There are some great lines in Soap (even in season 4!!!!!)
Mine is in season 4 when chester says "Shocked, I'm appalled" when talking to Dr. Alan Posner. Its one of those lines you have to see to appreciate.
Anyone want to share their favourites?
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The Best Line in the Series :
( it takes place when Jodie brings home his suicidal lesbian friend Alice )
Mary: So
Jodie : So
Alice : So
Bob : So you're a lezbo huh ?
Burts, "I'm invisible" and Bensons, "You want me to get that?"
I'll give him 20 more minutes-and that's it!- Airplane!
Two favorites, off the top of my head:
1. The "Chester Plate" line...funny as hell.
2. Jessica's on trial, for murder, and she recognizes one of the jurors. The way she suggested that they should get together soon, that just had me howling laughter.
Deeeeeeep hurting!!!!!!!
I don't remember the dialogue verbatim, but when Jessica listed all the times Chester had been unfaithful was hysterical.
He cheated on our wedding day.
He cheated while I was giving to birth to each of our children.
He cheated on our honeymoon.
Jessica went on quite a while with this, and it left me gasping for breath.
Sally: "Mary, you have to believe me. Everything I've told you is a lie."
shareThere are hundreds of great ones, of course, but one line that stands out in my mind is delivered by Doris Roberts (playing Father Tim's mother). She is not at all pleased that he has brought a woman (Corinne) home. While her son is in the parlour, she is sweet as can be, offering her cookies, etc. Then, as soon as her son leaves the room, she pounces on Diana Canova's character. Grabbing her by the throat, she shouts: "You've ruined my life, you slut!" She reverts to "kindly mode" when her son comes back from the kitchen, and goes for Corinne's throat again as soon as he leaves. Doris is FANTASTIC in that scene.
"With a baby, you never know what will happen. Will it have blue eyes? Will it be left-handed? Will it be silver? Will it fly?"
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2. Jessica's on trial, for murder, and she recognizes one of the jurors. The way she suggested that they should get together soon, that just had me howling laughter.
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I just watched this one again. She goes on to do the "Volcano Dance" she and the lady had done together a PTA fundraiser. LOL
BOB, to BENSON after BENSON refuses to make him a drink.
"Hey Sambo, the noon whistle did not blow!"
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Confused? You won't be. On the next episode of...SOAP.
-3 people can keep a secret, if 2 of them are dead
I know it's not a funny line, but the speech Barney Gerber gives to Jody in the hospital about his wife after Jody has swallowed the pills is beautiful. Really nicely written.
STWIKE HIM CENTUWIAN, VERY WUFFLY!
In the middle of Season one, Ingrid starts packing up her things and stuffs a half full glass of wine nonchalantly into the bag as she mutters that she needs to get going. I almost peed myself at that one.
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