People say the family "drove him to be this way" but I don't know. Yeah, his dad beat him and they all cover it up, but I mean... a little girl just died. And while Danny clearly didn't want that to happen, he shouldn't have taken her out to sea without adult supervision (just as John yelled to him at the time). Obviously, this doesn't excuse the father beating him; but it certainly adds context and makes the father's actions understandable (while not justified). Ditto with the family covering it up. It's not like this was habitual behavior that indicated their true villainy; it was a highly emotional, isolated, uncommon situation where they made poor, emotionally-charged decisions.
As far as the family being "emotionally abusive" to Danny later on, I'm unsure of what specifically they were doing that was so vile. It seems like most of what we saw with them treating him as an outsider was AFTER Danny was on drugs, being involved in shady situations, mooching off everyone, showing no signs of progressing his life, and generally acting like a creep. If anyone behaves like that, people are going to treat them like that. It's not surprising they hesitate to put him in the will, give him positions of responsibility, or want him around.
Yet it felt like they were trying to help and get along with him anyway later. John, especially. And all Danny seemed interested in was ungratefully holding onto this grudge, actively trying to ruin all their lives as revenge (this is bizarre when it comes to the siblings, especially, as they were kids at the time). He got so bad that by the time John killed him I found myself wondering if that's what Danny was trying to make him do all along; see how far he can push a good person until he does the worst thing, then he triumphantly shouting "Hah! Knew you were awful!"
But no. He wasn't awful. Nor were the rest. Not until Danny made them that way. And that bad thing they did years ago pales in comparison to what Danny drove them to.
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