The scene next to the World War I monument left me a bit puzzled. I only assumed I knew what he meant because of the context of the film. But how did Oliver understand? Was it because he also liked him? Am I missing something?
shareI think he probably just had suspicions based on how Elio was acting, and their version of flirting was sort of to show off their intellect. Elio was also wanting to go with him everywhere and catching glances and certain behaviors. I think Oliver also felt the same way and could read into that body language and tone and could probably infer what he was talking about.
shareI was confused about this as well, didn't really understand how anything could be inferred by what he was saying, except maybe that he was a virgin. It's a weird scene.
shareI think it was meant to show the distance between them due to one being a young man and one being an adult. Elio is trying to confess his feelings and at first it seems the more he says the more distance there is as Oliver walks round on the other side. The camera also lingers from a distance instead of giving us intimate reaction shots so you don't really get a cue as to how it will play out. Oliver's tone is also quite hostile at first but Elio doesn't back down and by the time they walk round Oliver is torn and conflicted as he looks around nervously. The distance between them has closed and they are together again because Elio had he balls to confess. Then when he speaks his tone has softened and asks if Elio is saying what he thinks he is saying. At this point Elio can't even talk and nods like a child. Oliver gives him a soft poke and walks off as he is still conflicted, his previous confident wall has been deflated. The nervous energy is abundant and is something we can all relate to.
Oliver chides him and says such things can never be spoken about so that kind of justifies why things are cryptic. It was 1983 and the tolerance of Elio's family wasn't the norm.
Oliver had previously signalled to him at volleyball and Elio clearly rebuffed him. After that, Oliver backed the hell off and avoided him as he felt he did something wrong. So now only Elio could move things forward (had the courage to do so) and he had clearly been stewing over it. His attraction overcame any doubts and resulted in their awkward intellectual sparring and courtship.