'I can't go if you depend on me'

I kind of agree... I don't have Asperger's so I can't get into Adam's head so much, but I was thinking, why was he good enough to be in a relationship in NY and not when he had to move out of state for work? So what if he needed her? I personally would take it as a compliment to feel needed by someone else. And I truly believe there was more to their relationship that just Adam needing help with stuff in his life. And to me, it said alot about her true feelings for him by NOT going. If she really loved him, she would have learned more about his challenges and wouldn't have been so appalled that he wanted her to go with him for more than just the romantic ideas in her head.

Sometimes I think you're the only thing keeping me sane.

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I disagree. I think this was a wonderful ending. She didn't want to be mainly a caretaker, and the previous very violent episode made her rightly think twice about life with him [although I thought it was odd that someone with such rigidity about his daily life, not to mention financial worries, would smash his own belongings with abandon]. His going alone to Ca. did seem to make him improve and be more independent. How much improvement could be expected is debatable. I thought this was a lovely film.

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. "She should've stayed with him because he is handicapped!"

This is going to be hard for you to understand because you feel entitled to have people take care of you, but most men and women do not want to date people they have to take care of. They want a companion, not somebody who needs a parent.

the ending ruined this movie for me. the entire film was setting us up for a payoff which I thought would be they overcame the odds and would be together. the guy went through a blizzard to get there for her (but that doesn't matter because he "needs" her on some level-- newsflash: all relationships are based on need, and as long as he was willing to go out on a limb and give to her, which he did time after time in that movie, it was more functional than a lot of relationships). Even worse, she ultimately actually goes with her dad's advice and breaks it off-- her dad, who was basically the villain of the story & was the epitome of selfishness. if this ending was truly the intended ending, they should of had some foreshadowing or set up for it, but sorry, I couldn't help but think the bad ending took the place of a happier one to make it more palatable to indy festival crowds.

looking past the adolescent flame war, i think u r all missing a critical piece here.

anytime a girl asks u a question like this the proper answer should be "because i luv u baby. now bring your sweet lil angry a55 over here and give daddy a kiss."

adam was incapable of understanding her. u can sense that he does in fact luv her but still lacked the empathy necessary to understand her in any meaningful way. as if any "sane" person is gonna drop her life and leave her injured mother to follow a selfish dude who can't even say he luvs her. only an emotionally handicapped person could actually believe that she shoulda just packed up and gone with him.

and.. not to take any sides here but i there some emotionally handicapped people who really haven't been expected to grow the f up. seriously, "he can't help it" just doesn't cut it and people who aren't honest about your failings are not your friends. a friend will slap u across the face and tell u to man up.

I wanted the happy ending. I wanted it SO much, but it was in that scene that I really felt how difficult a relationship between these two people would be. I really understood what she was struggling with. Being in a relationship without any support would be very hard, without the emotional interation, without being able to express your feelings and receive comfort or understanding. The challenges of helping Adam through his daily life and of always having to compensate for his social challenges (not too big a deal, just wearisome and constant) would be a lot to choose. They had a very sweet relationship, and it served them both well at the time- I have a feeling that Adam's goodness and innocence, the simple way he viewed his life and world and other people, would have been appealing after her last painful relationship- but when she was asked to move she must have had to look at the future she imagined for herself, and Adam wasn't it. She had every right to not want this long-term.

I wanted her to want that, but I can see, when he couldn't tell her any deeper reason why he wanted her to come with him, when it didn't seem to her like he really loved her (or at least couldn't recognize and express that emotion), that she could clearly see that wouldn't be enough for her. He could probably have learned to say "I love you" like he could learn to take cues (give comfort = hug, laughter = joke)-- but I'm not sure Beth knew if it would mean anything to him, if the feeling was really there, or if he just knew that it's something that she would like to hear, that people in couples would say to one another. I don't know enough about AS, myself, to know what would have been going on inside Adam's head when he said "I love you" to Beth. It was hard to tell what it meant to him. I believe he cared about her, but I don't know how deeply Adam, with his particular issues, felt it.

The line Beth said later, that they would never have a moment when they looked into eachothers eyes and knew exactly how the other was feeling really rang true. With my limited knowledge of AS I wondered if he was just unable to read others emotions or if he actually couldn't feel emotions himself to the same extent that others can. We didn't see him react much to his father's death, when Beth was sad he didn't feel automatic sympathy, he was never particularly happy seeming, much, though he smiled, laughed -- we did see him get angry, overwhelmed, he felt lust, but there weren't many gestures of caring that weren't initiated by Beth, and this would be difficult. I was definately not completely clear what he himself was capable of emotionally.

It makes a lot of sense that this was not an easy decision on her part. I don't think Beth chose not to go to CA for Adam's benefit as much as for herself, which is totally valid! She has every right. What I really wished, at the time, though, was that she would go with him as his friend, and help him figure out where to live, where to buy food, how to get to work -- because she cared about him and didn't want him to have to deal with everything alone -- and then come home after he was settled. They could have been friends. I wish they'd shown Adam getting there and figuring it all out but I guess the important part is that he did manage it in the end- and he looks happy, and the slower pace of CA definately suited him more! he had work and friends and a new routine. In the end, everything worked out fine.

Beth did so well with Adam, being patient and loving and helpful, but it wasn't what she wanted forever. Definately not selfish or wrong, just true and honest, and better not to stretch that on. It was less about taking care of him, I think, because he wasn't an infant, he could take care of himself, or learn to take care of things- it was more the emotional one-sidedness that wouldn't work, and I'd agree. Anyway, this movie was so thought-provoking! This movie is amazing-- not-quite-as-perfect happy ending not wishstanding.