MovieChat Forums > I Spit on Your Grave III: Vengeance Is Mine (2015) Discussion > Why is it "not a big deal" for a man to ...

Why is it "not a big deal" for a man to be raped?

posted 8 years ago by thulk01
27 replies | jump to latest

Someone posted a suggestion that in the 4th movie they should have a man being raped by women and then killing them for revenge. I was thinking about that and thought it seemed silly - it's a horror movie, so of course any female characters will be attractive, and when you have a bunch of hot females holding a guy down and forcing him to have sex with them, and then he gets traumatized by it and wants to kill them, it seems almost comical and ridiculous. I even saw some guys posting saying they would love to be raped by a group of women.

I was wondering why this is though. Do men just enjoy sex more than women? Are men more easygoing? Why do people think it's horrific when a woman is raped by men, but not very serious when a man is raped by women (and if the women raping him are hot, it becomes even less serious and people actually think it's funny). Serious discussion, why is this?

[–] TheMan18 (12595) a year ago

So in a nutshell, including from than other angle, it actually IS a big deal irrespective of what some MAY think for one reason or another, and its simply a fact of life overall.

Also, I KNEW or suspected that the subject somehow here would be about female on male type, because others, including men being victims from you know who and how, are already well known and they actually ARE a big deal for people even in pure theory.

And there's no real mystery here either, just sad and common reality and caution and whatnot.

And I also notice, even in cases where some address this type of question, no one ACTUALLY comes to any type of conclusion here on the order of "Ah, so this is how" and that this "by rights means we have nothing to worry about", you can only WISH and even then its far from perfect.

[–] TheMan18 (12595) a year ago

I also dare say...

Fantasy much, maybe not, then again, I was also raised differently. Also, I experienced hype around the subject even before I found sad common facts of life. But I have to say...

Occasionally in life, I did wonder what would happen and how I would feel if say a lady managed to pull this against me under some or other circumstances. And I have seen films with such subject or scenes too, at least one of them was even notorious in how they thought it treated it very inappropriately light heartedly and in a trivial manner (the notorious early 00s "romantic" sex comedy "40 Days and 40 Nights" (2002) and possibly a few others) and some of them people questioned if one particular such scene was it, many disagreed, some did agree, CONTROVERSIES ENSUED. However...

Even I said I wouldn't like it even if she happened to look normal or be attractive rather than perhaps well those other details that would be it etc. But what I did wonder was, if it happened to me like that, would I be traumatized for life, would I die, and does a woman for example carrying an act out like this in itself SHOCK YOU? Regardless of police reports and whatnot. Even if I am also SADLY AWARE of here being say other problems potentially ensuing, even if I often also hear about how people despise the perpetrators too and oh well. But I also thought I wouldn't like it either. But wondered, albeit often in vain, if we can all come to one satisfying conclusion here, but in general, yeah, I understand.

And with films and trope wise also, yeah, I did notice differences too. With male perpetrators that is, for one, we see official revenge scenarios and at least UNDERSTAND THEM.

But even if that happened in that other sense, yeah, generally, I get it too. And I can't simply say "its no big deal" and then with a clear conscience put a full stop.

[–] TheMan18 (12595) a year ago

Dear God!

What a sad and depressing world we live in overall, even the blind can see it and deaf can hear it and even those with no hair can have hairs stand up due to seeing the general horrors here like that, my oh my oh my.

And in life, we don't even have a supply of action super heroes to correctly or otherwise battle it out like that.

Its bad enough that they happen and not all offenders are reported or called. But hearing stories of victims facing in some places execution as a result, its terribly mind boggling.

Why does power have to corrupt? Why is even sex capable of and is being used as a weapon? God.

[–] millsey72 (9655) 5 months ago

If the woman is fat and ugly, then of course it would be torture for the man. But if shes hott, the man would enjoy it

[–] TheMan18 (12595) 4 months ago

2 millsey72 - its not that simple, but then if it is, what makes it so off-putting are the gritty DETAILS around it and not just the fact that what happened could be classified legally and basically as the r-worded deed.

And even then - its not 100% certain either. And isn't beauty and lackthereof relative and in the eyes of the beholder anyway?

Besides, maybe there's a basic difference but... We never even in theory hear people say "if a man was attractive...", then again...

[–] TheMan18 (12595) 4 months ago

Also, to the OP -

We live in a world where myths and stereotypes exist as well as facts. And thing is, with one particular example, even with the fact that it also happened for the most part in human history, we were also surrounded by hype around it whereas with the other example, not too many people even knew or thought it happened that way as well. Hence why people formed stereotypes around it in that way, but something tells me, even with potential differences and whatnot, it actually deep down inside is a big deal and can lead to some very official less than wanted consequences if happened that way too.

[–] TheMan18 (12595) 4 months ago

It could still be physically painful and mentally humiliating even if she is attractive and there could be risks of STDs involved as well which would make the whole matter far from "merely enjoyable" like that.

[–] TheMan18 (12595) 4 months ago

Another thing that is also worth asking and is interesting even in a morbid and disturbing sense is THIS.

If women in life are ALSO capable of doing wrongful, maybe even dark and evil, rights violating deeds including (yes the r word or the s a term) deeds, however rare or however less COMPARED to men, does that also mean that we, whilst obviously should obey rules and laws and whatnot, but even with differences, shouldn't one sided-ly despise and completely hate guilty men as such, even if we agree they should be punished legally (not least also because, IT IS THE LAW and is in system and in place for a right reason) and that we shouldn't also completely have, even if for understandable reasons, one sided bias towards men in general (by the way, when did the stereotype "men= perverted sexual predators or even other violent beings generally" first arrive?) and even MORE THAN THAT...

Is it ALSO even POSSIBLE to answer such a question here without fear, and even without being, either, totally biased, prejudiced, unfair, offensive, unpopular, unbalanced etc etc, and even more so, do so but still add vengeance into the mix, if FOR INSTANCE say, the law FAILS to correctly prosecute the guilty individuals, and that with our human condition, much like murder of innocents who don't deserve it and even (however lesser) acts of other types of violence, such matter may not be completely eradicated, although I suppose we could at least have it massively reduced, but we all wish to anyways.

And on the last and final note. DOES IT EVEN MATTER IN BOTH MORAL AND LOGICAL SENSE IF THE PERPETRATOR HAPPENS TO BE A CHICK WHO IS ATTRACTIVE? Besides the very obviousness of obvious stuff, I really don't think we should continue to indulge that stereotype, even for PERSONAL REASONS AS WELL let alone objective ones (you know, reality and whatnot).

[–] TheMan18 (12595) 4 months ago

And is asking ON THE INTERNET for an intelligent permission to find an emotionally satisfying balance in the whole matter, whether today or otherwise, and no offense to anyone, often an equivalent to asking to find a needle in a haystack?

And that for reasons both personal and objective, few if any would simply sit down, take a deep breath, imagine some kind of metal business briefcase and a suit, analyze in a professional manner but with friendly approach and go "Ah, so THAT'S how AND why it is, and this is how that is" and, you know, maybe bring other forms of violence into the mix (as differently and/or worse as many do see the original matter including how law recognizes it TOO) AND EVEN INFORM us how to feel here and if we can be proud of ourselves in a celebrating knowledge sort of way with us having nothing to worry about etc and that, well...

And its no longer a surprise for anyone, that kowtowing approach won't come like that.

Fair enough folks.