It is hard work, and requires a lot of trust. It's also not as easy as porn and the internet would make it seem to just find someone for a threesome. Especially if you want someone who is clean, not psycho or needy, not looking for a relationship, and not the jealous type. From past experiences, it's less messy (pun not intended) for the extra to be male, as for the most part males have an easier time separating sex and love.
I said in the other post, we've always had an open relationship. There has never been an expectation of monogamy. If we were exclusive, and then decided to add others, that would not have worked for me at all. I don't think that having a threesome will destroy a marriage or a relationship, but I think it's important to figure out why you want one in the first place. It's not a band-aid solution for underlying issues.
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Artisan (3464)
4 years ago
Poly is about being in love/having multiple relationships, I think that is different to an open relationship where perhaps it is more about casual dating and sex. Keeping things at an emotional distance although that is never a guarantee people won't develop feelings for each other.
I think it would be odd turning a monogamous relationship into an open one as well. I agree that it's not a band aid as well. I can see it making things worse.
Side note, a while ago I heard about classes (believe it or not) for Poly and Open relationships. I just thought that was the strangest thing, if you have to learn about it than surely it is not for you? Seems rather pretentious.
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