while standing in front of a bear cage Bob Fossil: That's because he's a communist. He doesn't understand the service industry. But what he doesn't get is, if carpet man don't dance, carpet man don't eat"
I often ask people this when they're boasting, then usually follow it with "simmer down".
Also:
Spirit of Jazz: "... maybe you gots to do somethin for me. I gots needs too, ya know."
HM: "Whatst?"
Kodiak Jack: "Beautiful view, huh?"
HM: "Oh yeah, whenever I see a view like that I'm always aware of the terrifying insignificance of mankind, and yet at the same time the irrevocable connection that we all have with the universe."
Kodiak Jack: "Ya know what I think about? Allll the tiny animal penises all over."
"Ya know what I think about? All the tiny animal penises all over." - I find this one doubly funny because I'm always being accused of knowing a disturbing amount about animal genitalia. I'm a zoologist, and when you study animals you naturally study their mating habits, so you do tend to learn some pretty odd things about animals' naughty bits. When I inform people of some of these (not just out of the blue, I only do it when it's relevant!), I often get looked at like I'm a maniac - people seem to assume I just go around staring at animal penises all day.
I only vaguely remember it - I recall some film of lions being shown with Ricky talking over it, saying something like: "What a slag, she don't even know him!" when a lioness approaches a male.
I do remember Ricky spouting utter nonsense regarding daddy-long-legs being highly venomous but having no teeth. This is a complete myth.