Funniest line of the movie goes to...

Make sure you wear a rubber dude....

.....Lumberg f*cked her....

Every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

So many good ones but two not mentioned that crack me up:

“I told those fudge packers I liked Michael Bolton’s music”

And….when Peter looks at the bank balance slip and simply says “oh shit”. So simple but cracks me up every time.

Good luck with your layoffs, hope your firings go well.

Michael Bolton: “If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.”

Milton: Okay.. that's the last straw

Every single thing Lawrence said. I love how he said silly things in full seriousness.

the sardonic way Peter reluctantly says "Really Tom, what was it" gets me every time.
It's after Tom's talking about million dollar ideas, and says he had an idea like that once, and for several seconds Peter, Michael and Samir just sit there in awkward silence, the unspoken consensus 'we don't want to know, but one of us has got to put Tom out of his misery and ask'. It's brilliantly done.