MovieChat Forums > Abducted in Plain Sight (2019) Discussion > Neurotic naïveté

Neurotic naïveté

posted 5 years ago by Catbookss (13664)
3 replies | jump to latest

I just heard about this yesterday, and it explains, at least in part, what was so off about these parents, and their kids.

It happens in households where there's some form of significant abuse, but the child is repeatedly given the message that what they experienced and/or witnessed did not happen: a denial of reality. They then carry this into adulthood.

In this case, add to it the strong religious background of these parents, which would give them an even stronger motivation to deny to themselves that anyone was as awful and abusive a person as "BB" was.

"BB," being either a psychopath or sociopath, easily realised and exploited this weakness in them.

It looks like to this day they still don't realise what it was about them led to this happening.

[–] twinA (4826) 5 years ago

This explanation hurts because it is all too true, Catbookss (Welcome back, by the way!). Ah, nothing like getting reacquainted with someone you remember fondly in a topic about neglect and abuse. It really sets the mood for some serious discussing and endearing conversation. The fact they come from a religious background suggests they did not have much in the way of other means of education.

Not knocking religious values, which are wholesome and important. Oftentimes, it is the only means of education available to those who would be left without and be very vulnerable. Vulnerable indeed, because look what happened to them. Their denial, as you say, prevented them for seeing the problem or knowing how to resolve it.

~~/o/

[–] Catbookss (13664) 5 years ago

Aw, TwinA ❤️. So good to see you :). You're such a kind-hearted and articulate person. I've missed you.

I don't mean to knock religion or religious values either. (Not saying you think I was. Just stating my opinion for the record.) In this case, though, I doubt any education would have helped, if my theory is correct and the parents were suffering from neurotic naïveté. Which they'd have passed along to their kids.

It would explain why, watching this documentary, I was repeatedly struck that there was something very off about the parents' unbelievable naïveté. I kept feeling like they were lying, hiding things. If this is true, they were lying, but to themselves, and not very consciously, if they were conscious of it at all.

In religious communities particularly, being naive is considered a positive quality. It's like being pure, good. What I'm saying is their religious background, and the fact that "BB" was a church member in their congregation, coupled with being told as children that something very bad that happened to them or they witnessed did not actually happen (brainwashing them to deny their own reality if it was bad), made them easy prey for "BB" or anyone similar to him. ... Whew, that was a messy sentence 😀

What confused me about them was, well, first the whole thing is unbelievably awful! They allowed their own daughter to be kidnapped twice by the same person, and remained friends with him?? I kept feeling, as I said, like they were lying, not telling everything. Yet, they didn't seem like the type of people who were liars. Confusing. This would help make sense of the nonsensical :)

[–] twinA (4826) 5 years ago

Glad to bring joy to people's lives. You are a most enduring person, Catbookss. Your ability to keep yourself calm and focused in the midst of circumstances outside of your control; natural fires and having to move, getting accustomed to different places and surroundings, does not go unnoticed. You are reminder which gives everyone the strength to enjoy life and what they have. You have touched others in your own loving way. Seems it takes one to experience unpleasant ordeals to have insight of compassion, consideration, and sensitivity; qualities which you possess.

Cleary, the family is in need to belong to a group of people. The parents demonstrate an incredible lack of individuality; no wherewithal to make their own decisions or critically think about the situations they are putting themselves into. And the worst thing about it is, the real victim in all of this is the daughter, who is not able to handle choices yet in her life!

I haven't brought myself to watch this documentary yet. I am sure Twin B will gander at it with mild curiosity. Sadly, Catbookss, with what one my friends tells me, who works in the funeral industry (lots of interesting stories), this is totally believable and unfortunate. Darn, crying shame.

~~/o/