I know most of you are like myself and have watched many of the episodes several times. Are there any lines that make you laugh every time you hear them even though you know it's coming? {Phrasing}
In Diversity Hire after Archer comments that Conway Stern is good at witty rejoinders and Lana says "Well crawl on over there and blow him" I literally every time.
What y'all got?
Tell me, if you kill her, who's gonna bear our Martian children? Huh? Trish?
The way Cranston delivers "Trish?" bring me to tears every time.
Sooo many things come to mind, like my signature. I'll narrow it down:
Basically every line of dialogue from Malory: If I cared about what you did over the weekend I would put a shot gun between my feet and pull the trigger with my toes.
"Look at me! Chopping ice for a Tom Collins like a field hand."
"So all ashore from the S.S. Date Rape!"
"The classic Irish man's dilemma: Do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?"
This one from Ray in my favorite episode Lo Scandalo: "No one cares Figgus you're only here to round out the numbers."
And my signature is Slater's
He's had the clap so many times it's more like an applause
There's about 1000 more I could list, the dialogue on this show has always been so sharp.
Malory: Pam, are you eavesdropping?
Pam: No, we can hear you fine out here!
Krieger: On second thought I'd very much like to be taken alive. Just let me clear the old browser history. *Gets tackled by two FBI agents*
Malory: Our tax dollars hard at work. Well, not mine obviously.
Archer to Lucas Troy:
"Remember that time in the DR, we got *beep* on MamaJuana"
Lana: Do you even still get hangovers?
Archer: No, normally no, but I drank about 2 gallons of mamajuanas this afternoon. I was, uh, playing dominoes with a Dominican bike gang. Or was it mahjong?
Malory Archer: But wait, Krieger, the body, the bathroom, how did you...
Doctor Krieger: Shhhhhhhhhhhh... you do not want to know. Although you probably want to go wash your lips.
Dr. Krieger's response to the idea of Barry & Ray having a robot fight in the streets of New York
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-bup STOP! My penis can only get so erect.”
From "Nellis":
Cheryl: "What's Area 51?
Pam: "What's Area...are you $hitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51."
Archer: "Yeah, even me and I didn't even know they made shoes out of cornbread." (a reference to Archer's confusion as to what Hushpuppies are)
Krieger: (laughing) She slapped you so hard you died!
shareAfter about the 20th time, Cheryl's "OUTLAW COUNTRY" started to crack me up.
"Kids in the backseat may cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat may cause kids."
"Danny, Danny, stop running. We gotta keep that heart rate down buddy. Danny!"
"Why was I dressed as Hitler?"
"Well hurry it up alright? All I've had today is like six gummy bears and some Scotch."
There's just so many brilliant lines in this show.
'And you can't p*ss on hospitality, I WON'T ALLOW IT!'
^That is by far my most favorite line in this show. It cracks me up every time!
shareIf I want a grandchild I'll scrape all your previous accidents together and knit it a onesie.
shareArcher: How dirty do you think my junk is?
Mallory: As dirty as if it were made out of dirt, dragged through some other dirt, and then Pig-Pen came along and kicked it with his dirty feet!
Or my isn't name...
"Holy sh@t snacks" this show makes me laugh.
And the thing about the size of Lana's hands... even when she's fighting a guy in a clown suit, he can't help blurting out a comment on how big they are.
Pretty much everything on this show is quotable. Since it hasn't been mentioned yet, I crack up every time Cyril has a gun and unleashes his battle cry, "Suuppressiiing Fiire!" if only because I know Acher, Ray, or Lana are about to be shot on accident, hahaha.
shareTwo specific bits ALWAYS get me rolling, both of them from the much-hated Archer Vice:
1. Palace Intrigue, Pt 1
Cyril: Why do we always have to share a room?
Ray: The Sinister gay cabal, Cyril. You have fallen victim to the sinister gay cabal.
Cyril: Okay, y'know--
Ray: --I don't know why we always get stuck together. But I kinda don't mind it.
Cyril: Hm. Actually, I don't either now that I think--
Ray: --QUEEEEEEEEEEEER!!
2. The Rules of Extraction
[Cyril cocks the hammer on his gun]
Cyril: We are NOT leaving Ray!
Archer: What do you think you're doing?
Cyril: I'm... Taking command!
[Laughter]
Cyril: Hey, I'm serious.
Archer: Oh, my God... Okay that's really funny. Thank Cyril, I think we needed that.
Ray: Ah, we did. We really really did.
Archer: Aw, man. Now give me the goddamned weapon.
[Takes the gun from Cyril and tousles his hair]
Archer: Ya nut.