Isn’t it a bit unfair that we are expected to have our entire lives together by our mid 30’s?

Ouch... I'm 35 years old, and I have no career (I'm on disability pension) and neither a husband or any kids. My life has become being mostly at home as a companion to my mother. So I can relate. I dream of becoming a published writer though, if I can only get that far...

Then again, both my siblings, who both are College graduates with good careers, were so called late bloomers socially as well. So it makes sense that I would be even worse off than them. At least my sister is married and has a six-year-old daughter.

Fuck expectations and do what is best for YOU. After all, its YOU who has to live your life.

I'm in the same boat. Unmarried, but working on some personal goals. People will think it's strange, or question your sexuality if you haven't had kids or been married, but let them be. Half who marry end up regretting that, and regrettably for men, they often end up very depressed if the Ex has the kids and he's forced to slave away to pay her and not have much contact.

So instead of thinking you're missing out, think that you have dodged a potentially huge bullet.

I wouldn't say it has any moral substance. It's not fair or unfair. It's just a matter of perspective.

For example, I remember, as a kid, thinking I would have my life together by age 25. Married with a fulfilling career, a paid-for house and at least 2 kids and a dog. Now, as a someone over 25, I can see how ridiculous that is because I live a life far from any of that and I've never been in a position to work toward any of that. I'm currently unemployed, I often think I'll never get married and I definitely don't see myself becoming a parent.

Do people look at you funny when you tell them all this? Yeah, but the way I see it, they're living life on the high of social prescriptions, and that's good for them. But that's not what works for me and my life, and it has definitely never made me happy trying to live that checklist tick-box life. I have to do things my way, and I'm much more content doing so. Especially in comparison to the many people chasing this life, who often seem to feel like they're failing in some way because they can't attain it.

So, to me, it's not a matter of fairness. It's just called reality versus expectations, and realizing that expectations don't mean anything once you get older.

I think one of the dirty little secrets about life that nobody tells you, is that in a sense nobody really has everything figured out by the time they reach some magic age of wisdom.

At any age, you can still feel inside like you're not ready for stuff you're supposed to be ready for. There's never really a good time for anything, you just have to do what YOU think makes you happy and that feel you can handle without too much stress or fallout.