MovieChat Forums > Fifty Shades Darker (2017) Discussion > Why do women have such high standards th...

Why do women have such high standards these days


I mean to say not every man can look like a handsome hunk with a chisled face. I'm average in terms of looks and wear glasses. But why do some women find me ugly. I have sen ugly men, trust me. And even they have a girlfriend.

What am I getting wrong?

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If you have to ask, then clearly your looks are not the problem.

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Honorable, confident, intelligent, good personality, then looks. This is the scale for me with the greatest importance to the least, regarding someone who turns my head. Maybe for some, many men even, the importance is reversed. Being good looking is irrelevant if you fell short early on.

~Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable~

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If my looks are irrelevant, then how come I can't even get a 'hello' on a dating site?

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I honestly don't even think this post is serious, but I'll bite.

There are probably all kinds of reasons why someone may not say hello to you, or take interest in your dating profile, and none of them may be about you personally. How can it be if they haven't met you yet? Everyone has their own list of attributes they're looking for, and I don't know what you've offered up as yours, but it may not be your picture, but the lack of confidence in your profile.

I don't know. I haven't ever had or seen a dating website profile, but I do know people who use them. If someone finds you ugly, it doesn't mean that you're ugly. Beauty is subjective. I don't find Channing Tatum, Brad Pitt, or Henry Cavill attractive. Does it matter to them? Of course not, who am I to them anyway? As it shouldn't matter to you. Stop caring what people think. You need to do you.

~Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable~

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If my looks are irrelevant, then how come I can't even get a 'hello' on a dating site?


Simple, if the rest of your profile is absolute hogwash, then it won't matter. Women want men who are responsible and have some semblance of having their act together. I met my wife on a dating site. She is way out of my league in terms of attraction, she was a former gymnast and later coach who trained people who went on to go to the Olympics.

If your profile is "I live with mom and work at McDonald's" then you won't get anything.

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But why should I not be living my parents?The only reason I would have to be living away would be if I was in a relationship. Why would a woman want expect a man to be living by himself?

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Because we want a grown ass adult who we know can look after himself? Seriously, unless you are a teen women are not going to like it if you live with your parents. And frankly, it doesn't matter why. You are not entitled to female attention, and you can complain about "high standards" all you want, but wanting a man who you know can take care of himself physically and financially is not "high standards" it's expecting an adult to be an actual adult.

You saying the only reason you would be away from home is if you are in a relationship makes it sound like you want an unpaid maid as much as you want a girlfriend.

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You're right. I understand.

Why would she want to meet my parents every time we meet up?

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Look I definitely understand living with your parents as an adult (assuming you are an adult), twice in my life I've had to move back home after job losses and break ups. Times are hard, wages are crappy and so many people are finding it really hard to survive let alone thrive. But those are the times to work hard on yourself, so you can become both independent and a better person. Also, sometimes the best thing you can do is stop worrying about finding a girlfriend. THe more you obsess over the opposite sex the more they tend to be put off (this goes for both genders). Sometimes chilling out a bit and focussing on other areas of your life is the best thing you can do.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Women are well aware that not every man can look like a handsome hunk with a chiseled face, just like men are aware that not every woman can be a Victoria's Secret model.

Like someone else mentioned, looks are not everything. Women like it when men are confident and have a good sense of humor. I've dated a man that was very good looking but he had no self esteem whatsoever. I tried very hard to show him how good looking he was and always gave him compliments, but he never liked himself. Needless to say, it didn't work out.

Don't be cocky, but have confidence. Try talking to a woman, if she ignores you, move on. What's meant to be will be.

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Little Mikey Myers that lived across the street.

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Women have a "6th Sense" when it comes to men NOT being confident of themselves and/or being "too needy" or even desperate! Beautiful women are immensely attracted to "Alpha" males that also are VERY WEALTHY! My sister in-law disagreed w/me and felt that Ana "felt sorry and/or cared about Christian and wanted to help him and how she couldn't care less about him being a billionaire" and BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! If it's NOT about his billionaire status, WHY then, did the writers need to have that in the movie? It's obvious that Ana could have any guy within her age group of peers but it's the "elephant in the room" (being a billionaire) that makes her drawn to Christian! If that was a true to life story, she would've gotten all wet and bothered hanging out at his high rise penthouse, his sailboat yacht, personal chauffeur, etc..... UNLIKE James Bond character, who's NOT personally wealthy but gets a living salary for his public services and yet, woman still fantasize about sleeping w/James Bond because he's definitely an Alpha male! I personally adore James Bond and Michael Douglas' character in "Basic Instinct" compated to Christian, who's a SELFISH, PATHETIC NARCISSIST, who only cares about his perverted, sexual deviancy and being obsessed w/getting everything he wants (like Ana) and then gets bored and moves on to his next challenge! James Bond is REAL MAN, compared to that pathetic, spoiled man child, Christian! He whines about his mom being a crack head when he was 4 years old...... as if he's the only human being w/problems in this world....... Aww, poor baby! He's constantly searching for self pity........ His character is a Klown w/a Kapital "K" !!!!

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Oh my goodness. This is the very last place to go for advice on romantic relationships.

“Why is it bad still to be living at home if I don’t have a woman with whom to live?” REALLY??? Because heterosexual women want to be with a mature, strong, independent man. Not with some boy who’s still tied to Mommy’s apron strings.

You should have figured that out by now.

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Also, if a person wants to have sex with someone, nobody wants to have to deal with the partner's parents first, OR have the parents listening in the next room. Both are boner-killers.

And seeing a potential partner's home tells you so much about them, and not just their financial status. Seeing a person's home tells you a lot about their tastes, preferences, organizational abilities, maturity level, and level of personal responsibility. Like - does your date live in a clean and comfortable space, or is it a gaming console surrounded by empties? You just can't get the same level of insight if their mother is doing all the cleaning and decorating.

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I’m so glad we have posters like you here, Otter. Thank you.

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