1000 Things I Learned... - Skyline (2010) Discussion

[–] mic7440 13 years ago

41. Your girlfriend will be more angry with you for NOT telling her about the huge job offer in LA that you had no idea about than for replying with an "oh *beep* to her "I'm late" announcement.

42. Always fight giant floating aliens head on. They won't think to use one of their 50 tentacles to sneak up behind you...

43. If you're the main character, your brain will unexplainably be red instead of blue like the supporting cast in your life.

44. Just because aliens have giant floating indestructible self-repairing ships that are capable of traveling from places we can't even see, while transporting their entire army along with the tech to extricate human brains DOES NOT automatically mean that they have infrared or body heat signature tech like our army does...therefore you can hide behind anything from counters to bed sheets.

45. Yell at your life long best friend for coming out of his own bathroom AFTER he just brought you out to his penthouse in LA on his dime, partied with you all day, and offered you the career of a lifetime...he'll just hold his head down in shame, pout his lips, and walk away looking sad.

46. Go ahead and turn down the hott brunette who wants to bang you even tho you already been banging her and even took pics of it. And when you turn her down, make sure to look like you're taking the better road.

47. Give your girlfriend the camera with evidence that you been cheating on her and let her look through it. Hopefully she won't notice anything suspicious...like you kissing on her assistant's neck.

48. Aliens are attacking. Let's all argue over who agrees with who. No need to sit down and construct a solid plan of survival for my pregnant girlfriend.

49. Let's go out yet again and try to escape the aliens who have proven that they are everywhere. And let's leave all the kitchen knives in the kitchen, hopefully we won't need them.

50. Aliens are attacking. I've been arguing with the only person who has some sense of survival. Hey, it's my turn to offer a suggestion. I know I know, let's try to make it to the boats again.

52. Aliens are attacking and I'm stuck in a penthouse with some jerk, his pregged g/f and a hott blonde...I know, I'll stay up and keep watch and I'll ask the jerk to have my back instead of trying to convince the hott blonde to keep watch with me so I can hopefully bang her before I die...

51. Keep your girlfriend or wife pregnant. Apparently that's the only thing about her that's gonna be an advantage if aliens attack.

52. Women, if you ain't knocked up you're gonna be useless and die a horrible death...sorry.

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[–] mic7440 13 years ago

53. All black men regardless of their lot in life have a firearm stashed somewhere that nobody knows about.

54. When the armed black man shows up to save you during an alien invasion, you should look at the gun, act startled and slightly uncomfortable and say "why do you have a gun?" instead of thanking your lucky stars that you have a weapon to fight with.

55. Aliens can't hear, therefore it is perfectly safe to breathe heavily and loudly shush others while ducking behind a counter.

56. Aliens will always be crude looking terrifying beasts that have no way of communicating with us despite all their advanced weaponry and tech.

57. Aliens haven't learned how to blend in and be inconspicuous...therefore, there will always be a fight that they may possibly lose.

58. Aliens have digestive tracts that go straight to their brains...so just make sure you have a red brain so you can take over their body when they eat it.

59. When the air force attacks, you will just so happen to be in the same city...and your tv screen will have excellent footage of the entire ordeal.

60. Yell "everybody get down" AFTER the nuke hits...no need to warn people beforehand.

61. Nuclear fallout, radiation, and impact shock is a myth...you should be fine in seconds.

62. The car you're driving can be smashed by a giant alien foot and you can be dropped out of the car from 10 ft and still have the wits and endurance to run, dodge, and roll while they attack you...

63. Tell your friend to get the H E double hockey sticks outta they way while you're running from an alien...

64. Bang the hott blonde as soon as the opportunity presents itself while you're still alive...

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[–] hillbillyfisherman 13 years ago

65. If you're an alien species depending on your first primary attack being people seeing your glowing blue light, attack at 4 am, I'm sure people will be awake.

66. Inexplicably be awake at 4 am conveniently enough to get abducted by the worst first strike scenario ever

67. Aliens are all over this roof, let's run in circles screaming

68. When in doubt, use a fire axe

69. Show no shame for robbing dozens of blockbuster films blind of their original creature design and integral plot points.

"Is it dead?"-David Della Rocco

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[–] DataGrab 13 years ago

70. It's good to listen to other people's advice about this movie being too crap.

A ship sank at the end of the movie Titanic

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[–] aoc777 13 years ago

Thank you for the good advice; when my alien overlords come to harvest brains, I think I will advise them to go for dolphins and whales, because should they absorb the brains of the script writers of Skyline by accident - oh the inhumanity!

71. Lot's of admittedly very good effects make up for a lack of story. If only R. Emmerich knew this...

72. Being exposed to an alien light source will get you possessed.

73. A brick and fists do more damage than an axe.

74. A gas explosion (stove top) is more effective than a bazooka.

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[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] lovedawn 12 years ago

RE #59 - the telescope in the apartment was connected to the TV, that's where the footage came from.

SPAZZTIC BLURR!!!

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[–] ollyoxenfree1997 10 years ago

Did I really need the movie to tell me #64? :p

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[–] fulci_fan2000 13 years ago

You guys need to lighten up. It's only a movie, it's only a movie. What did you expect from this kind of film? Logic?

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[–] hillbillyfisherman 13 years ago

_______________________________________________________________________________
You guys need to lighten up. It's only a movie, it's only a movie. What did you expect from this kind of film? Logic?
_______________________________________________________________________________

No, I expected Watchability.
"Is it dead?"-David Della Rocco

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[–] baue1446 13 years ago

75. Having your GF find pictures of you making out with your assistant that NEVER happened in the movie (theatrical release any way)

76. Aliens continuously look for people in a hotel over and over and over again in the desperate attempt to find a person once and a while instead of moving on to the millions of suburbs to be found all over the country

77. Military leaders feel that a few land troops armed with bazookas and m16s on a random un secure hotel roof will be more effective than a nuclear weapon and an efficient use of the remaining military personal left on earth

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[–] icaptainchaos 13 years ago

78. The two "heroes" get sucked up to the mothership i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.y.....s.l.o.w.l.y, whereas everyone else gets the really fast suck ....

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[–] kitsune2222 13 years ago

79. Dont stare into bright light, or you will develop "varicose veins"

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[–] Marty0110 13 years ago

80. A long, romantic, sensual kiss is possible when being sucked by giant alien ship although others are somersaulting uncontrollably toward its centre at the speed of sound.

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[–] kaliphornia_dreemin 13 years ago

81. Apparently, some aliens look like man-eating vaginas.

82. Aliens don't appreciate the value of fast, expensive cars.

83. Aliens are color blind. Red brain? Eh, it's still a brain, I guess.

84. Eric Balfour isn't any better looking as an alien.

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[–] morph85 13 years ago

85. If you wake up in the middle of the night and you see an inexplicably bright blue light you'll think it's morning.

86. If aliens try to hypnotize you and you manage to escape twice, you'll get superhuman strength as a bonus.

87. After an alien mother-ship kidnaps some hundred thousand (or few million) people it will take its time and go out of its way to suck out a couple more.

88. Space traveling aliens don't have any fire power whatsoever, only a blue bright light and muscle force.

89. The only guy with survival instincts will finally decide to commit suicide if the hot blonde next to him will die.

90. If you decide to blow yourself up using the gas in the kitchen be sure to have a cigarette in your mouth for dramatic effect.

91. If aliens take over your town and you're stupid enough to try and make a run for it, be sure that you'll meet other idiots like you who thought to do the same thing.

92. If the father of your unborn baby is not ready to start a family yet be sure to follow him in his suicide mission even if you think it's a stupid idea.

93. LA hotshots will always ride in an alien invaded city in style.

94. If aliens take over a huge city and kidnap everybody in sight be sure you can outsmart them by driving your way to the harbor in a convoy.

95. If hiding can save your life, make a run for it!

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[–] bagpipr64 13 years ago

96. If you want to see something that's right outside the window, use a telescope that's designed to study the cosmos.

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[–] aoc777 13 years ago

96. Even a movie like this gem is hard pressed to deliver 1000 Things to learn ...

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[–] Dismissed 13 years ago

Apparently, some aliens look like man-eating vaginas.

Lol lol...

Wow, that was *beep* gold!

This was just my take on things, and I like to take it all.

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[–] NovocastrianUK 13 years ago

You can easily fool an Alien by pretending to light your cigarette when actually you are causing a huge gas explosion... eventually.

When running from peril, hold hands, you'll be able to run much quicker.

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[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] Dismissed 13 years ago

No... You lighten up.. Even the best movies have their "What the *beep* and "No way in hell" moments. We're just having fun with the "You dumbass"-ness of this one. =)

I'm rather indifferent in my feeling towards the film. It was a decent way to waste an afternoon. But, I have no interest in seeing it again.

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[–] ted2112 13 years ago

#99. Apparently there IS such a thing as aliens, but there's NO such thing as a black woman.

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[–] mic7440 13 years ago

Actually, there was no black woman stupid enough to be part of this movie...haha!!

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[–] greyspider 13 years ago

100. when you try to do something dirty with your sexy assistant, make sure that you do it in the tiniest toilet in the house, despite you have an entire penthouse, and make sure that you let her photo it with a giant SLR camera just in case you still think there is too much room inside and operating it is not heavy at all.

101. during alien invasion, make sure that you offer others for help after they have loaded everything (just two suitcases) inside their car, it makes you a better human being

102. during alien invasion, after you have loaded your suitcases inside your car, you stay there with all the car doors open till the others come back, and scream with them for the effect

103. apparently, the human beings inside the giant alien mothership not only can survive a nuclear attack, but still alive and screaming...with their brains intact

104. if you see a fighter crashing towards you at 400mph, stay exactly where you are, and you know it will somehow flip over and hit the alien behind you, killing it and splash only half a dozen debris around you, you wont even notice anything

105. no matter which direction you run, there will ALWAYS an alien waiting for you, but when you look in the telescope, there is only a handful running around in the city streets

106. and remind the guy that is opening the door, to open the door

107. and after you run in slow motion in a giant circle, make sure you go back to exactly where you started

108. make sure that the men do all the watching and stay up all night, let the women sleep, they surely dont know how to keep a safety watch

109. the white light can only suck you in if you face it

110. it is very easy to unplug a washing machine in a fully fitted kitchen without any tools and within a few seconds

111. aliens just have to get the 2 main characters' brain, the entire LA population is not enough and they even send the mothership to suck up these two

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[–] rickb69 9 years ago

111. aliens just have to get the 2 main characters' brain, the entire LA population is not enough and they even send the mothership to suck up these two

Not enough brains in the entire LA population (O.J. Simpson, Rodney King incident and Raiders to name a few.)

I have 2 sets of twin boys, Pete & Repete and Mark & Remarkable

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[–] sydnee_man 13 years ago

lol! I guess I'm not the only one who noticed that...

Follow me on twitter @sydsmoviepicks

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[–] Jimothy3 13 years ago

112. Fighter jets can shoot straight at you and not hit you, instead hitting what's behind you, for example a big alien monster.

113. Newsreaders are most in danger during alien invasions.

114. It can take up 2 days for aliens to finally pluck up the courage to properly inspect buildings that they've been circling in all that time.

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[–] zimmyis 13 years ago

115. If making a good film ever crossed your mind... DON'T DO IT! Make this instead, there's monies to be made.

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[–] SpenHard 13 years ago

116. Despite inventing this blue light technology, the aliens haven't yet discovered thermal heat detection yet, so you'll have no problem hiding behind the kitchen unit - or behind a blind in fact.

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[–] lorddeseiz 13 years ago

117. Statue of liberty is standing in LA

118. No need to worry folks, the fully automated alien vessels use human brains, so they already doomed before they even started.

119. Aliens dont like Ferraris.

120. B2 Stealth bombers are insane agile aircraft and can defy any laws of gravity while manouvering between an armada of alien vessels.

121. Only special effects are needed to make a movie.

122. I thought Dakota Fanning was the most annoying screamer in an alien invasion movie. Thought me good, it can be alot worse.

123. Ok guys, our country is overrun by aliens. We will send in the troops ... land 3 snipers on a building after nuking the place.

124. While watching trough a telescope into mindcontrolling light has no effect ... unless your a dumb blonde. Maybe it acts on them as an amplifier ... how did she know how to use it anyway sorry ladies, love ya too.

125. Human brains are bigger then their heads ... very intresting.

126. i could go on forever with this *beep*

_____________________
Any last words ?
Shut the *beep* up
-Mutant Chronicles-

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[–] dont_diss_dave 13 years ago

127. When you meet a giant alien for the first time you'll think you can kill it simply by shooting it with a beretta. LOL, what a fuuking donkey. Fail

"I told you it's not fat, it's power!"

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[–] burnplant 13 years ago

128. If your building has multiple elevators, only use them to go back and forth between unsafe, exposed locatonsi on the ground and up high in the building. Don't hide out in the elevator or the elevator shaft, stay by the huge windows and put up a bed sheet.

129. Even though all of humanity is close to being wiped out and you barely survived that last 24 hrs, remember to be a total bitch if one of a handful of the other people still alive lights up a smoke anywhere near your peanut-sized fetus. Be extra bitchy if she just watched her boyfriend get eaten alive...

130. Stay away from any dark closets in your apartment. Stay near the windows people, I can't stress that enough.

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[–] lovedawn 12 years ago

RE #117 - that was a shot of New York, idiot. There were several shots of other cities showing this was happening globally.

SPAZZTIC BLURR!!!

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[–] racket97 13 years ago

can't forget that a nuclear bomb goes off outside, shockwaves which normally pass over an entire country only pass a few blocks, and all you have to do is duck and you'll be safe in a high rise apartment building.

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[–] lorddeseiz 12 years ago

Maybe it was a handgun nuke ... thingy.
_____________________
Any last words ?
Shut the *beep* up
-Mutant Chronicles-

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[–] sweetpeajrt 13 years ago

Best thread ever! Mine were taken #81 & #130 :( They really did look like giant va-jay-jays.

You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

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[–] Scorchy-3 13 years ago

131. When surrounded by aliens intent on eating your brains, be sure to run up to the roof, then back down, then up again, then down again and so on, because, well, cardio exercise is important!

132. During a massive alien offensive, the sum total of the world’s counter attack will be 3 guys in a helicopter defending a strategically insignificant residential tower block.

133. A fighter pilot will sacrifice himself to save two people instead of concentrating on his actual mission.

134. At no point will an alien look at a bright orange glowing brain and go, “Hey Cedric, taste this and see if it’s off”

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[–] PimpHandStrong 13 years ago

135. Organic lifeforms and ships apparently made out of a metal-like exterior can survive a nuclear blast in a foreign atmosphere.

136. A highrise building a couple miles away from a nuclear blast will sustain no damage, and the people inside will be unaffected by the blast radius and radiation.

137. Despite bringing ships only to major cities, TV and internet will be shut down around the entire planet within hours.

138. When bonding together for survival, you will hate everyone around you and not speak to each other.

139. When aliens invade the planet, you won't discuss it in any detail over the course of a couple days.

140. Super advanced lifeforms capable of traveling the speed of light and being indestructible to nuclear attack need our brains to survive.

141. Thousands of monstrous beasts the size of the Cloverfield monster are easily transported through the galaxy.

142. Special effects guys live like hip-hop stars in penthouse suites and are famous to the general public.

143. Super advanced lifeforms' primary weapon actually makes their enemies stronger if they survive it.

144. Super advanced lifeforms could not catch you if you make it to water.

145. Within hours of an alien attack, the entire city's infrastructure is gone despite no explosive detonations by the aliens.

146. The human race can be defeated within a day.

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[–] tblackwo 13 years ago

147. You can take a shat and film the toilet bowl, and people will still make comments like 'great film' 'best ending I've ever seen' 'this film needs a sequel'.....

Oh but you called it a 'film' not a 'movie' so you must know what you're talking about.

You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now its my turn - Frank White

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[–] alanhudson-1 13 years ago

148. Super advanced alien civilisations intent on wiping out the human race will develop amazing technologies enabling them to travel vast distances across the Universe, but they won't find the time to invent clothing.

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[–] lorddeseiz 13 years ago

139. When aliens invade the planet, you won't discuss it in any detail over the course of a couple days.

What and actually have to write stuff in the script other then "AAAAAAAAAHH" and "please halp us" What planet are yu from really

_____________________
Any last words ?
Shut the *beep* up
-Mutant Chronicles-

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