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It was raining and dark but a bright lighting flash revealed the horrible truth...the big bear 'Snaggle Tooth' was back...and not too far off...

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He appoached her slowly, he had to protect her...His tiger loomed over them. But he would protect her.

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Suddenly she said with a fury in her voice, 'I get mauled by a wild Grizzly and you've had a gigantic Tiger next door the whole time?!? Where were you 10 minutes ago you dumb doofus?'

Through the teeth marks and bear spittle she looked fierce and beautiful...he suddenly felt like a fool, a fool in love

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I'm confused by the narrative now! Who's "he" and who's the "I" from the first post???

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Oh just jump in...This thing has Oscar written all over it!

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I went to help her, as you do.....next

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... when suddenly, Joe Jackson's Fools In Love began playing and the bear started to dance a tango with the tiger.
"Is that you, Winnie?" asked the bear to the tiger. "It's been so long, I almost didn't recognize you. Where have you been?"
"Tangiers," replied Winnie. "I've been on a top secret mission to save ..." next

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...the world from a massive nuclear explosion that would wipe out all of humanity" ...next

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I asked her what was wrong. "You wouldn't understand," she told me. "Someone who only cares about themselves never would."

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While she farted contently without a care in the world. So I turned away hastily and said to her...

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What on earth have you been eating? Somebody get me a match. Pheee-ooow!
Next.

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... and I'm out.

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