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Can someone sum up everything that happens in the Bible...


...in one easy to understand post? It will save me from having to read it and understand the old English.

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Jesus the Commie says rich people are bad, and true believers will give what they have to the needy.

Trump says "Fake News!"

Yahweh allows Jesus to be a blood sacrifice because he created rules where something (like a lamb) or someone has to die in order for Yahweh to forgive, and he can't bypass his own rules for some reason. (Modern Christians still blame "Jews" for turning against Jesus even though that was the only thing that allowed universal forgiveness; Jews don't regard Jesus as the Messiah though)

Of course, Yahweh has already bypassed his own rules, as the Old Testament law used to be "One sin means you're tainted and not going to Heaven." A complete 180 degree flip from the Old to the New Testament.

Believe in Christ's sacrifice and you will be forgiven of any sins and will go to Heaven.

If you don't do that, your infinitely loving, perfect Creator will damn you to eternal suffering!

There ya go.

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That's a great summary. I just need to get my head around some of that and I'll be all good.

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I left one thing out: The Old Testament law was that if you committed a sin, you were to be put to death. Hence the example of someone executed for picking up sticks on the Sabbath.

That's the love of Yahweh.

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But you missed almost all of The Bible Part 1, and skipped to Part 2.

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It's true.

Jesus, beloved by conservatives, despised by progressives, was the original Communist.

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It's a funny world we live in. Of course, they will probably reject the idea that he was a communist.

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Plus Jesus wasnt a white dude like the fake paintings

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Old testament God's raging about Adam and Eve disobeying him. Turns a woman to salt because she looks back at the town she was leaving as it burned. Demands another man sacrifice his son just to see how dedicated he really is. Tortures (or allows to be tortured) yet another guy just to test his faith. Etc.

New Testament. God's chilled out quite a bit. Sends us humans a savior to die for our sins. Emphasizes forgiveness and the golden rule. Then the apocalypse comes around. Everyone dies. The good go to paradise to live eternally with God.

I don't know. Doesn't sound believable to me.

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The good go to paradise to live eternally with God.


I reckon I'll be living the rest of my life as a bad boy.

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Hebrews become enslaved by Babylon and adopt it's mythology to their own culture. Hebrews are set free. Hebrews are enslaved by Egypt, adopt some of that mythology, and are set free. Hebrews wander around for decades taking credit for attacks on major cities and scavenging, claim their god did it. Hebrews become subjects of Rome and reinvent their religion as Christianity to make it more palatable to polytheists. Christians adopt conservatism/neo-fascism and forget about Christ.

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A flock of unruly children ridicule a man for being bald and he gets so angry that he summons two bears to maul and kill forty-two of them.

Another time a whole village of men get tired of raping each other and decide to rape two angels instead.

These are actual stories present in virtually all versions of the Christian bible.

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"Just as we have lost our wonder at the world around us, we have forgotten what a treasure the human heart is. All of the happiness we have ever known and all of the happiness we hope to find is unreachable without a heart. You could not live or love or laugh or cry had God not given you a heart.
And with that heart comes something that just staggers me.
God gives us the freedom to reject him.
He gives to each of us a will of our own.
Good grief, why? He knows what free-willed creatures can do. He has already suffered one massive betrayal in the rebellion of the angels. He knows how we will use our freedom, what misery and suffering, what hell will be unleashed on earth because of our choices. Why? Is he out of his mind?
The answer is as simple and staggering as this: if you want a world where love is real, you must allow each person the freedom to choose."

-- Dan Allender

~~/o/

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