What's the drunkest you've ever been?

Everyone who has been on this board the last two years is aware of my tale of woe. But, for the newbies...here goes again.🥤🥤🥤🥤For the old timers on here bear with me while I relate once again “The Drunk Meets the Funeral Home” not permanently, thank the good Lord! This was first told to our beloved Dewey 😇 who is no longer with us....just in spirit.

“Another tale I will never, ever forget. I have to remember because so many are starting to leave us. There are fewer each year to recount the high jinks. Friends I've had for over 55 years.
Anyhow, another trip to Daytona, but this time it didn't stay in Daytona! We all had drove over on Friday night. It was party time! There's something worse going to sleep drunk...it's waking up, with a hangover, sand all over you, the salt air and sun beating down on you! Well, you know the old saying, "the hair of the dog". Trouble is it didn't work no how many times I tried it followed by water chasers. Needless to say by Saturday evening I was out of my gourd! They couldn't get me sober. We were headed home, but they couldn't deliver me at the house in the shape I was in. Evening turned into night. Still not sober. They didn't know what to do with me until one of the guys who had graduated got a bright idea. He was planning to go to mortuary school and was at the time working at the local funeral home. You guessed it! There they took me. The gals stripped me down to my undies (I think it was just them. He would never tell me) and plunged me into a tub of ice cold water. I half way remember that part, but I definitely remember the part where he said "The next step is to take her to see the dead." I came straight up out of that water and made a bee line for the door! I was sober! I was sober I think! It ended with me spending the night with my best friend. She had called my mom earlier and told her I had become sick from too much sun. Yeah, right! Too much sun did me in!”

I think I was 15 or 16, so young and stupid, and I was at a party in this kids basement. I think both hash and pot were being smoked, I don't remember smoking it, but it was a hotbox none the less. I was also drinking lemon gin. I was so wasted that when a couple of friends were walking me home I think I walk-puked the whole way. Thank goodness my parents weren't around that night to see me. But I was young enough not to have a bad hangover. Needless to say, that was the last time I was really stupid drunk.

During my first year out of high school, I moved in with a friend whose parents had divorced and he and his mother had a big house to themselves. It contained a large, finished basement with a rec room and bar.

My buddy decided to have a New Year's Eve party in the basement that year. All I can remember of that night is that, it was a lively party and I sat at the bar for awhile, socializing and nursing a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. The next thing I remember was standing at the top of the basement steps, staggering and plummeting head first all the way down and then passing out at the bottom. To this day, I'm amazed and grateful I didn't break either my neck or back during that fall.

I've had some doozies but one that sticks out involves me waking up face down on my kitchen floor underneath the open door of my freezer with a rather large bump on my head. No recollection as to how I got there but I imagine I wanted a popsicle, was a little too anxious opening the freezer door and whacked myself in the head with it causing me to fall to the floor where I'd wake up a couple hours later.

3,50 when I crushed my car. Fortunately I was OK.

In the last minute of this video you can see me fall in my own puke in the bushes:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3F7nfsMlT4Y

Enjoy

Alright, since we’re sharing. Back when I became of legal drinking age I ran with some kids a few years older. They thought it entertaining to take me out to all the atl strip clubs. One night at a rather esteemed club we were taking tequila shots and my bud bought me a lap dance. Between this girls legs I see my friend across the table giving me the ”slap her ass” gesture. Being drunk on tequila, of course I slapped her ass so hard I left a hand print. A few minutes later the bouncer came over and reprimanded me for putting my hands on a dancer. I was never ejected from the club. I’m not proud y’all, but I am somewhat a legend for this story.

I drank heavily in college and I could finish off a fifth of vodka on a regular basis. One time I was drinking for probably 12 hours and I honestly don't remember how much, but we were up until morning. I got back to my apartment, somehow I walked there, and slept until 9pm which was something like 14 hours. I was due in at work at 5pm and they called several times, but I never woke up. I called work and begged to keep my job. Needless to say, this is when I realized I had an alcohol problem and it was time to dial it back.