Ive never had coffee

You put water dish alongside a book?

how's the squirrel?

You are using that coffee table in a manner that goes against the law and I have alerted the Police about your strange behavior

Expect a raid at any moment you maniac!

My apartment is too small for a coffee table. It's large enough for a couch, unlike some places I've lived, but there's just two small end tables on either end of the couch to put things on.

That's the modern world, the cost of housing is so high that everyone's got less room than we grew up with.

I dislike coffee tables. They are too wide and too low and they get in the way. I prefer to use something half the size and taller to the side of my armchair.