MovieChat Forums > Adam (2009) Discussion > 'I can't go if you depend on me'

'I can't go if you depend on me'

posted 15 years ago by Robert_165
53 replies | jump to latest

she would if looked like a real b_itch if she said "i'm not going if you depend upon me" if he had diabetes or had been in wheelchair. The dude couldn't help his condition and that was a total b_itch thing to say/do. If he had been unwell enough to be incapable of beng in a realtioship, it would of been acceptable to stay in NYC, but he was capable of a realtionship, albiet a limited one, but so is any person with a physical disability. People with mental disabilities are always stigmatized it seems, even in a movie where they are not supposed to be being stigmatized.

what a mean thing for her to do and what a horribel ending.

and, yes, I have a disorder similar to aspergers, inn case you're wondering........

I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

[–] rabbyx7 11 years ago

the question is whether beth really loved Adam or not... for me the answer is no... Beth was actually going through a bad breakup just before meeting Adam so its fair to say Adam was sort of a rebound... plus with her Dad sent to jail it was a really tough thing to do... at the end i think it played out well for Adam as he seem to become more self-reliant. for me it was a really realistic ending... Beth going with Adam would've been a cheap happy ending and a really unrealistic one too...

Perfection Doesn't Exist, But You Have to Look For It Anyway

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] dab6 10 years ago

You know, in real-life it depends on the person and the situation. If it was gender reversed, a lot of people would think it sweet that a NT guy looked after an Aspie woman.

Who hasn't been in love with someone who was difficult or in need of indulgence?

[–] coolaree 10 years ago

It's her life. If they were married or in a more serious relationship, everyone would be calling her a bitch.

Maybe she would have looked like more of a bitch to the audience if he was physically disabled or dying, but *beep* that as well. Probably a few people out there who feel obligated as *beep* to look after someone they no longer love. Particularly women with their socially conditioned nurturing instinct.

[–] qpw3141 10 years ago

"socially conditioned <whatever> instinct"

Well, make up your mind.

[–] qpw3141 10 years ago

This is very simple.

She wanted him to need her in the "I need you because I love you and don't want to live without you", sense, not just the "I need you to help me deal with other people sense".

She already knew that he needed he in the second sense and was obviously quite prepared to go with him knowing that. She just needed to believe that he loved her as well.

I found the ending didn't fit with what we saw up to that point, because she clearly did care for immensely, and would once she saw that he had gone away on his own and coped, and thus if he said he needed her it would be because he loved her, they would have got together again - and I don't think it would have taken a year.

[–] George (604) 5 years ago

I don't agree with you on that. I mean he wanted her to be like a mother to him. No woman wants to be like a mother to her boyfriend or husband. Her father said that Adam is more like her child. And he was right. Also she felt that if he wanted her to be like a mother to him, he would never become self sufficient. And by not going, she helped him become self sufficient. And it paid off. Also it improved his attitude. You remember in the end when he offered the girl to help her carry her things? Big improvement. Whereas in the beginning, when he saw Beth straggling to carry her things up the stairs, he didn't lift a finger to help her.