MovieChat Forums > Surrogates (2009) Discussion > How to *properly* watch a movie

How to properly watch a movie

posted 15 years ago by canefaitrien
204 replies | jump to latest

While Surrogates wasn't exactly an astoundingly groundbreaking film, it was still, in all respects, topnotch entertainment; most especially if you know how to "lose yourself" when watching movies - a skill that, surprisingly, MOST moviegoers do not have.

It is because of this reason that I'm writing this topic.

Surrogates could've been great for me; if not for the fact that I was surrounded by indecent and uncultured people throughout the entire movie. Just how many times must promotional movie materials (Kung Fu Panda, Ice Age, etc.) remind the audience to put their phones on silent mode? Or to not talk during suspenseful scenes? Or TO NOT ANSWER A DAMN PHONE DURING THE MOVIE?

My friends, I hope you assist me in compiling this short list and spreading it throughout IMDB. Let the indecency stop. Help me help you have a better movie experience (so to speak).

Here are some ground rules that needs to be observed:

RULE 1: You only have ONE (1) chance to FULLY experience everything the movie has to offer. After that, you'll no longer be surprised, thrilled, astounded, dumbfounded, aghast with mystery or excitement about it since you've already seen it; henceforth, your brain already have vague collections of it. In the name of all that is holy, DO NOT RUIN THAT ONE CHANCE.

RULE 2: Movies are products of an advanced civilization. By all means, BE CIVILIZED. Really, some people are just.... GHA!!!!

RULE 3: If someone scolds or chides you, simply offer your apology and DO NOT REACT AGGRESSIVELY. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. In all my years of watching movies, some people unbelievably still have the nerve to be angry after being told to stop talking with their phones. My goodness.

RULE 4: Turn off your cellphone. Otherwise, put it on silent mode. We don't care about your fancy ring tone or your Mom calling you because you snuck out. Seriously, how many must the theater tell you to do that?

RULE 5: While I have nothing against babies, please do not bring them to the cinema. There's nothing more annoying than a baby crying right in the middle of a fight scene or a serial killer chase.

RULE 6: Again, I have nothing against autistic and special children. But for the love of Athena! Please, please, please! Do us all a favor and DO NOT bring them to the cinema, IF they have aggressive or wild tendencies. I once encountered a family who brought a little autistic girl with them WHO LITERALLY THREW A SHOE TO ANOTHER PERSON a few seats up front. Poor guy.

NOTE: I know it may seem mean, or otherwise, inhuman of me to deny babies and special children the privilege of watching movies. If so, I'm humbly sorry. But that's just the way it should be.

RULE 7: STOP TALKING. In fact, DON'T TALK, at all, unless someone's dying. If you have to talk, try doing so with the least amount of disturbance.

RULE 8: DO NOT EXPLAIN or even DISCUSS THE MOVIE D-U-R-I-N-G the movie. Because, people usually do that during drinking sessions, sleepovers, after-sex, picnics or over the internet. I don't care if you already knew who the killer was or that Optimus Prime is your favorite character. You can tell me everything AFTER THE MOVIE.

RULE 9: If you're gonna read a text message, or otherwise, check the time through your phone, PLEASE DO SO WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF DISTURBANCE. DO NOT RAISE YOUR PHONE IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE. I don't care if your crush sent you hugs and kisses or if your Dad just told you he'd just recently deposited your yearly allowance. Sheesh. Imagine a scene where our heroine goes into a dark room - thence, making the entire theater dark - AND THEN A BRIGHTLY-LIT CELLPHONE FLASHES RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! DAMMIT!

RULE 10: DO NOT exaggerate your laughter. Please. Do this, only if you're watching one of the "[Blank] Movie" Franchises (i.e. Date Movie, Superhero Movie) or the "Rip-Offs" Franchises (i.e. Meet the Spartans)

RULE 11: DO NOT PREEMPT THE MOVIE. If you know what the character is going to say, don't yell it out loud or even say it! I don't care if you're trying to look cool in front of your date. If she knows better, she'd dump you right then and there.

RULE 12: If you're going to answer a call, PLEASE GO OUT. It's not like you can't come back in, correct? In the name of ODIN! It's that simple!

RULE 13: If you're watching a movie with friends, please try to minimize the noise. I know what it's like to hang out with a lot of teenagers (because I used to be one, duh?). DO NOT TRY TO GRAB PEOPLE'S ATTENTION. SERIOUSLY, IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOOK COOL.

RULE 14: If you're too stubborn, or too "cool", to even follow these rules, then at least try going to the cinema when there are the least number of possible audiences. Better yet, stick to DVDs and Blu-Rays. Do us all a favor, please.

RULE 15: TO PARENTS - SHUT YOUR KID UP. Don't make others do it. Please. You want your kid to be like Akon? Scold him/her, please!

If you have something more to add, please do so.

If you have any violent reactions, or are otherwise, offended by what I wrote, then I'll gladly accept and answer any and all of your responses.

Peace.

Recently changed ID to "canefaitrien"

[–] steven-davis 10 years ago

This is why I don't go to the cinema anymore.

Just saw this film on bluray with my bro.
I imagine the sound on my setup would be better than a deafening theatre system.
The picture will be better (better blacks than in the cinema).
No annoying pricks talking (well, apart from me occasionally, and it's my house, so good times :)
I can pause it when someone wants to have a wee.
No-one checking their phones, because, you know, we were watching a film!
Cheaper (£2.50 for an ex lovefilmn rental version, compared to £16 at the cinema).
No 20 mins of adverts at the start (although the bluray did have skippable trailers, which took about 30 secs to get through).
The film started at the most convenient time possible.

I think the cinema is the realm of the younger generation now. Enjoy kids.
The electric cinema in Birmingham is fairly civilised, but even they show 20 mins of ads before a film, which I refuse to pay for.

I think part of it is that when you don't know people, you think the worst of them , and they annoy you. In a cinema full of people I knew, I doubt this would be as much of a problem.

Rather enjoyed the film, some nice set pieces, decent story, Bruce Willy actually acted for most of it, decently realised future world, had some care and attention lavished on it. I love a good sci-fi flick :)

Why would I ever bother with a cinema again? The product they sell is just kinda *beep*

[–] azurfale 9 years ago

Theaters need to start doing their part too.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/movie_theater_layout

[–] Newton820 9 years ago

At first I thought trolling, then I thought parady, then I realised you were serious, AND, correct!

If you are trolling then that's an A+.

[–] sinny_koshka 9 years ago

I was watching Troy years ago and this scummer kept chatting to his chavette. I asked him to be quiet and the slapper said "if you want to watch a movie where it is quiet you should rent the the DVD"

I think we just laughed but unfortunately she was right :(

[–] siukong 8 years ago

90% of the time, these are the same sort of people who cut you off in traffic, or bring their fully laden cart to the express line at the grocery store. These people just have no common courtesy, and usually won't respect a polite request to stop (and anything more is risking a situation that's more trouble than it's worth - as referenced in your Rule #3). IMO, the best you can hope for is that they'll give in to that modern human instinct to get sucked into what's showing on a giant screen in front of them and stop whatever annoying behaviour they're doing. Otherwise, you just have to ignore it as best you can.

[–] kya1 8 years ago

I'm sad to say, I've experienced a lot of anti-social behaviour at the cinema too. People generally don't take too kindly to being asked to be quiet, so I try to sit it out these days.

Or I just wait until everybody else has seen the film, and go the cinema on a weekday when it will be quiet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAIJ3Rh5Qxs

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] gotmyorangecrush 8 years ago

If that was really the case, the number of theaters would not be continuing to increase and Hollywood would not be seeing record profits year after year like they have. You still have a very significant percentage of people that have the opinion that movies are vastly superior when seen in theaters. In fact, I myself am one of those people. No home theatre will ever beat seeing a film in theaters. Sure, everyone has the annoying cell phone occurrence here and there, but the vast majority of my movie going experiences are fantastic, which is exactly why I continue to go.

As for your #16-#20, my advice would to be find a new theatre. The multi-plex we have a couple miles away has been up for over 10 years and the place is maintained amazingly well. There isn't any of the stuff your mentioning. And I travel a LOT for my job and have been in theaters all over the country. Most of the large multi-plex theatre's I have visited were also very well maintained.

Still Shooting With Film!

[–] gotmyorangecrush 8 years ago

Look, I get that you can have bad movie going experiences, but that list is just extremely repetitive and wordy. You could sum up pretty much that entire list by stating that people should simply respect other people's movie going experiences by staying quiet and doing what thier supposed to do, watch the movie. Thats all that needs to be said.

Still Shooting With Film!

[–] Kalen-2 8 years ago

There's nothing more annoying than a baby crying

Couldn't agree more.

I'm guessing you're a retired cop that recently shot someone over a cell phone use.

Rule #1 Just stay home. Why are you even there at all if being in a room full of random people bothers you? It's cheaper and you don't have any of the dreaded distractions of other humans breathing and stuff.

This has got to be the dumbest thread. You don't have to watch a movie in a theater. You also don't have to buy popcorn either. Some have even said that you don't have to go to Starbucks to read a book. It's hard to believe, but it's all true.