This middle aged guy guy has a marriage crisis, a kid attempting suicide and is getting beaten at every turn by a group of dangerous criminals.
He looks like a smoker and coffee drinker.
How is he not getting a heart attack with such constant high level of stress?
Is he a yoga master or just doesn't give a fuck?
The human body is a lot more resilient than we are led to believe. Modern "wisdom" has it that if you are not exercising, meditating, eating free-range food and totally avoiding nicotine and caffeine you are basically a dead man walking, but that's not true at all. You can put yourself through a heck of a lot of abuse before it catches up to you, if indeed it ever does.
shareI think Hannah mastered stress control years ago. I think he's basically like a zen master inside a psychotic cocoon. This guy pushed himself to the limits, backed off 10%, and he's riding that sweet spot forever.
The key is the angst he holds onto. It keeps him sharp, on the edge, where he needs to be.
I am exactly like him. Sharp and reactive and on the edge, propelled by nerves and goodwill and angst.
I don't deal with situations that are half as tragic as him.
Yet, let me tell you my friend that stress and angst has consumed my guts like an acid, physically damaging me like a burned match.
I used to think that it is allright to be that tense and to deal with situations in such a sharp and involved way. Now I just want to defend myself and to not care, but that shit is addictive and difficult to silence once you rely on it for years. But I have to change.
A series of situations like this movie would send me straight to the hospital, Hannah must have used some system to defend, like he secretly did not care about his job or family (very likely, as his wife says).
For Hannah, I think first of all he probably doesn't run this hot *all* the time. Movies are about the biggest crises characters face, I think, anyway, and so we see him on the most harrowing days of his life. Again, just my opinion. I think he cares about his job, but never as much as with Neil. I think he throws himself into his personal life, but I don't think it's always as dramatic as affairs and suicide attempts most of the time.
He cares about his job. Just look at how he puts himself into it. He definitely cares about his family. I think the proof is in his relationship with his step-daughter. We definitely see his softer side there. He might be terrible at romantic relationships, but he's definitely stepping up with the girl. The only proof we'd ever need was that she made the suicide attempt in his room. This was a VERY deliberate choice on her part for the last place she'd ever be in, and she picked Hannah's place. She knew he cared. He cared.
Oh, and for yourself, I'd definitely look into some meditation or something. Seek calm. Those states can be addicting, too, and they'll give you the cache to both pick your battles better and deal with them in your preferred head-on idiom.
I agree, Hannah looks like he cares about his job and his family.
But it is clearly implied that he is a neglecting/crappy husband, and even if he is a good stepdad, it's also clear he takes that role without extreme involvement, it's still HER daughter, and it's almost a surprise to everybody that she likes him more than her.
I think you hit the nail when you said "he throws himself into". That's probably his attitude, give it a good honest shot (job, family, everything) and be passionate about it, but whatever happens, happens. He is not gonna kill himself gnawing over it. Which is similar to what I should do too.
Thank you for the tip, I'll definitely seek more calm.
He's definitely a terrible husband. No argument there.
As to his stepfather role, there's a scene where he and his partner 180 a police car to pick up Lauren and take her where she needs to go. He's shown interrupting his day to help her. If I remember correctly, anyway. Either that, or he's picking her up because he agreed earlier to do that, but either way, he's clearly shown taking time out of his day to take care of his step-daughter. He spends more time at work, sure, but again, I think we're seeing his most intense work week ever, and the message of the movie definitely implies that he's valuable to his step-daughter, and she to him.
He's a hyper-driven character, and he really neglects his relationships, but I'll defend his actions towards Lauren all day and night. It's the one area of his personal life where he seems to have his stuff together.
Yeah, if you're burning your guts out and sacrificing health, the time to make a change is now. Try stuff, see what works. Meditation works for me, although I don't do it as often as I'd like. I don't want to get super-religious or anything, but basically spiritual things are great tools for coping with that kind of stress and training your mind to find inner peace, even if you're in the middle of intense action or total chaos. It won't always work, and maybe it won't work for you, but I'd definitely encourage you to find something that does work.
I'll try meditation, I'm pretty sure lots of this problems stem from ignorant and uncontrolled breathing. Hopefully it will work in the middle of a situation.
Again, thanks.
I must have phrased it wrongly, I also think he is a good stepfather and he is doing his best with her. What I mean is that, maybe because of the distance he feels from her mother, he realizes and is reminded that he is not her father (which he rightfully hates) so there is something that, no matter what, will keep him not as involved as if she was his own.
Kinda like he would gladly do more but it is not his place to (like, he would erase her father from existence and be her fulltime dad- both guys would be happy to, yet it is not possible).
It's partly about breathing, and partly about clarity of mind that lets you kinda "step back" and work through stress. I hope it helps.
I also found reading Viktor Frankl's writings in Man's Search for Meaning have helped me with stuff. Specifically the second half of the book about his logotherapy techniques; I've applied them and it's worked for me.
That does clarify what you mean with Hannah and his relationships, yeah; I understand much better now. Yes, I do think he felt the sting of that barrier there, that non-direct barrier, and I think he also was a bit hurt knowing that, as his relationship with Lauren's mother went down the tubes he might be cutting himself off from Lauren. But, by the same token, I think that as long as Lauren's biological father was being a huge dick, Hannah would continue to step up.
Great, I will check Frankl's book out, speaking the correct way sounds like a great help. Thank you.
Glad I made myself clear with his stepdad position. I agree he is fully into it, but he is also held back by all those other impediments. Which would also add to his stress level (wanting to do more but being blocked).
I insist, he must be doing 30 min of yoga every 2 h, or he's made of iron.
I think he's kinda made of iron and a lot of it is that he isn't under this level of stress all the time. Neil and his crew aren't every-day criminals; they're the top level so Vincent is running a lot hotter than normal.
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