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I'm not sure the Colonel - Chris Cooper's character - was gay

posted 6 years ago by melholden (96)
6 replies | jump to latest

First few times I watched it, I assumed he was a closet gay. But he's from the military - where guys are close. I got impression from movie he's now ex-military. He doesn't have relationship with wife, kinda interacts with his son - who he finds out is gay (but not actually), then finds out his neighbor (Spacey) is gay (but not actually) and the two gay neighbors. Seems like he'd have felt like a lonely guy, all those men around him but none for him to feel close to.

No, I'm not sure he was gay - I think he was very hungry to be close to males though - and so he finally succumbed to what he thought every other guy around him was doing to be close to another male.

[–] ADBruno1985 (3340) 6 years ago

I see where you're coming from. Full disclosure I'm a mostly gay guy so that's my viewpoint. I think it's left open to interpretation where anything can work. I always thought more maybe he was bi, and had had a few interactions when he was younger that he wrote off as experimenting, or because women weren't in that environment. Thinking his son was gay-for-pay stirred up recollections for him, and further feelings, and it was a way of trying to understand his son's sexuality, by exploring a bit further himself. I've hooked up with a number of guys who identify as straight. I accept that a little experimentation doesn't make you gay, or even bi, just experimenting. But the guys who were in the military were always the most adamant about how they're straight but it's something they needed to try.

[–] Otter (24464) 6 years ago

I've never been able to accept the old "I'm having sex with you but I'm straight" thing. To me a closet case is a closet case, and I actively avoid the ones who insist they're straight. People who deliberately hold irrational beliefs are usually a bottomless depth of anger and crazy, like the guy in the film.

And if that guy had been straight and lonely and unhappy in his marriage, he'd have been hitting on Annette Benning, not Kevin Spacey.

[–] ADBruno1985 (3340) 6 years ago

Oh for sure, I mean if you're doing it constantly, at least admit that you're bi, but I can understand a few times for the sake of curiosity and figuring it out

I don't know, maybe he'd still go after Kevin Spacey. While I don't agree with it, he could be of the mindset of "It's not cheating if it's with another man"

[–] Otter (24464) 6 years ago

The guy was a little old to be curious and figuring things out, usually, oh, twenty years is enough for a sane man to figure out what gives him a stiffie.

And straight men don't think "It's not cheating if it's with another man", only closet cases.

[–] ADBruno1985 (3340) 6 years ago

True, he is a bit older, but you have to take into account where/when he grew up. I'm much younger than he, was never in the military, and the way I grew up wasn't really "safe" either, so I can only imagine how it'd be for him. And people convince themselves of a lot

[–] melholden (96) 6 years ago

First, thanks for defining yourself as 'mostly gay guy.' I'm a 58 yr old woman who was with three women back in the early 90s, been with no one, male or female, not even a kiss, since about 92. Honestly, it feels so odd to say, but thanks to your openness I'll say it, I don't know WHAT I am. asexual maybe? Happier than most it seems like though, so many people struggle in their intimate relationships.

Anyway, I don't think I'd enjoy a live opera or ballet performance, I've seen a bit on tv or a scene in a movie - just not my thing. But if someone invited me to go, I might give it a try, and find out I was right, just not my thing. Or I might be surprised and like it. Isn't that kind of the same as a person giving same sex a try? They're interested but don't know if they'd like it or not, so they try it. I kinda admire that. The same could be said for foods - there are foods I've never tried, and knowing what they are can even be a turnoff - bull testicles or raw ants or fried grasshoppers as examples. But I'd like to think I might give it a taste test - just because I like it when I'm bold.

I don't think this applies to Chris Cooper's character in the movie - more of a reply to those arguing that if a person tries gay sex, that means they're gay.