A. Graphically violent horror movies.
B. Weed, shrooms, and alcohol.
C. Porn.
D. The Communist Manifesto.
E. A voodoo doll, a Ouija board, and a Satanic pentagram.
The Communist Manifesto, which he'd likely have gotten from me anyway.
The other stuff wouldn't bother me, except B depending on his age and how responsible he'd be being with it, for legal and safety reasons. Anything else would be his business.
Who has physical copies of porn anymore by the way? A quick internet search gives you a thousand times more porn than any magazine.
Probably the porn.
shareF. A mirror so I could see what I was doing wrong with this violation of trust.
You?
Exactly.
shareI have to disagree Harry.
Morally you're correct it is a breach of trust, but while children are at so much risk of being groomed or radicalized,eating disorders,suicide cults,extreme porn to name but few things I don't think it's as simple as that.
Parents need to be vigilant.
You'd know much better than I Dazed, I've no idea how keeping a teenager out of overusing the Internet is done. Lots of exercise and physical skills training would be my idea of how they should best use their time.
Even with that, ideas at that age are half baked and come out of left field - not an easy thing to shepherd I shouldn't think.
Honestly when mine were teens drugs and alcohol were really all that was a major concern.I never really snooped so much as found stuff in plain sight like a piece of paper my daughter had used to copy my signature for sick notes!
I think parenting a teen nowadays must be a minefield and I suppose the kind of snooping a parent would have to do might mean going through their browsing history as opposed to simply looking in a closet.That would seem like overstepping the mark and yet the internet is where they are most at risk.I don't know what people do.
I often think about young people using the Internet and their parent's not fully understanding what is available with just a few clicks from an educated search term as dangerous.
I mean kids will be kids and today's kids have known the Internet to be an everyday thing their whole lives. Their parent's, for the best part, didn't start using it until they were adults though and won't understand how easy it is to slip down a rabbit hole by having fears, concerns and questions being preyed upon by cultists, weirdos and the like.
It can't be easy when you see your child say terms like kek and Pepe and the media is telling you that's the words of Nazi sympathisers. When, in the context that those terms are probably being used, is about overthrowing a hegemonic power base of elitism being abused by the Fourth and Fifth Estates.
An exciting time to watch the world tear itself apart but a worrying one when you've got a legacy which is going to inherit what comes of it all.
<< F. A mirror so I could see what I was doing wrong with this violation of trust. >>
Eh.....they can deal with it in therapy later, like we all did.
There are lots of dead kids who wish their classmates' parents had looked in THEIR closets, before school cafeterias were shot up.
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Let me know when you've got the Oprah guest spot so I can tape it :)
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Oh, I will LAY it on, Mister.
But seriously.....my sister sometimes reads my nephew's diary, and when I asked her if she felt bad she said "Yes, but I'd rather have him alive and mad at me than...a suicide case."
And that's what she found he was writing about.
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I'm sure it's on a case by case basis Cookie, I don't have any kids and so can't imagine what parenting them must be like in our current technological state of enlightenment.
I do talk to my friends' kids though and they seem pretty open about stuff as far as I can tell.
Your sister is more than likely right to be hated for a while rather than having a child who has died or fallen into troubles which could have been resolved earlier.
I just hope, in ignorance, that it will all just work out nicely - silly of me I know as I've been through that part of my life and is gets very complicated very quickly (Or at least feels like it does).
I think there's a thin line between violation of trust/snooping for snooping's sake and being a responsible parent who is monitoring the activities of the child they have a duty toward in guiding their development mentally, physically and morally.
If you're snooping on a 25 year old for reasons of wanting to exert control and undue authority, not cool.
If you're inspecting the habits of a 16 year old because you want to remain vigilant of any harm that child is getting into, a person whose BRAIN hasn't even completed development yet, that's being a parent. All bets are off while one's offspring are still in one's care.
Nice choice of username!
From what I've been reading lots of chicks don't fly the coup as early as they used to, snooping on an adult, your child or otherwise, is a bit too weird.
I can understand the teenagers being safe argument though.
Yes, for economic reasons it's very widespread these days for people to be living with their parents, either never left or came back.
In those cases, parents need to step off, I feel.
On the other hand, there's a gray area though -- it's the parents' house so in a sense "my house, my rules" and nefarious or illegal activity kind of becomes their business if it's happening under their roof. Yet how to balance this with the fact that your child isn't a child anymore?
It's tricky territory.
Add people's opinions on all sorts of matters and their being doxxed and you could have a legal case on your hands regarding your own well-being should a situation get taken out of your control regarding your household's "Rules".
Tricky indeed Prelude!
B, C or D would all be okay.
Probably D is the least problematic.. I would just wonder why he needed to keep it in the closet and I'd be glad he was reading a real book. I'd probably talk to him about it, not to scold or say it's bad, but to have a real discussion about the ideas.
Porn is also pretty normal, as long as it wasn't like, super violent or extreme stuff. I assume every teen has watched porn now that it's so widely available for free online. This might trigger a talk but not a shaming talk, just a talk about not letting porn warp your expectations for dating and real life.
The drugs you listed would not worry me excessively unless they were in large amounts and he had been getting bad grades and having other behavioral problems. Weed is legal here and is non addictive. Shrooms might need a little talk about safety and moderation, but it's also non addictive. Alcohol is the only one of the 3 that is addictive so I'd want to know how much he was drinking and make sure he never ever drove while drinking and never rode in a car when the driver had been drinking. If I found opiates, crack, or huffing materials then I would be much more concerned about. Huffing would scare me the most of all. That can kill you the first time you do it.
I watch horror movies myself and watched them even more as a teen and in college, ( my tolerance was higher then for more extreme violence) so the movies would not necessarily freak me out unless they were like, snuff films or something.
Even the ouija board and occult stuff wouldn't totally freak me out, those are fairly common items (might even be sold in toy stores or stores like Hot Topic) and don't really mean that he's out doing human sacrifices in the woods. I played with a ouija board in middle school and high school, and I have a handmade voodoo doll on a shelf in my room right now, that was a souvenir from New Orleans. It's just a beautiful item, but i don't believe in any of that stuff.
Things that would seriously worry me:
-guns or other weapons
-any kind of extreme religious propaganda that advocates violence (any religion)
-hard drugs (coke, crack, any opiates or opioids, meth, huffing)
-Rope or other cordage materials used for auto-asphyxiation masturbation (so many deaths are mistakenly labeled suicide when the kid was just trying to wank off and never wanted to die. seriously kids do not try this.)
- obviously stolen goods- i.e. some name brand shoes that I know I didn't buy him and he can't afford, jewelry he can't afford, etc.
-Nickelback cds ( I raised you to have better taste than this! Did your friends give you these?)
A. I've always liked them myself!
shareGraphically violent horror movies are for people who want to destroy the human body porn is for people who like the human body too much. Drugs are for people who like psychosis.
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C.
:-)
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