Things I learned from Hard to Kill

If you are out of bullets you should try throwing your gun at your opponent.

When your targets hit the floor in a hallway above you, shoot up the length of the wall high above them so that you don't give them a boo-boo.

When you step up to your target with a knife, just stand there holding the knife until your target can turn round and attack you.

Hold-up thugs with shotguns won't shoot even after you put your neck right up against their gun. They'll let you finish a one-liner before disarming them,

Random Hispanics will readily trade vehicles with you, even if yours is Swiss cheese full of bullet holes.

When talking to a kid about the biggest fish in the ocean, specify you're not talking about a goldfish, in case he thinks you are.

When you wake from a seven year coma, you can speak normally, you have perfect memory and you can use your arms for basic functions.

You can't steal someone's car in Dallas.

Lying to a kid that his father is dead is "awkward."

A black hat and black clothes is appropriate for visiting an elderly person in a retirement home. It won't remind them of their impending death and funeral or anything.



"Worthington, we're being attacked by giant bats!"

When armed attackers approach your hiding place, make sure that you pack your clothes before you flee. Because it's more important than to stay alive and you definitely can't buy some new clothes a bit later.

As a female nurse, you can molest your patients.

You have to write your shopping list in Chinese because the U.S. citizen vendors in Little China don't speak English (and the fact that you know Chinese and your lame story about your martial arts master and the importance of healing over destroying people will make your already horny nurse even more hornier).

Your boss won't mind if you bring some random guy to his fancy place who'll ruin his trees with a stick as a training method.

(It's only about the Hungarian dub) Seagal's kid sounds like he had some mental illness and/or drunk.

As a cop who's working on nasty cases, you don't need to have any kind of security/alarm system in your home.

It's always cool to tell jokes about prison rape. Not to mention that Trent probably still has enough money, underworld connections and influence to buy some protection to himself inside the prison and avoid rape. Or a good lawyer to make a plea bargain.