Gave me haemorrhoids

I saw Smokin' Aces for the first time in 2017. I was enjoying it but had to pause to take a shit at one point. It was a good shit. I resumed the film shortly after, and around about the time the Tremor brothers were introduced my asshole started to hurt. A lot. I didn't think much of it until the next day when it was still hurting. I was scared to take a shit that day, but I did it anyway. It was not a good shit – there was a ton of blood and a gigantic lump had appeared. I was scared, obviously, so I called the doctor, whom I saw the very next day. He stuck a finger or two in me and confirmed it was haemorrhoids. Sometime later I had a haemorrhoidectomy to remove them.

My asshole is fine now.

Anyway, that's the story of how Smokin' Aces gave me haemorrhoids. I haven't watched it since.