You mean to tell me that if she gets engaged, she can't replace it then? I've never understood that whole "no dating until the wedding ring" deal that some Christians believe in, such as the sisters in BarlowGirl. Should or should not you date someone, THEN get engaged, THEN get married? It's not meet and then marry... no one has been able to explain that to me very well.
Speaking from personal experience, the best thing I ever did for my dating life was renounce my faith.
I grew up in the church that made this film, and there are no clear answers. As a male christian, your dating life suffers because everything you can possibly do is a sin. You ask youth ministers for advice, and they say to pray about it or WWJD or something else vague. You get a date, and they pull you aside and ask questions about her. If she's not in the church, it's strongly recommended that you shouldn't date her because that's not 'honoring God' or some other such nonsense.
Anyways, according to the Sunday School classes by the church who made this film, virginity should be lost on the wedding night. And dating for Christians pre-engagement (and even engagement) is quite boring and is more like having a dinner and movie partner of the opposite gender whose parents judge you.
4) No daughter I know would be that willing to agree to a deal like that.
Believe it or not, these things are not that uncommon. The problem is with these virginity pledges is that everyone breaks them eventually. For this reason, virginity groups often include 'born-again virgins' or people who've had sex, but aren't currently and feel bad about it. Without these 'born-agains', the groups would be pathetically small.
By the time Southern Baptists turn 22, even if they aren't married, the singles group in church doesn't bring up the 'no sex until marriage thing' even though nobody's married. Strange how that works.
I am eyesbick-1. Prophet of the IMDb Moderator Gods.
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Tresemmegan
12 years ago
I skimmed through some of the responses on this board, but I just wanted to offer my view of the scene and of Nathan's relationship with his daughter.
I think this was an outstanding and realistic portrayal of a Godly man doing what's right for his daughter. He was strong, graceful, and unwavering of his devotion to making sure his daughter understood what it meant to find the right kind of guy for her, the guy she deserved. I was very moved by this portrayal.
I also think that the majority of the women who say "that was too over the top" or "he was way too overprotective" or "he needs to lighten up" or "he has no idea what's best for her" probably secretly WISH they had a dad like that. I mean, who honestly wouldn't want a father who loves her so much that he sets high standards for her dating life and promises to protect her heart until she's ready to give it to someone for life? He wants his daughter to be with a Godly, classy, good-mannered MAN who will be honest, faithful, and good to her. He doesn't want a disrespectful, troublesome thug instead. A dad who just lets her daughter date anyone without a word doesn't care about her at all. Is that the kind of father you would want?
I could be wrong, though. Some women may not want that kind of father. Some women may want more independence starting at an early age, and for some, it does work out. But in my humble opinion, those women are the exception, not the rule.
And to reflect on the OP's question of what right does a father have to tell his daughter what was good for her instead of letting her choose for herself...
How many 15 year old girls know what is right and wrong when it comes to finding the right guy to date? How many 15 year old girls know that "he's the one"? When they start out dating, they don't focus on any of the bad things about the guy. They only see the good, while everyone else around them, especially the parents, notice the bad. The bad that COULD, not saying would, but COULD ruin her in one way or another. While it is important to have learning experiences through dating, those experiences are best left to a minimum until a certain age, or even stage, which is what Nathan was trying to do. He decided that when she was 17, she would be mature enough to start dating. To some, that may not seem fair because other fathers let their daughters date at 13 or even younger, but you know what? You're not missing out on finding the one you're gonna marry if you don't start at 15.
Waiting doesn't hurt.
Have a caring father doesn't either.
Parents see what their kids some, or even most, times don't see.
Anywhere you go, let me go too...that's all I ask of you
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edgeofthornes
11 years ago
You swing from extremes. If a father isn't willing to guard his daughter's virginity with his shotgun like in The Good Old Days then he by defination is a man raising harlot daughters. Sorry, my Dad never would have considered treating me like some chattel to be passed on to my future husband, he TALKED to me, knew I was intelligent and more importantly had basic common sense, something we are breeding out of the school kids nowadays.
I was engaged in my senior year at HS to a college freshman, my parents, especially my reborn mother, but even my father got on with him. It was ME who during a discussion on children (he was an only child and wanted several, I was the oldest of a large family whose parents both had to work, so I rather felt like I had ALREADY raised a family, wanted one or two at most) anyhow when I mentioned the cost of raising kids he casually mentioned his intention to blow off his student loan BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS DOING IT. A moment's thought was all it took for me to recall 'THEY' were also ALL blowing off child support. My father stayed with my mother for better and worse, and the worse, due to her paranoia, was mostly suffered on his side. I find it difficult to think a Loving God would want that pain, that mental and emotional abuse suffered by his Innocents, but that was my father's choice; mine was to break off the engagement, to not take the risk of being abandoned down the road without even child support when married with children got too difficult for him. I am in my 50s and still unmarried (oh, no, a womb gone to dust, think of all those could-have-been babies :P)
Can one of those going on about purity rings and godly fathers answer me one thing, does a vibrator break the 'purity pledge', it matters on whether I add I am still a virgin or not to the previous paragraph.
or did it stop mattering once I hit, oh, 30 or 40...
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
* Catherine Aird
(and yes, that IS my normal tagline, usually meant more tongue-in-cheek, but I guess God does work in mysterious ways: for the line sums up perfectly the mindset of far too many people on both sides of the discussion; there is no middle ground, one is either 100% 'good' or 100% 'warning')
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blynnpatton
12 years ago
I find it sad that you think that. You don't have to have sex to have an enjoyable date.
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