AND you may starve. O_O

HOLY CHIT!

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Or worse.

Isn't it amazing in retrospect how intelligent your parents are?


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That smiley face with the sunglasses is not helping to set the right emotion.

It's not so much about the intelligence; however, one finds out only after suffering the consequences. There are many things that people take for granted.

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The smiley face with the sunglasses is not meant to set any emotion. It's my avatar. It also helps me locate my previous posts when looking through a thread.

And you are correct. You learn from your experiences, especially from your mistakes.


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Oh, so you can set emojis with every message? I thought you had to actually do it for every post!

The avatar, I thought, only applied to your profile.

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Yes you can. It's actually pretty easy. I keep an emoji site open and right click on the one I want and copy it. Then I hit ctrl v to copy it into my message. Easy, peasy, Japanesy.

It's actually my unofficial avatar. I haven't set up one in my profile yet.


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Education IS important, but NOT at the expense of the student's future! Students are taking on a lifetime of education debt to be trained for jobs only to find those jobs went bye-bye like twenty years ago. There are a lot of overeducated and underemployed people out there, and a few crooks and morons making more than they deserve. Someone has to figure out how to pay qualified people a decent wage for things which need to be done or we will ALL be in very hot soup, that is, more than those who already are.

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That is so true; however, no one is scrutinized enough to figure the bad apples from the good. In fact, it seems like the crooks and morons, the evil, is trumping over the good. Life is crazy.

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Indeed it is.

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Bingo, Skip! I was listening to the Dave Ramsey Show last night, and he was speaking with two young grads who had accumulated $670,000 in student loan debts. $670,000! Of course, they were med students, so that means at least eight years of college.

But how do you recover from that kind of monumental debt?


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You did not hear it from me, but many don't.

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That is true. Sad but true. I have a friend who was whose debt was $2,700 in 2015. When it hit $7,700 in 2016,
I suggested that she might want to consider declaring bankruptcy, but she declined. Her debt is now $14,500.

Ironically I heard Dave Ramsey say tonight that he would not recommend bankruptcy because it was walking away from your debts, and was therefore not an amoral thing. He did it himself once, and says that if leaves a mental scar
on you.


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Einstein said "The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”

If you believe the world is evil, you're screwed. He went on to explain what he meant:

“For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.

If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe’, then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.

But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.”

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The problem that we are seeing is how the unfriendly people are using that mantra to make the world even more unfriendly and I definitely imagined it as being a friendly place. Now that I have seen how unfriendly it can be, I am still not ruling out that it can be friendly, just that you have to be cautious at times.

Oppenhiemer (sp?) had created the atomic bomb that was dropped on Pearl Harbor, yet I highly doubt he thought the world was an unfriendly place. He did make a statement afterwards that he felt bad for having created such a bad invention. But it is possible that when he was creating it, he did, for that moment, think the world was an unfriendly place.

Now days, it is more or less that the people who are friendly and want to make safe spaces, do do that. Not everyone can be friendly and that is why, you have to build walls to keep the friendly in and the not so friendly out. Everyday, it seems like there is a fight between friendly and unfriendly.

I guess you would say that that makes our world neutral or drop of a dice?

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Such is the way of the world. It's a large, complex place, and overall it does not care for the individual. The individual has to take care of him/herself.


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Exactly. Even through the revolution and development of a country, it still breaks down to old school survival tactics. Do not let homes and the government fool you, we are still a tribe of humans looking for our next kill.

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So do you work for Animal Planet, arvin?


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Actually, I may, you never know. With the amount of work that comes into Louisville, for production assistant openings, I may actually get to work with them. The two channels I have worked for, so far, are Discovery Channel and MTV.

Not to mention, I graduated with a Biology major and so it allows my mind to think in those terms.

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Oh cool, I hit the target! That's fascinating. I don't watch MTV, but I love Discovery Channel.

BTW, I'm originally from Louisville.


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IKR? I have a curse that allows me to be without cable, but I am actually "somewhat" working with networks in real life.

Trust me though. It is better to watch the project after the editing than behind the camera.

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I'll take your word on that.


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What mantra? Surely you can't mean unfriendly people are using what Einstein said to make the world unfriendly. People who believe the world is unfriendly, and behave accordingly, don't even want to think about or acknowledge what he said.

I assume you mean Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Pearl Harbor never had a nuclear bomb dropped on it. The Japanese didn't have that technology, and even the U.S. didn't in 1941.

Oppenheimer did think the world was an unfriendly place, else he wouldn't have been able to justify heading creating nuclear weapons. However, he was primarily driven as a scientist, and only later came to realize the horrors of the consequences of his participation, and then regretted it.

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Idk..something tells me there there is a warp about friendly/unfriendly. People use it to their advantage; however, would you say the world today is friendly?

I guess it could be thought of in terms of what you would define as friendly. If you are not financially well off and you struggle, do you assume that the world is a friendly place? On the other hand, if you are rich or have someone that provides for you (parent/spouse/etc.), do you take it for granted, all those other people struggling?

In my life so far, I have had some highs and lows. Definitely, when I had hit a low, I did take a lot for granted. Nature in itself is neutral, I can see that everyday. But what you see is a ton of negativity that must be triumphed with being positive. That is the only way to really overcome it.

The only true way to acknowledge it, at least in my view, is to acknowledge it. I do not have too much of a safety net; however, if I did, I would bet that the world could not be any more friendlier.

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"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds”. To quote Oppenheimer. Those words haunt me.
BTW, Cat, you again caught something which I utterly skimmed over...arvin's statement about the atomic bomb being dropped on Pearl Harbor! I have to be more thorough in my reading and cease with the cursory habit! You are our official proof editor!

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Speaking of which Cat, are you watching "Genius" on Nat Geo?


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I don't have cable TV anymore, MovieMan, so didn't know about it. Sounds very interesting though. Will have to wait until it's on Netflix.

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It's no big deal. The series so far is just okay imho. It's rated 8.4 on IMDB, but Matt Roush gave it only *** out of ***** in TV Guide.

Now if you want to see some really great shows, try watching Legion, Fargo, and Better Call Saul.


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Can you still afford cable? Man, I remember a year ago and even the last few years, I could. When Spectrum is becoming the new provider, I am barely able to afford the internet. Check it $64.99/month. Insanity.

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Fortunately I can, and Spectrum is now my provider.


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That is what I was wondering. What bundle do you currently have and how much is it?

I estimated, when a rep had called me, that cable with internet would run about $150? Is it cheaper?

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I just upgraded to the "Triple Silver" package. (Who comes up with these monikers anyway?) It costs $156/month. However, I have internet, two cable boxes (one is a DVR, which I dearly love), and a bazillion channels (of course) including Showtime, Cinemax and HBO. I got the upgrade because I want to watch the new Twin Peaks, which premiers May 21 on Showtime.

I'm a hopeless movie and TV junkie.

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It definitely is. When I was not in debt, I at least had t.v. to get through the dull moments. Now, I am sitting in silence. The only thing I can listen to is the FM radio on my overpriced Android Moto G. Of course, I can also watch bootleg movies on my computer, but it is not the same.

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I have heard about that or even just an antenna.

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Is that for when you have the sniffles?


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Damn!


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Wow. You mean I'm actually getting a good deal on something? Yowsa!

Yes that is the great advantage of living in the country. Somebody once described it as "being on vacation all the time".

I'm a city boy, but I do like to travel to the country.


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They delivered booze to our houses in the good old days??


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Damn. I don't remember that. We went to the local grocery store. I don't even think they sold booze.


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Holy chit!

Well, I remember Insight had packages and then Time Warner had tiers. Spectrum wants to be thought of as like the premier and more established company with outstanding services. It is not really true. They have been known to actually crap out lower tiers to get more people to buy higher tiers. Like for instance, my internet is pretty much intermittent and a rep told me it would go away, if I upgraded. When Time Warner was here, just a few months ago, nothing was wrong with my internet. In fact, a land line connection internet should very rarely have intermittent signals. I know when I had wifi, it would go on and off. I think Spectrum is screwing with the land line.

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Who knows? They might be.


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And Spectrum is so hard to work for. Their background checks take up to 3 weeks. They even check the candidate's credit. It's like they treat you like a criminal of something.

And they only pay tech support minimum wage yet their services are expensive.

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And now we are starting to see the Walmart of the cable world!

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Sounds like we may have very different tastes. I haven't seen any of the above. May give Fargo a shot, but I know Better Call Saul is a spinoff of a show I barely limped through the pilot of. And yes, I know I'm in the minority, but I'm used to it :)

For me Mad Men still reigns supreme as the greatest show I've ever seen.

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Possibly, but that's they make chocolate and vanilla (and sometimes strawberry).

The movie Fargo was amazing, as were the first two seasons of the TV show. And the current third season is shaping up to be one heck of a roller coaster ride. Of course you have to have a particular sense of humor for this show, as I do. It's not for everyone.

Better Call Saul is a prequel to Breaking Bad. BB reportedly was a great show, but I never watched it. No clue why I did not. It's a great show also.

Legion is also fantastic. It's Marvel, but totally unlike the typical cape and superhero Marvel show. There was an epic scene in episode seven (The Bolero Scene) which is the most amazing thing I've ever seen on TV. You can watch the scene on You Tube. It runs 4:23. I've lost count of how many times I've watched it. I can hardly wait for season two.

I did not watch Mad Men, but I hear that it was excellent.

Do you have any other favorite recent shows?


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Haven't seen Fargo (The Movie) either, but suspect I might like the series better. Just a hunch. I have an offbeat sense of humor, so the show may appeal to me.

Yep, Breaking Bad. Barely made it through the pilot episode, and that was enough for me. I find it interesting that you started in on BCS, never having seen BB, and that you like it. I should give the first episode a try and see what I think.

I'll also locate E7 of Legion, and see if I can find the Bolero scene.

Very few recent shows. My 2nd favorite show is Halt and Catch Fire, which has been described as "the spiritual child of Mad Men," and I agree that's what it is. The character development -- writing and acting -- are what's sucked me in. Plus I've found the plot lines to be very compelling. Can't wait for next season! Too bad it'll be the final season.

Other recent shows I've seen and liked to a point:

- Ray Donovan (binge watched the first few seasons, but now have lost interest)
- Bloodline (some decent acting in this, but was disappointed in the last season)
- Homeland (really did love the first 3 seasons, due to Damian Lewis' character and performance, and hung until last season, but now have lost interest)

Oh, I'd rank Bates Hotel above these three, for some great acting and writing (the black, ironic humor is so well placed, for instance), but the newest and final season is playing now, and I haven't yet watched it. I can wait until it's on Netflix, whereas when HACF runs its last season, I will *have* to figure out some way to get AMC again.

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Ha ha, I just might be that twisted :D

No, I've never heard of Sling TV. What is it?

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Huh, sounds worth looking into. I've pretty much given up on watching most cable, but would like to have AMC back again, if for no other reason than I can watch Halt and Catch Fire's last season.

I'll look into it. Thanks!

Never heard of a Kodi box either. For now I'm in a temporary place for the next month or so and am fine with streaming Netflix, but after that will be somewhere more permanent.

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<< Kodi box is a Roku on steroids. You have access to anything and everything. >>

I don't understand how the kodi box bypasses paying for copywriten or licensed entertainment. (I'm not very technically savvy.)

Elsewhere I read this:

<< Kodi turns any computer, smartphone or tablet into a digital set-top box or streamer, giving users the ability to stream files from the internet, a home network and local storage. Unlike other TV streamers such as the new Apple TV, Chromecast 2 and Amazon Fire TV Stick, Kodi isn’t held back by licensing or a curated app store, so it lets you download a range of community-made apps or addons, and watch whatever you like. >>

But how does one have permission to stream whatever's uploaded: How is it different from, like, Pirate Bay...which is maybe technically illegal, or just kind of ripping the producer off.
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Interesting. I haven't seen any of those. I'm about to start watching Preacher on Netflix. I've heard good things about it. The highest compliment was when some reviewer said if you like Fargo, you'll like this.


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Never heard of Preacher. Will have to look it up. I assume the reviewer was talking about Fargo the show, not the film … or maybe both?

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Good question. Not sure, but I think he was referring to the TV show.


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Episode 3 of Fargo tonight was AMAZING! This show just keeps getting better and better.


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I watched the first episode of Preacher on Amazon and can honestly say it's unique in a good way.
(I'd continue watching except the quality of the streaming was intolerable.)
It took about 30 mins of watching to settle into it,you think you're watching one thing and then you sit up and take notice! Its bizarre but funny and intriguing.

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That sounds like my cup of tea. Thanks for the review, dazed.


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Not so much in my experience. I ran into a tough spot in college, failed a couple of ridiculously hard courses, got discouraged and basically just dropped out. I've always considered myself to be college educated, just with nothing to show for it. However, I have managed to be fairly successful in my professional career(s). I've found the biggest factors to employment retention is basically just reliability and attitude. I've seen it happen again and again in various employment settings, when the financial chips hit the fan, it's nearly always the folks who regularly call in sick with the sniffles who are given the boot first. I approach work with a nose-to-the-grindstone attitude and ALWAYS show up and on time. None of that requires a lot of education, just discipline. I've never been asked to leave a job. I've left several jobs, but always of my own accord and usually set to the wailing and gnashing of employers. Get your foot in the door and set your own high standard and you should rise within the company, typically. Educational success can allow one to start one's career from a higher rung, but I believe it's work ethic that truly determines how high one will ultimately climb.

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Not at all, one of the worst nightmares of myself happened. In my recent hardship, it was because co-workers dictated my fate. The manager did not "micro-manage" and when crap hit the fan, he believed their words way more than mine. See the thing here is, coworkers cannot manage, a supervisor can. If you are having problems, he can offer the leniency or be black/white about results. When it is the co-workers and their words, he uses that to base your fate (basically black/white). It never helped either that I never was really told what I did wrong (I could never address who said it or who told him what I was lacking.)

You would think you just show up on time and do what it is your told right? I was there every day. Our clock in could not happen more than 7 minutes before our work time. I was always there in the grace period, helping people. So you would think I would fit the description of a good employee right? I thought so too.

That is why I have a cautious attitude about life now, especially with at-will businesses.

The times when you show up on time and do what your told are gone. They have every reason not to to allow you to be there.

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Well, it's not a hard and fast rule, clearly. Got a short shrift? Don't dwell, move along. Don't be afraid to start low on the next totem pole. Be more concerned about how high the particular totem pole can be climbed. Basically, it's a bitch out there, make due.

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The best thing that came of the experience is that I answered my own question. If I just showed up on time and did as I was told, is that all there is to it? This was not the first time by any means, I had tons of other opportunities for this and that is what I did. It was not until this opportunity that I noticed other factors that came into play. So yes, it definitely is a learning experience and something I can carry on. I am just glad it happened now instead of later.

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Well said, Kazak. When life gives you lemons.....

Or to put it in another way, "Buck up, buttercup."

Or the immortal "That which does not kill me makes me stronger."


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That which does not kill us, gives us a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.

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LOL, Skip!



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:D

More true than the usual "… makes us stronger." After all, it *could* put us into a catatonic coma, and into a mental ward, right?

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We could list possibilities all day!

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A great post, Kazak. You will go far imho.

There's an old saying which goes something like this: "Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education."


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''What could one compare this to in the caveman days''?

Well times have certainly changed in this country over the past few decade. It used to be you could earn a middle class income with just a high school education. Now a college degree is required. Also, the cost of living, education, healthcare, gas, rent, ect..... were much cheaper then than it is now. The middle class is slowly shrinking every year due to issues such as this. Eventually, there won't be a 'middle class' anymore. Just rich and poor.

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Well comparing it to caveman, I think of it as more of a tribe. When you get with a business, they give you pay, healthcare, and a retirement fund. I am thinking it is more of like a group of people who have just killed an animal and you automatically have a piece to take home every night.

Whereas, if you freelance, you kind of kill an animal temporarily, like maybe a rabbit, and you share the pittance you get out of it.

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Mmmm. Ugh. Ah. Fire good.


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No I don't see that happening. There will always be a middle class. It's where people on the way up, and on the way down, cross paths.


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Employers are too freaky picky especially employers that offer minimum wage. They are too worried about looking for the perfect candidate when perfection is impossible to attain. I'm tired of working for others. I wanna support myself by being self employed and even starting your own business costs money. You'd have to take out a loan or something.
Life is a stupid rat race where the vast majority lead average lives and have to psyche themselves up daily affirmations just to make it through the days, weeks, and years til death.

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I did both and both have their difficulties.

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