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Nilfgaard armor, the worst armor design ever?


I thought that maybe i'd get used to it but no, until the very last episode, i couldn't believe how ugly and stupid it looks. It was so distracting and hard to take them seriously.

I literally can't think of an uglier armor design in any movie i've watched or game i've played.

Has anyone seen anything worse?

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Looks like it was made from trash bags.

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Good one!

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I liked the show well enough, but yeah the Nilfgaard armor design was horrible. The other armor looked fine so who the hell designed that pos. I've never played the games so did they lift that design from there?

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No way, the armor looked pretty badass in the games.

See for yourself:
https://i.redd.it/ahr13kwlt5031.jpg

Say what you will about the game version, at least it doesn't look like they are wearing trash bags.

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Yeah I can see the armor looked MUCH better in the games. Makes that foreskin armor look even worse now.

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No, I haven't seen anything worse.
Bad enough they turned the most technologically and socially advanced human culture in the Witcher world into ISIS, but the showrunner's explanation that the armor represent the idea that Nilfgaard is an ascending power and its army is still "ragged" doesn't make any sense. It's quite obviously a leather armor and making these "wrinkles" would mean a considerable expense. Not something a newly conscripted army of a poor kingdom would be able to afford.
Since they seem to go for a kind of an early Arab Caliphate religious expansion vibe it would have been a lot more logical to have the Nilfgaardian warriors (from what we see in the battle they are not really soldiers yet) to be dressed in all kind of random armor with maybe black head- or armbands with the white sun representing their faith. I bet renting a bunch of chain-mail suits from HBO would have been cheaper than this anyhow.


And, Lauren, whoever told you that a professional standing army is more "primitive" than feudal levies and city militia (of the Northern kingdoms) should be fired. In fact one of the main reasons the North wins in the books is when they start using professional mercenary companies.

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army is still "ragged" doesn't make any sense. It's quite obviously a leather armor and making these "wrinkles" would mean a considerable expense


Yeah, that makes no sense from a lore perspective. Those weird wrinkles were extra steps added on purpose. They could have left the armor a plain black leather but it seems they could afford to model them and yet they went with ballsack model.

If they wanted that ragged look it would have made more sense to have them with random armor pieces, like you have in any RPG where you get random pieces from enemies.

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It's one of the things that remains from the original team vision, which was full woke, and which was later on downgraded by producers to prevent backlash.

The Nilfgaard armor was supposed to represent 'patriarchy', and it was designed to simulate a penis. Literally. The helmet is the glans and the plates are the scrotum.

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I heard about this theory but I find it really hard to believe. It's just... Too unimaginably moronic to be true.

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It's just... Too unimaginably moronic to be true.
Welcome to planet Earth

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Nowadays, if something seems too ridiculous to be true... it's probably true.

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Even ignoring the absurdity of all the woke crap, let's say the Nilfgaard wanted their armor to be phallic.

Is this the best they could come up with? A pathetic looking penis? Why not something more imposing and aggressive? A more "we'll fuck you up" armor and less "i just shaved my balls for a day on the beach" look.

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A pathetic looking penis? Why not something more imposing and aggressive?

It was a woke design.

In the woke book, white men are pathetic and weak while women are strong. Representing something more 'imposing' would go against the book.

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Basically on the show, Geralt is the only white man that isn't pathetic or a buffoon, but then again, he's not really human.

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In the books, almost every character is pathetic. The books are extremely satiric. However, the satire is not gender-oriented or race-oriented. It's more a nihilistic vision of 'people' in general.

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And by people Sapkowski means any sentient being - not just evil humans.

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Agreed. With very few exceptions, every intelligent being is by default an asshole, human, elf or whatever else.

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Yeah, I thought the armor in Game of Thrones, particularly the Lannister armor looked bad. That Nilfgaard crap looked like BDSM roleplaying equipment.

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