MovieChat Forums > Space Mutiny Discussion > Favorite MST3K Lines

Favorite MST3K Lines

posted 20 years ago by cuttleslug
215 replies | jump to latest

“Fetch me my warrior muumuu.”

“Kalgan, blow me away.

“Shuttlecraft determined to be cute, sir.”

“We now switch live to Spencer’s Gift.

“Okay everybody, look alive…. -Ohhh, sorry Susan…”

“Sounds like someone owns themselves a DX7 keyboard.”

“Did they just hit a poodle?”

“I should show my butt to that guy.”

“Please, don’t use those stairs!”

“Did you sign Sherry’s birthday card?”

“Death by snicker-snag.”

“That’s Doctor Listen I Understand How You Feel.”

“Put your helmet on, we’ll be reaching speeds of 3.”

-and my absolute favorite: “Spiderskank… Spiderskank…”

[–] ptrschckl 20 years ago

I have to include this line, even though it's actually from the movie:
"There wasn't time to go over the 'augzlilerarry' backup systems!"

"She dusted herself with Super Weight Gain powder to attract him."

"What!? Hey, she's dead! She died!"

"Oh, then they T.P.ed him. Nice."

"Graphics by Kenner."

"What is she raising, recycling bins?"

"She's got an awesome package! I never noticed that before."

"Those formica monitors don't get alot of resolution."

"Didja see my butt?"

"Oh, I HATE food!"

"By the way, Kalgan, we need more of you!"

"Ah, Lieutenant Waitress!"

"Yes, Lieutenant Commander Jason."

"I'm late for Roddy McDowell practice."

"Sounds like we're knockin', Tom -- she might need some PREMIUM gas."

"Sounds like Kintaro fell asleep on his keyboard."

".....also taped wool to their faces."

"We don't need more Kalgan."

[–] 20 years ago

[deleted]

[–] kjmcenteeusa 18 years ago

"In the future, there's no shame."

"Metamucil, work your magic."

[–] Fats_Mattumbo 17 years ago

my favorite too

in the future, there is no shame.

[–] RevolutionUtena 20 years ago

My favorite?

"Boo! Boy, you know a retarded jellyfish could make a better movie than this."

[–] SquirrelBot3000 18 years ago

"Rip his band uniform! Then he'll have to pay for it!"

"Oh, he made a bomb out of soap and Paco Rabanne!"

(Kal-Kan kicks flaming cronie out of the way)
"Stupid Bhuddist monk! The Vietnam War's been over for thousands of years!"

Kal-Kan: Is this the man?
Mike: Why no sir, you 'da man!

"Making 'woppits'?"

"Fire 'nipples'?"

Cronie: Make yourselves at home ladies...
Tom: ... there's a ferret cage in the corner if you need one.

(Bellarian lets hair cascade in slow motion)
"Pantene Pro-V."

"I think he skipped some lines."

Ryder: Listen, LADY!
Lea: DOCTOR!
Tom: DOCTOR LADY!

"He has a chest made entirely of baby's bottoms."

"That's a really good suspension!"

Captain Santa Claus: (scornfully) Lea....
Tom: You're getting a lump of coal.
*Lea looks like a yelled-at puppy*

"You know it has to be pointed out that Captain Santa Claus really is failing miserably..."

"Ohup! Railing Kill! All right..."

"Ow-w-www! Why do you hate my groin so much?"

Door: Shhh!
Tom: 'Scuse me.

*lustfully* "I am a right jolly old elf."

And of course, my favorite line, uttered by Dave Ryder himself....
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
*solidly pauses, jumps out of floor buffer, action rolls*

[–] ptrschckl 18 years ago

Where's the "babies' bottoms" line? I don't remember that one.

***That was dirty pool -- using a Freud quote.***

[–] SquirrelBot3000 18 years ago

Oh, it was when the guard was falling for Lea's come-ons.

*unzips speed suit*
Lea: Oooh!
Crow: "I see a sunken chest!"

[–] secretone76 20 years ago

"we can work this out ryder (I love you!)"

"would you care for a cup of tea? (because doing so would be very ironic)"

"...and have concluded that the boilers have not moved for sometime"

"ow! my mask!"

"two for one techno drinks! cool."

"i'd like you to meet my daughter. (we're around the same age)"

"but we were just working on our night moves, sir!"

"you wanna move it along now chunky? we've got a tour coming through!"

"they're having the same party!"

"i'll loosen up the paint, we can scrape later!"

and my personal favorite:

"sting, debbie reynolds, and god!"

[–] garbiedog 20 years ago

"I was just about to do the monster mash"

The hero's girly screams that they impersonate are pretty funny.
"Who took my purse?!"

And the lizard noises when the camera is on the woman who died then reappeared on the screen after her death.

"MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!"

[–] someinsomniac 20 years ago

"In the future, geese will be rocket powered."

*I hereby declare that this signature message belongs to me*

[–] Calgon 20 years ago

Upon Kalgan/Calgon's entrance . . . "Say . . ."

[–] brunicas 16 years ago

Hush Mitch Miller's on!

That'll be Kavorkian.

My breasts are really tender.

I'd like some flowers for my uniq.

Sounds like your knockin' try some premium gas.

Doesn't that basement make the ship a little top heavy?

Mrs. Claus and I have an understanding.

Someone left a cookie out for Santa.

Finally, christmas comes to Santa.

He's going to have so much sex w/your daughter.

Shake it Ralph Machio!

Tell my wife, I love her.

Put the top up! Put the top up!

Bob Johnson...oh wait.

I'm on the edge of my seat! Maybe I should scoot back.

RAILING KILL!

She's got an armadillo in her trousers.

Sting, Debbie Reynolds, and God.

Da do do do, da da da da is all I want to say to you.

They woke the Oakridge boys!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Macarana!

Stevie Nicks Aerobics!

I hate food!

You wanna wrap it up chunky!

So Denise normally does your hair.

Here at the underwear testing facility.

My grandma daughter.

[–] mdith4him 20 years ago

and how can you forget all the nicknames the bots give our brave hero??

"Big McLargeHuge!" --> personal fave

and the girly screams...this ones a classic!

[–] terevaune 20 years ago

Maybe if they hadn't set their phasers to "miss"

It's Gonna Blow' It's gonna blow! - If the first 10 minutes are any indication, the whole movie's gonna blow!

How dare oyu insult my knowledge of ancient dentistry

Killing me will not get you a table any faster sir

[–] sonydude32 20 years ago

Wall mounted keyboards, it must be THE FUTURE!

The human born without a brain stem.

Passed on from editor to editor in a desperate attempt to save it.

Special effects by Industrial Light and Morons.

Damn AOL.

Shake it Ralph Macchio!

Don't you just hate it when the chapherones dance with the kids?

It's real fruit flavor.

See these balls? Magic, huh.

Pantyhose are itchy! Pantyhose are itchy! Itchy, itchy, itchy!

Come on, Metamucil, work your magic!

Ooohhh! Why do you hate my groin so much?

Amazingly Idiotic Productions.

And our brave hero roasts the disabled man.

Stay together cheeks! Stay together cheeks!

Ohh, send my mask to mother. Ugh.

Ugh! Quick, get me a Zantac!

That line really made me think ... about how much better a root canal would be than this movie!

Haven't you heard of the "getting some" clause?

Well, they rented a pneumatic catapult and, damn it, they're gonna use it.

This is quite possibly the best MST3K episode. You just can't stop laughing, even after you've seen it a few times. - Reinhart

[–] cowmageddon 20 years ago

" I will inflate you to thirtyfive pounds."
" I wish that I had Jesse's girl!!!!!! "

[–] Smells_Like_Cheese 20 years ago

(Calgon is on video tape and talking to Janson)
"Janson, I have something to show you"
(He shows Lea)
"I've got your mother!"

"Ah! Railing Kill!"

"I tell you one thing, this movie sure does enjoy tossing Canadians around"

"They rented a catapolt, and dammit, they're going to use it!"

"You know in their silliest moments, the three stooges never reached this level of indignity?"

"You know many people have compaired this to the chariot scene in Ben Hur? Yeah, they usually say, 'Ben Hur' was really good, this movie totally sucked"

"Why do they keep missing the slow giant white thing?"

"Oh, watch the groin! Ow! Watch the groin"

(Calgon laughs-again for the 50th time)
"Oh, well, I thought it was funny!"

God, I could go on and on. This was one of the best episodes.

OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES!

[–] knightm7 19 years ago

"Big McLargeHuge!" had me coughing for two minutes.
Also, Tom Servo says "Bob Johnson! No, Wait."

Well, well, well. . . Well, well, well. . .

[–] nak77 18 years ago

Thick McRunfast

Smoke Manmuscle

Dirk Hardpeck

[–] pcqgod 20 years ago

She rocked us like a hurricane, sir!

[–] sonydude32 20 years ago

Kalgan: "Is this the man?"

Mike Nelson: Why, no. You da man!

- Reinhart

[–] polkaspots 20 years ago

"Big McLargeHuge"

"Damn Sweedish* ergonomic chairs"

"The best boy they could get was Fuzzy Skinner?"

*Urgh.. I forgot if the ergonomic chair line was Spanish or Sweedish...

[–] sonydude32 19 years ago

It's Sweedish. You were right the first time.

"Damn Sweedish ergonomic chairs, how can you sit comfortably in these things?" - Reinhart

"I'll loosen the paint, we can scrape later!"

[–] OrionCA 18 years ago

NOBODY expects the Spanish Ergonomic Chair!

[–] B-MovieScreamQueen 18 years ago

That's funny. I love Monty Python just as much as MST3K.

[–] SquirrelBot3000 18 years ago

..actually its "damn Swedish Ergonomic Chairs! I can never figure how to sit comfortably in them!"

[–] hkhuffstutler 15 years ago

love you for that!

[–] Jedi TC 20 years ago

After that one girl died and she's in the next scene

"It was nice of you to give that dead girl a chance"

With the music going like someone is pressing on a keyboard:

"The guy from Kataro(spelling) fell asleep on his keyboard"

[–] sonydude32 19 years ago

"Okay, now look alive everybody, uh ... sorry Susan."

- Reinhart

[–] midnightanimal 19 years ago

That's 'Kitaro'. And this surely is one of the best mst3k-episodes! I watched this four times in 24 hrs as soon as i got the disk. Just had few beers in between. And during...
www.viidakko.com/mst3k/ <-i have my own tribute to this 'oh-darn-just-the-funniest-show-ever'. IN FINNISH, but the quotes are in eng.

[–] Jedi TC 20 years ago

Also when the girl is trying to seduce the guard

"You're lucky the smart guard is on vacation"
and
"usually when girls do this they're trying to escape"