I thought this was a fascinating piece from CNN. Yes, I know it's CNN (ugh!!), but still, this was pretty bold and ballsy they even covered this topic.
It seems more and more people are opting for single life and not getting married these days. Both men and women.
My parents remarked it was the "norm" back in the 70s for young people after high school to get hitched and have kids all before 25.
But, hey, at least she made a choice to be with him, right Otter? Is that the type of 'feminist' choices you champion? Or, hey, is it possible that (*whisper it*) some women are as fucking clueless at making sensible and decent choices as many men? 🤔
With respect to the second part, NO-ONE knows what they're doing. Anyone who says that they do, is a fucking liar (professional prostitutes/gigolos are *possible* exceptions, and I'm sure that even they can't guarantee 'expertise'). The best we can ask is that each partner, male or female, makes every effort to support and accommodate their other half, and that a man always endeavours to give their partner an orgasm/attend to their sexual needs. Selfish lovers should be eshewed, but this focus on expertise is elitist/stuck-up bullshit, whether it applies to men or women (and it's no more misogynist of me to criticise women for having high expectations than it is 'misandrist' of me for criticising men for having similarly high expectations; I'm pro-people/pro-humanity, and anti-misanthropy/anti-elitism; we all need to be kinder, more accepting and more accommodating of one another; this is a HUMANIST versus ELITIST issue, NOT a man versus woman one; but, I sadly suspect you're a neoliberal elitist, Otter, albeit one who uses 'feminism' as a pretext for their personal elitism).
There really isn't a lot of incentive for men to date and especially get married. In fact the whole process, including even asking a woman out is unpleasant for men.
Most marriages end in divorce and the man gets screwed over. Marriage/relationships are no guarantee of sex either. Families? See divorce, the man gets screwed over and never gets to see his kids anyway. Loneliness? It is what he will feel after he gets screwed over.
What other reasons do you need to know why so many men are walking away from relationships?
Oh, and you don't need to be in a relationship to have sex. Especially if you live in a country with legalized prostitution.
Men already have walked away and formed the groups or found the support from other men that you speak of. We don't need official things like women have, we won't get any support from the Matriarchal Govt anyway.
As you have seen via the link it has become so prominent that the lame stream media can't ignore it anymore.
Yes. At the moment in Australia the military is on a recruiting drive and lo and behold who is starting to feature in the ads? White men! Except not many white men will be willing to die for the country which demonizes them. And the other other racial and gender groups which get pandered to would never join let alone fight anyway.
I worked with a divorced guy whose ex wife was abusing their daughter. Everytime he or his daughter would contact the Police, the cops would investigate him. It took him 2 years to finally find a cop who realized it was the ex wife not him who was doing the abusing!
Women are of a much lower quality than years gone by, from the perspective of a man.
Women used to be so much more feminine. But women's lib made women masculine, tough, want to "wear the pants", show the world that they are "strong and independent" etc.
Emphasis moved away from being a good wife, mother and home maker, to being a "career woman".
So because women no longer dreamed of getting married and having that life, they became less attractive and less interested in men, and as such, became less attractive TO men.
Single guys see how married life has screwed over their buddies and see that as unattractive.
Single guys have seen how kids these days are 'woke' and basically 'far left' and that also is a huge turn off to wanting to procreate.
Basically society peaked in the 1960s and has been in decline mode ever since.
Women are in the driving seat. They're the ones rejecting men. Not the other way around. Although I appreciate that some men will feel disinclined to make the effort because of the current 'reward versus risk' ratio (but, unless a man is a complete misogynist, I don't think 'women are now too powerful/independent/strong' is the real deterrent).
But why is it okay for men to be 'strong' and butt heads, and to be independent, and thus able to walk out on a woman at any moment?
I don't necessarily disagree with your tastes here, but it's unfair and hypocritical, not to mention sexist, if you're only applying such expectations to women. Women should expect no worse nor better than men when it comes to relationships.
Independent does mean what it means. But the alternative in the past was that the woman gave you sex unwillingly with a fake smile plastered on her face and/or having an affair behind the man's back.
And who'd want to have sex with someone who isn't into you? I'd personally hate that. Then again, there are a lot of men who pay for prostitutes, so I suppose *they* don't care.
Honestly, I'd rather be permanently celibate than have sex with someone who feels obliged to be with me.
Women have been conditioned by men to dissemble and lie and not 'be themselves'. Then we are astonished as they fake their way through life. Many women are like that. People that are oppressed always need to think outside the box.
If I was married, I try to know what my wife really thought of me. Not by rummaging through her clothes or keeping tabs on her internet activity, but by knowing her facial tics so much that I'd hopefully know for sure how committed she is.
I think both issues are true, in that they are factors causing the current failure of the system.
Women are both being increasingly selective and rejecting at the same time that a large portion of men are becoming frustrated with trying AND disenchanted with the minefield they will face even if they succeed in finding a mate.
So you have women wanting high value men, including normally men with higher salaries then them, while the men have plenty of real world observations of women and society treating men like shit.
So men are less engaged and women are more refusing, and the end result is that everyone is less happy and we have serious demographic and social issues.
. I've heard many western men are seeking overseas brides in Asian countries or eastern European countries to find more "feminine" women. But yeah, many men get turned off by the "strong and independent" types.
I also believe since approximately 2017 around the "MeToo" movement, it has made men more cautious about approaching western women for fear of losing their jobs and reputation. Not really worth it.
Theoretically, every man should be able to discern the difference between approaching women respectfully and reasonably, and behaviour that constitutes harassment and potential abuse, which I'm sure is the argument many feminists will make in response to those men they accuse of 'whining' about the post-MeToo dynamic.
But, IN REALITY, human-beings are insecure and anxious, whatever their sex, gender, sexuality or race (unless they are complete sociopaths), and so, it stands to reason that many men will feel anxious about whether they should approach a woman for a date etc. Still, I'd hope they'd be motivated more by genuine consideration for women (i.e. "What is the right thing to do in this situation? Will my behaviour potentially cause offence/alarm?") rather than for selfish or paranoid reasons (i.e. "What if the woman is a liar or hysterical and she accuses me of something that causes me to lose my job?")
I think it boils down to having kids and a family not being worth it, not logically, economically or psychologically. There’s too much instability in every aspect of our lives that matter when it comes to having both and security isn’t assured, not in the workplace, not in relationships, not in life. We know bad people exist, we know they will hurt us and we know that hurt may cause irreparable damage that we aren’t in positions to repair. We know those bad people can be our partners, our bosses, our relatives, our doctors, ours schools, our government. A lot of us are better educated than our parents and grandparents, but we have far less opportunities, financial footholds, support systems, general help and so on – but even when things were better, most of us have relatives like parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles who were abused by some of the above mentioned people and systems and we’re trying to learn from their mistakes and their misfortunes. In other words, our normal isn't the normal of the 70s, and maybe the "norm" wasn't all that normal then either.
That's the thing, macroeconomic forces as well as societal shifts have made it very hard for people to do the marriage-kids-mortgage things that was normal to past generations.
The cost of housing is out of sight and nobody can afford a mortgage, raising kids is fantastically expensive and the parents are lucky if they move out before age 30, and both men and women have realized that being single is a far better deal than being in an unhappy marriage. And IMHO the secret of all those old-time marriages that lasted a lifetime and provided economic benefits for adults... only lasted because people used to be far more willing to put up with relationships that made them miserable.