...David and Katie were at Katie's parents house, and David comes in and grabs her by the hair and pulls her out of the house? My jaw fricken dropped. What I found most shocking was the fact that he did it in front of her FAMILY! You never see that happen. Her family's reactions were heartbreaking. Though it's really unrealistic that no one did anything to stop him.
Now Your Nightmare Comes To Life
Well, many people don't see it happen, but it does happen in a lot of relationships JUST like that. My sister dated a guy in high school similar to David, only less quiet and more of an *beep* verbally. He slapped her across the face at a barbecue when they were fighting outside of his car less than 10 feet away in the driveway in front of 10+ family members.
Though it's really unrealistic that no one did anything to stop him.
Well wouldn't YOU have tried to stop him if Katie was your family member? Being an expert psychologist has nothing to do with it.
Now Your Nightmare Comes To Life
I wouldnt have done anything. Im not trying to get hit or slapped across the face from him.
E-X-P-R-E-S-S
AmberReckless, so you're saying that if your sister were slapped across the face by her boyfriend and you saw it, you'd do nothing? Wow, glad we're not related. I'd have slapped you instead.
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Testicles. That is all.
You have no grasp on what this situation is in real life, that's obvious by your post. Stop insulting others.
sharePlease don't pretend as though you know me or what I would do in a situation like this. Family is family. And if someone blatantly slapped a member of my family in front of me, I would be in the person's face faster than they could blink. And I can also say without a shadow of a doubt that if it were me being slapped by a boyfriend, my family members would do the same.
That being said, in the movie, I could see why the family did nothing when it happened. The times definitely had a lot to do with it. Domestic violence wasn't taken nearly as seriously as it is today (and maybe still isn't as much as it should be).
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Testicles. That is all.
I'm not being cynical or insulting here, I'm being pedagogical. Unless you've been in a similar situation, you have no idea how you would react. To say otherwise is silly. Everyone says "Oh I'd swerve out of the way if a deer jumped in front of my car," but not everyone does. When fight or flight takes over, you learn about yourself a little bit.
shareNor am I, and I understand. It's sad to say, but I do unfortunately know how I'd react because I've had to deal with domestic violence within my own family circle. So, I apologize for sounding demeaning but this is a sore issue with me.
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Testicles. That is all.
I feel sorry for you Lonmonster because you apparently believe you're incapable of empathy, sympathy or any other "thy" unless you've personally experienced it. People don't need to do something or live through something in order to understand. Sheesh, where were you raised? Oh, let me guess, America, where ignorance is king.
As a matter of fact your whole statement is nonsensical, as it also implies that if you had experienced something then you would act either the same or different the next time. In other words the prior experience would not dictate the outcome of a similar event repeating itself. You're a profound ignoramus.
Is there something wrong with your brain? It's Christmas, and the first thing you do is post two paragraphs about how stupid someone else is on the internet. How intelligent.
shareHow did you manage to misinterpret his post so badly? He was talking about the fact that we don't know how we would react in a similar situation if we hadn't experienced it before.
Oh, let me guess, America, where ignorance is king.
"Family is family. And if someone blatantly slapped a member of my family in front of me, I would be in the person's face faster than they could blink. And I can also say without a shadow of a doubt that if it were me being slapped by a boyfriend, my family members would do the same."
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What do you mean exactly by "in the person's face"?
Do you mean mean you'd respond to violence with violence?
That being said, in the movie, I could see why the family did nothing when it happened. The times definitely had a lot to do with it.
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As has been pointed out, you really can't say how you'd repond until it really happens. The "Times" may have accounted for some of this reaction in the movie.... BUT it could just as easily be the reaction you'd actually get from one well-adjusted Family that has never resorted to physical violence.... Shock.
Another thought to consider, not in this Movie's case, but in general.... there actually ARE people out there who thrive off of tempestuous relationships. They're completely bored with mature and adultlike treatment between partners.
Ask just about any Police Officer how often they end up responding to the same Addresses/Couples over and over because those 2 just can't seem to do without each other, but can't seem to behave either.
Domestic violence wasn't taken nearly as seriously as it is today (and maybe still isn't as much as it should be).
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Depends where you're coming from with that remark.
We all hear about it ad nauseum. And still it exists.
Why do you think that is?
You don't think the Family Members of the abused loved or cared for each other just as much back then?
We can point to all sorts of reasons Men resort to violence and nobody is defending the actions. But on the flipside, Abusive relationships rarely just Blow Up one night. It's usually a slow progressive build that gets more and more violent over time as the Abuser realizes that the abused is sticking around for more. Much less the type of person that seeks out abusive individuals time after time.
I have to admit I was a little shocked they chose to include the implication that she didn't just up and leave because of Monetary reasons. Wasn't she the one who said she didn't care if they were Rich or Poor, where they lived, or what they did as long as they were together and happy?...emphasis on the happy part.
So once it became clear he had no interest in having children ( which seemed to be awfully important to her) and that chasm of distance had developed between them, why didn't she just leave? without expecting a nickel?
"What do you mean exactly by "in the person's face"?
Do you mean mean you'd respond to violence with violence? "
I'm sorry. I don't understand what your problem is with this comment. If my family member were being dragged by her hair to her car, I would do everything in my power to stop it. Not only because the situation is wrong, but also due to the fact that the person is in danger.
I don't know why everyone is jumping on Sylvia, who by the way did state that she has been in that situation before and thus does know how she'd react.
No effing man is putting his hand on my sister or mother like that. I'd cut his dck off if he did that in front of me. I'd most likely throw a pot of boiling hot water in his face and swing like crazy with a baseball bat.
I dont know what YOU'RE talking about.
you obviously have no valuable life experience... if you stopped it, he would probably just beat her harder when he did get the chance.
the only thing you can do for that person in that situation is try to convince them to leave and offer them your love and support.
the fact is you may have stood up to him that time, but he would just take it out on her the next time he could and believe me in domestic situations like that one the girl keeps going back and the guy is petty enough to take it out on her.
you would be doing her no favors.
get some more life experience and then come talk with the adults, you sound like a little kid.
the only thing you can do for that person in that situation is try to convince them to leave and offer them your love and support.
I'd have slapped you instead.
Hopefully, you can see the irony in that statement.
As to the scene, if you do not come from a violent family background, it is very easy to see people being shocked to the point of WTF? that the whole thing was over before they could even process what happened. It is not like he beat her for 20 minutes while the family looked on stupidly. It was over in a second.
And the movie does make a point of showing her brother's tormented regret at not having done something then.
Sounds like you deserve to get slapped around.
shareYou don't know what you would do. You say you would do something, but when push comes to shove, you don't know what you'd do, especially because you wouldn't have expected it.
shareIf you're 20 then you probably don't know how you would react in the situation. If you're 40 then you probably have enough life experience and knowledge of yourself to know how you would react.
If a crisis occurs, even though I may never have experienced that particular crisis before, I know I can a level head and function because I have coped in dire situations before.
Totally agree.
It's totally unrealistic to imagine no one stopping him or doing anything, especially in America where violence is king.
Well I'm not a psychologist either, in just two years I'll be one because hopefully in the near future I'll spend less time on IMDB while I should be studying..
But seriously if my man grabbed me by the hair and started pushing me in the car during a family gathering... he would most certainly be stopped by my brother, or any other member of my family. So yeah, that was kind of weird.
Loved the movie though. Really one of those underrated gems that you have to stumble upon.
I initially had the same reaction as you, but then I thought about it:
1. There's a strong possibility the family was in shock. I guess this incident really happened, and Kathleen (Katie)'s brother Jim said, "looking back, I should have ripped his face off."
2. At that time (and sadly, in some cases today), an incident like that may have been viewed as a private matter between a married couple, rather than the domestic violence it was.
3. David had a lot of money. It's scary how persuasive money can be. Katie's family was very blue collar/working class and it was established earlier in the film how impressed they were with his prestigious place in society. They would have seen that as "marrying up" and may not have questioned his actions as much. Sad but true.
I agree with #2, I mean not that I think it's a private matter but maybe 40 years ago, it was seen as taboo or something to intervene.
Go hard and show me that you really want me & maybe I'll give you the time of day...
@maybeimamazed02
2. At that time (and sadly, in some cases today), an incident like that may have been viewed as a private matter between a married couple, rather than the domestic violence it was.
Sorry, but when someone is abused in public like that, it ceases to be a private matter because you're already IN public.
Yes. I knew it was going to happen but it was still shocking.
Attn All Units!
You have got to remember too that it was in the 1970's when the attitude was more that a man could and would put a woman and their children in their place, domestic violence wasn't even taken seriously by the police until the very recently, so it was probably seen as a family (man and wife) problem.
In the story i think the brother was sorry he did not step in, he was quite a weak man (for that time period) as seen with how his girlfriend/wife spoke to him/treated him, I think the grief he showed in the car when dedicated to putting up posters was his regret coming out.
I was suprised when the family didn't do any thing!!!
the world would be a better place if everybody smoked weed - kirsten dunst
You never really know what you'll do in some situations. Even though I know it was a different time - I was still stunned that the brother didn't do something. He was a husky guy and should have been able to overpower David.
The problem is, we don't know WHY the family, especially the brother, didn't do anything. (The brother also failed to stop her from driving around drunk.) It's not told.
I mean, they weren't fighting or anything. He goes out of the house, comes back and grabs her by the hairs and pulls her out? If that would be my sister, this guy would be out on the street before he could say one peep.
[deleted]
I wasn't expecting that, even knowing the real story I still wasn't expecting that. He just went from daylight to dark. It makes me wonder if this man did have the occasional flair up before that. She would have probably kept it private and not spoken to anyone about it.
Having experienced this kind of thing in real life, in that time period, I can honestly say that a person never does all of the things they think they will in those types of situations. Either because of shock or fear, we never react how we think we will. And family never wants to get invloved with what they feel is personal. If he had never acted that way before, they probably thought he was just having an out burst. And I feel pretty sure she didn't go telling all of the details to her family after every incident. But she should have, but women just don't always do that.
I'm a voodoo child baby
I don't take no for no for an answer.....J.H.
Not many people at the party saw it and only her family was there. If what happened was so brutal, why didn't they do something? Was this something that they made up or exaggerated after she disappeared. Who knows.
shareFor real. That brother was no Ron Swanson.
My family would never let a guy get away with treating me like that. And I don't even think they like me very much.
just watched this last night, and I knew the exact scene you were referring to when I read your Subject title.
What's funny is, this scene was filmed in a house on a street in Bridgeport, CT during the day - a group of us were standing outside taking pictures (Ryan was awesome, waving to the cameras, etc.... Kirsten, not so much). Either way, Ryan was joking around w/ the crew and laughing and stuff right up until this scene, and Kirsten also was singing in the car when a crew member dropped her off. So for them to go from that to this very dramatic scene was intense.
PS: the reason I knew it was this scene is b/c of the costumes/outfits they were wearing; i'll have to find the pictures I took, it was a few years ago.
Keep the change, ya filthy animal.