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Nice bit of goody-goody fantasy world sanctimony.
If Brock Turner was my kid, I'd fucking disown him.
Why are you 'unsettled' by me bringing up rape? Surely it's ABUNDANTLY clear how I feel about it (i.e. I despise it SO much, that I'd be prepared to disown my own kin if they committed such an act). Once again, I'm not sure why that's 'unsettling'.
But yes, I take responsibility for SO many things (UNLIKE THE VAST FUCKING MAJORITY OF SOCIETY, who I see behave like jackasses, getting drunk, taking drugs, abusing people, mistreating people, insulting people), that I resent taking responsibility for *someone else's* actions, because, guess the FUCK what? I've been blamed in the past for OTHER PEOPLE'S behaviour/actions, including the actions of people I don't even particularly like. 😠
I've been marginalised at work simply for making friends with people who don't get on with a boss/superviser, even though I've done nothing to offend them. And I've had to adjudicate in a harassment case where the evidence was very flimsy, and as much as my personal bias was with the complainant, rather than the respondent, and as much as I take harassment very seriously, I can ONLY go on the evidence adduced, and if the evidence isn't there it would be fucking IRRESPONSIBLE to impose harsh penalties on the respondent (although, FWIW, the decision of the three-person panel, which was headed by a WOC*, who was on balance less sympathatic to the complanant than the two white men on the panel, myself included, was MUCH more critical of the respondent than the previous adjudicators had been, all of them WOMEN, one out of two of them, a WOC. But the complainant was still unhappy with our decision and thus cut me out of their life, just for doing my fucking JOB 😠).
* As an aside, the two white men, myself included, elected the WOC to be the head of the panel (not particularly because she was a Black woman, but on balance, we felt she was the best person to fulfil that role).
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HarveyManFredSin (4877)
a year ago
That said, I did the heavy-duty work in drafting the judgement and the reasonings for the judgement, once we had, as a collective, come to our decision.
But GO AHEAD. You and Kowalski like judging people like me. Point to me where *my* virtue is at fault! My ACTIONS are impeccable (probably more so than Kowalski, I suspect), but you think I'm in the 'wrong' because I come here to 'whine' about them.
Well, that's my fucking RIGHT. I behave like a saint in the real world, and I get shat on for doing so, SO, is it any wonder I occasionally need to vent? I may be a pushover but I am NOT a moron. I KNOW that people take advantage of me. It's one thing to accept/put up with that. It's another to be so ignorant, naive and clueless that you don't even recognise that people are treating you like shit. 😠👊🏿
And, NO, I am not a violent person, so no need to be 'alarmed' or 'unsettled'. The whole point of venting is that it serves as catharsis so that one doesn't ever feel compelled to turn to violence. If anything, it should be ENCOURAGED as a means of CONTROLLING violence, not that I am remotely inclined to violence (NEVER hit a woman, NEVER been arrested, NEVER engaged in a fight as an adult, although I've certainly tried to CALMLY intervene and stop a few BEFORE someone gets HURT or even KILLED).
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Wint3rFir3 (6931)
a year ago
If just doing the basics of parenting is sanctimonious, don't become a parent. You're already saying it's too much responsibility that you're not willing to do. No one will judge you that, but they will judge you once you have a kid and then disown them because you don't want to answer for whatever you do teach your kids.
Also, why are you first asking a question, and then insulting anyone who answers it? If you can't handle an answer as harmless as mine, you're not fit for conversation. I don't think it's unsettling to bring up a topic, what I find unsettling is the repeat of that topic, and not even what, a week in between them. It comes off as a fixation, and having a fixation of rape is unsettling, do you disagree? If we were friends, I would be suggesting you need a therapist to discuss it, as it comes off as kinda unhealthy, but since we're not, I'm just pointing out something you might want to correct if you genuinely want to connect with anyone on a basic social level.
As for everything else, has nothing to do with me. I wasn't on some moral high horse, and this story about your workplace is irrelevant to the topic. I don't even know how I factor into Kowalski's interactions with you, it's perplexing.
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HarveyManFredSin (4877)
a year ago
"No one will judge you that, but they will judge you once you have a kid and then disown them because you don't want to answer for whatever you do teach your kids."
But if I'm CLEARLY teaching my kids NOT to rape, is it *still* my fault if they proceed to commit such a crime? You seem to want to attribute blame to the blameless.
"what I find unsettling is the repeat of that topic, and not even what, a week in between them. It comes off as a fixation, and having a fixation of rape is unsettling, do you disagree?"
Yes, I'm fixated on it. I'll admit it. Because, guess what, it's a terrible crime, and as a man, it bothers me that so many men are committing this crime against so many women. Now, tell me, what is so 'unsettling' about that? Would you prefer that I didn't care about rape? I mean, it would be good for my mental health if I didn't, but it would also be SELFISH and MISOGYNIST. I care because I don't like to see women violated in this way. Like I ask, what's so 'unsettling' about that? Do you think someone who is *so* upset about this crime is going to commit it? How does that even make sense?
The story about my workplace is pertinent to the issue of taking the blame for other people's actions. Have you ever been blamed for something *someone else* did? So far, my hunch is that you've never *suffered* that misfortune, but I can ADVISE you, it's NOT nice.
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