MovieChat Forums > Surrogates (2009) Discussion > How to *properly* watch a movie

How to properly watch a movie

posted 15 years ago by canefaitrien
204 replies | jump to latest

While Surrogates wasn't exactly an astoundingly groundbreaking film, it was still, in all respects, topnotch entertainment; most especially if you know how to "lose yourself" when watching movies - a skill that, surprisingly, MOST moviegoers do not have.

It is because of this reason that I'm writing this topic.

Surrogates could've been great for me; if not for the fact that I was surrounded by indecent and uncultured people throughout the entire movie. Just how many times must promotional movie materials (Kung Fu Panda, Ice Age, etc.) remind the audience to put their phones on silent mode? Or to not talk during suspenseful scenes? Or TO NOT ANSWER A DAMN PHONE DURING THE MOVIE?

My friends, I hope you assist me in compiling this short list and spreading it throughout IMDB. Let the indecency stop. Help me help you have a better movie experience (so to speak).

Here are some ground rules that needs to be observed:

RULE 1: You only have ONE (1) chance to FULLY experience everything the movie has to offer. After that, you'll no longer be surprised, thrilled, astounded, dumbfounded, aghast with mystery or excitement about it since you've already seen it; henceforth, your brain already have vague collections of it. In the name of all that is holy, DO NOT RUIN THAT ONE CHANCE.

RULE 2: Movies are products of an advanced civilization. By all means, BE CIVILIZED. Really, some people are just.... GHA!!!!

RULE 3: If someone scolds or chides you, simply offer your apology and DO NOT REACT AGGRESSIVELY. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. In all my years of watching movies, some people unbelievably still have the nerve to be angry after being told to stop talking with their phones. My goodness.

RULE 4: Turn off your cellphone. Otherwise, put it on silent mode. We don't care about your fancy ring tone or your Mom calling you because you snuck out. Seriously, how many must the theater tell you to do that?

RULE 5: While I have nothing against babies, please do not bring them to the cinema. There's nothing more annoying than a baby crying right in the middle of a fight scene or a serial killer chase.

RULE 6: Again, I have nothing against autistic and special children. But for the love of Athena! Please, please, please! Do us all a favor and DO NOT bring them to the cinema, IF they have aggressive or wild tendencies. I once encountered a family who brought a little autistic girl with them WHO LITERALLY THREW A SHOE TO ANOTHER PERSON a few seats up front. Poor guy.

NOTE: I know it may seem mean, or otherwise, inhuman of me to deny babies and special children the privilege of watching movies. If so, I'm humbly sorry. But that's just the way it should be.

RULE 7: STOP TALKING. In fact, DON'T TALK, at all, unless someone's dying. If you have to talk, try doing so with the least amount of disturbance.

RULE 8: DO NOT EXPLAIN or even DISCUSS THE MOVIE D-U-R-I-N-G the movie. Because, people usually do that during drinking sessions, sleepovers, after-sex, picnics or over the internet. I don't care if you already knew who the killer was or that Optimus Prime is your favorite character. You can tell me everything AFTER THE MOVIE.

RULE 9: If you're gonna read a text message, or otherwise, check the time through your phone, PLEASE DO SO WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF DISTURBANCE. DO NOT RAISE YOUR PHONE IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE. I don't care if your crush sent you hugs and kisses or if your Dad just told you he'd just recently deposited your yearly allowance. Sheesh. Imagine a scene where our heroine goes into a dark room - thence, making the entire theater dark - AND THEN A BRIGHTLY-LIT CELLPHONE FLASHES RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! DAMMIT!

RULE 10: DO NOT exaggerate your laughter. Please. Do this, only if you're watching one of the "[Blank] Movie" Franchises (i.e. Date Movie, Superhero Movie) or the "Rip-Offs" Franchises (i.e. Meet the Spartans)

RULE 11: DO NOT PREEMPT THE MOVIE. If you know what the character is going to say, don't yell it out loud or even say it! I don't care if you're trying to look cool in front of your date. If she knows better, she'd dump you right then and there.

RULE 12: If you're going to answer a call, PLEASE GO OUT. It's not like you can't come back in, correct? In the name of ODIN! It's that simple!

RULE 13: If you're watching a movie with friends, please try to minimize the noise. I know what it's like to hang out with a lot of teenagers (because I used to be one, duh?). DO NOT TRY TO GRAB PEOPLE'S ATTENTION. SERIOUSLY, IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOOK COOL.

RULE 14: If you're too stubborn, or too "cool", to even follow these rules, then at least try going to the cinema when there are the least number of possible audiences. Better yet, stick to DVDs and Blu-Rays. Do us all a favor, please.

RULE 15: TO PARENTS - SHUT YOUR KID UP. Don't make others do it. Please. You want your kid to be like Akon? Scold him/her, please!

If you have something more to add, please do so.

If you have any violent reactions, or are otherwise, offended by what I wrote, then I'll gladly accept and answer any and all of your responses.

Peace.

Recently changed ID to "canefaitrien"

[–] aza-25 12 years ago

I'm American and live in the UK now, to avoid the majority of these problems I wait until the movie has been out awhile and then go to the cinema to see it, few other people are there and they are usually the like-minded ones who are courteous

[–] daweller 12 years ago

You need to watch a movie called 'God Bless America'
Really cool scene in there about a-holes in movie houses

[–] fortchk 12 years ago

Perhaps I am the other way...went to see the avengers in 3D, and I am a fussy fella...the chap in front of me had put his prescription glasses on to his head, to make way for the 3d glasses..and after i'd seen the the light reflect of his specs once...I couldn't stop seeing it. I asked him politely to place his glasses in a case, and he was perfectly understanding. So a happy ending, but it could have gone so horribly wrong.. ;-)

OneTrueSheep

[–] Ambrosia-I 12 years ago

Don't know if we've got any fans of the Simon Mayo-Mark Kermode film review radio programme on here, but I just had to post their Wittertainment Code of Conduct. It is made up of suggestions by their listeners as to how people should behave at the cinema and it's very funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A-KV_xkrnc

[–] kcdee 12 years ago

Totally agree with you. Australia has some rude people too.
How can this message be spread to those who need to read it? But then they probably wouldn't take any notice.

Just a few other things -
Typo RULE 4: "...how many must the theater tell you to do that?" Should have "times" in there (?)

RULE 5: Here in Sydney, Thursdays are for mums & bubs, which is fair enough. I just avoid going on that day of the week.

RULE 14: I go to the cinema when there are the least amount of people during the week to avoid these types of people, it minimises the problems to an extent. So I hope they don't follow this particular rule. And maybe they like to go when it's crowded to be "seen" even if they are annoying. Who knows?

[–] Gezinha 11 years ago

I don't know if this was mentioned before, but also, the damn 6'3 people that want to sit right in front of you while there are other 4957985 seats empty. Urghhhhh,I am 5'2, and I always try to find seats way in the back, so, that way I will be able to see the screen and not bother anyone behind me, but all the *beep* seems to think it is ok to sit in front of a really short person, so, that way their experience of ruining someone else's movie experience will be complete.

[–] drew1116 11 years ago

I live in south Florida and don't see a ton of movies but have seen many over the years and I frankly recall very little of the behavior described in the OP. I hear "everything" so even the crunching popcorn and rustling of bags annoy me. That is about as far as it goes though. I never hear cell phone rings or answering of calls or annoying kids etc. None of it.

I do recall a funny event while watching Batman in Times Square years ago. When the "Superfeak" song came on, people started dancing in the aisles and there was a lot of talking during the movie, but that is about it.

I also saw Saving Private Ryan in the last row of the Ziegfeld theater in New York. My seat was broken and I was literally sitting on springs. A truly awful seat and quite distant from the screen but enjoyed the film and don't remember any bad behavior in that packed large theater.

As far as choosing seats, I never understood why people would want to sit near me when there are so many empty seats around.

[–] aplantage 11 years ago

“The management respectfully requests that patrons refrain from loud talking during the entertainment, as numerous complaints have been received that audible remarks are disturbing.” (Vitagraph cinema, Broadway, NY, 1914)

"The wrecking of chairs and benches is prohibited.” (Cinema in Mannheim, Germany, 1912)

Keep trying. Perhaps you'll succeed in the next 100 years to reform people's "declining manners"!

[–] dread-knight 11 years ago

Cinemas suck these days, big time.
Some parents bring their little dyslexic kids to adult movies that aren't dubbed into our native language, so the damn parents start reading everything out loud FFS to their kids, gfc.... you end up hearing parents all around while not even syncing their voices, can't think of anything more annoying than that. Should probably only go to movies when it's rather late, so no little kid would be awake and at the cinema.

I still live with my parents and we all do have our own TVs/laptops, watching stuff on our own most of the time, while about a decade ago a TV was something rather rare, bringing people together xD

[–] nikolaj-schmidt-696-353251 10 years ago

after reading all this and much more in the last 1/2-1 year about the US (I guess in this case Canada is also alike) I really don't understand how ANYONE can be so disrespectful to this many people at once... if this ever happened to me (gladly never have) I would have personally thrown that guy/woman out, that is just TO much.

btw I'm danish so that might be why this has never happened to me xP

[–] rams_lakers 10 years ago

My dad told me when they went to see the movie "colors" some random guy started reading the words at the very beginning out loud. Another guy in the audience responded loudly "We can read... n-gger!" My dad thought there would be a riot in the theater!