When it says “Keep holy the day of his birth, and Santa Claus will bring ye presents.”
But it doesn’t say anything about leaving out milk and cookies. Was that somewhere else in the Bible that I overlooked, or is it just another example of the church adding meaningless traditions?
MILK,COOKIES AND CARROTS FOR THE REINDEER...PERHAPS YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THE THREE WISE MEN AND THEIR TASTY GIFTS.🎅
shareI must have skimmed over that part. At least it wasn’t one of those deals like Lent where the church forbid meat on Fridays so their fishermen friends would benefit. I figured this one might be to make the cattle ranchers and cookie farmers rich.
shareCarrots for the Easter Bunny and she will lay you eggs!
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It was probably some pagan tradition the church subsumed to make themselves more relevant - they are good at that kind of thing.
shareOnly one thing ?
Yes, just that one. The rest of the bible is pretty straight forward. 6000 years ago, God created the universe and gave birth to his two sons, Jesus and Santa. Those two had a baby and called him Adam. God ripped out some of Adam's bones and made them into a woman for him who then got tricked by a snake into eating an apple. After Adam and Eve's kids had more kids with each other and so on for many generations, God got mad and drowned everybody except one family because there were enough people now and they were able to have kids with other people who weren't very closely related, and that's just weird. After that, Charlton Heston threw some frogs and grasshoppers at King Tut to distract him while he and his peeps ran through a puddle and escaped. Then Jesus came down to Earth and got a job as a scarecrow because I assume the Romans were having trouble with their crops being eaten by birds and Jesus is helpful like that. Then some guy poked him in the side with a stick, and so Jesus decided to go take a nap in a cave. After he woke up, he went back to heaven and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.
shareLOL! Have to admit, I laughed at that. Good stuff.
shareAmusing but I suggest you try watching some of Jordan Peterson's Biblical lectures on Youtube for his take on the allegorical nature of the stories in the Old Testament. They're not as dumb as they might seem to be.
In his last sermon, Jesus said "Leavest thou some cookies for Santa (nice chocolate chip ones, not crappy Oreos), and thou willst joineth me in the Kingdom of Heaven forever, and get some nice gifts, too." I forget what book and chapter that is in.
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