MovieChat Forums > Elf (2003) Discussion > 100 things I learned from Elf (please, o...

100 things I learned from Elf (please, only nasty and snarky replies)

posted 8 years ago by RuthlessGoat
16 replies | jump to latest

1. A beautiful girl will immediately fall for a retard in yellow tights who is wearing an elf suit
2. Dwarves really, really do not like elves

Goat at Ruthless Reviews

[–] RuthlessGoat 8 years ago

3. Even if you are 6 ft. 3 in., and dressed like a enormous neon-turd, and have the street smarts of a toddler, you can wander around undetected in a major department store all night and make cut-out snowflakes.

Goat at Ruthless Reviews

[–] noe112001 7 years ago

4. At the Macy's North Pole display, there is a locker room & shower within singing distance.
5. A clueless tourist in yellow tights and a dunce cap can wander through Central Park at night without being mugged.

[–] EriMark 7 years ago

6. Don't eat the yellow snow.

[–] TheFatDruidofNacyl 7 years ago

7. You can live on a diet of mostly sugar in the North Pole as a human and not be diabetic.

[–] amsclassic 7 years ago

7b. And only get about 45 min of sleep per night!

[–] JR541 7 years ago

8. Working in the mailroom makes a 26 year old look like he's 50 years old.
9. Some a**holes make their employees work late on Christmas Eve
10. Raccoons are aggressive little sh*ts.

He's taking the knife out of the Cheese!
Do you think he wants some cheese?

[–] misty-63 7 years ago

Being raised as an elf makes you act stupid. (Papa elf didn't act like that!)

Singing as a group makes Santa's sleigh fly.

Felonies can be fun.

[–] Maniac_In_Black 7 years ago

14. Pour maple syrup on everything and annoy everyone to be a real elf

[–] Maniac_In_Black 7 years ago

15. Mail rooms are like Santa's workshop except it smells like beef and cheese and everyone wants to hurt you

[–] Maniac_In_Black 7 years ago

16. Little people are a$$holes

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

17) Candy is one of the 4 food groups.

18) being raised by elves makes you a good badass snowball fighter.

[–] 7 years ago

[deleted]

[–] chilidoggg (13170) 4 years ago

19. Buddy didn't know Jovie was naked in the shower.

[–] BeaSouth (2825) 3 years ago

Yeah and even though there was an earlier scene where he was taking a shower in the North Pole and was naked

[–] chilidoggg (13170) 4 years ago

20. Tomatoes are too vulnerable to be characters in a children's story.

[–] strntz (10934) 3 years ago

21. Even a charming Christmas story about an elf, which includes Mary Steenburgen and Bob Newhart, can be totally stunk up by a typical charmless Will Farrell performance.