All Champagne is the same.”

This is a quote from Mickey in Episode 7.9. As an adult lifelong connoisseur of Champagne, I must piss on it. First, not all bubbly wine is Champagne. Champagne, by law, comes ONLY from the Champagne region of France; so it’s rare, and priced accordingly. That swill Korbell is methode Champanoise, but NOT Champagne. Second, Champaign comes in different varieties of sweetness, starting with Sec (very sweet, soda pop for children) and ending with Brut (pronounced “brut” and NOT “brute,” it means “dry” and is meant for adults). Third, if, as Mickey asserts, your tastebuds can’t discern differences between bubbly wines after only ONE GLASS of bubbly wine, your tastebuds need Viagra, you are a peasant, or both.

Just HAD to say that.