Things I learned from Hard to Kill

all you need to do to see any patient's chart is wear a stethoscope

every nurse, security guard and physical therapist in a hospital know each other by thier first names

only one person in the u.s.a. can figure out that a politcian is crooked

no one gets sick of a politcian using the same catch phrase for seven years

kelly lebrock was hot, once, long ago

even if you leave notes that you are going to kill someone, you still can claim self-defense

You are right. This movie is pure crap. Even some of Seagal's newer movies are better than this stinker.

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They don't give you the leads, they don't give you the support, they don't give you dick. (Dave Moss)

Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY5pGI0KNjE&NR=1

1. You can get incriminating evidence on tape while the camera is pointed at the ground.

2. "Now you've only got half a mind" is a witty response to shooting somebody in the chest as apposed to the head, which makes more sense.

3. Turning the hall light off makes a whore house red light come on. Where is that red light coming from?

4. A receding hairline can be spray painted back on.

5. To frame an officer as a drug user, put 2 ridiculously large bags of coke is in his house- nobody will do a drug test to check.

6. When you go into a coma you look like Jesus when you come out of it.

7. Nurses like to molest and sexually harass comatose patients.

8. Getting high by burning chunks of weed on acupuncture needles is a must for rehabilitation.

9. Your sexy nurse's boss' house will have a dojo for said weed burning acupuncture.

9. Running while pushing a gurney is harder than you might think, because instead of protecting the patient on it, you crash them into everything in sight.

10. The out-of-nowhere, rapid fire BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG drum sounds that play during closeups of office buildings and after Segal says sh!t like "I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent...to the blood bank." are great for emphasis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Jji78uEW14

11. Hitmen will kill anyone except their main target.

12. Stabbing a tree with a stick is great practice because trees don't fight back.

13. Geraldo with a nose cast is hilarious.

14. Running up a dirt path like an 80 year old woman with her ankles tied together isn't (surprisingly) counterproductive. Special Olympics here we come!

15. Male cameltoe should be displayed in tight acid washed jeans.

16. "Superior attitude. Superior state of mind." should be a bumper sticker.

17. Grenades will appear in your hand to quickly get rid of several bad guys at once.

18. You see your memories in tunnel vision.

19. Thugs will wait outside of a house with huge amplifiers to hear the occupant repeat, out loud, info they just heard over the phone instead of bugging the occupant's phone to listen in on the conversation.

20. Killing a guy by putting him in a sleeper hold is a good way to bond with your long lost son.

21. It is necessary to check behind screens that you can see through for bad guys that might be hiding.

22. When a shotgun is shoved into your mouth blood will suddenly appear smeared around your mouth like lipstick.

23.This movie is actually a comedy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXx3_ykUpfY&feature=related

1. That you can be in a coma for 7 years, come out, and be able to acquire the EXACT same outfit you were wearing when you got shot, and it STILL fits perfectly fine.

2. Your arm won't get blown off when shredded by shotgun from 6ft. away.

3. Hitmen need laser sights on shotguns just to check their accuracy.

4. That instead of picking up your pistol after being shot and continuing firing, yell "mother F'ers!" and engage the enemy in hand to hand combat.

5. When shooting a store clerk, a thug will then put the gun barrel right up under your chin, and start "rough talking" instead of blowing you away immediately.

6. That the foyer of Trent's house is the same one used for the Steel Dragons house in "Rockstar".

7. Nobody can explain to Trent "what's the matter with people?".

8. When you tell Seagal to leave you alone, he'll mindlessly snap your leg by kicking it.

9. Seagal is invincible because he's jacked up coke 1/2 the time.

1) Senator Vernon Trent donation to the Blood Bank is still lacking
2) The real victim of "Hard to Kill" was not the Storm Family or Lt. O'Malley. It is the guy who owned that house Kelly LeBrock was house sitting. Imagine going home from China to see your beautiful Asian Contemporary Home riddled w/ bullets, broken glass & artifacts and dead corrupt cops. Plus the horse he got from his parents is gone. WTF!
3) Taking on a well connected Senator with an Army of Corrupt Cops and Goons is not impossible w/ "Superior Attitude".
4) Death by Necktie can happen and it can make the Corrupt, Good Again.
5) Instead of just blowing the pissed off out for revenge guy away when you're hiding with a sawed off shotgun, always yell the guy's name and easily let him take the gun away from you.
6)"Thats for my Wife. *beep* You and Die" is one of the coolest yet awkward one-liners known to man.
7) It took Mason Storm a few days to mourn his dead wife and nail the hot nurse who sexually harassed you while in a coma.
9)"To be great, you need to learn how to heal. Hurting people is easy" Yet Storm does more hurting than healing.
10) R.I.P. O'Malley!

Make sure your target's wife is dead, but don't double check your target.

Only Seagal can out run death while still in a hospital bed.

If an unknown doctor shows up, never ask him to show his ID. All he has to do is give you a flower and it's all good.

Always give the nurse your work number, which is full of corrupt cops, not your home number. O'Malley gave Andy the number to the police station, not his personal number or his mother's number.

Seagal is going to take you to the blood bank. He likes to help people.

If a man dares you to cut him, he must be crazy. Leave now!

Teenage Sonny was cute.

This was the very first SS film I ever watched. I loved it then and I still love it now.



Clark's Destiny = Superman, Lex Luthor & Lois Lane.

fackin thing is jammed

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