the best lines in phoenix nights

Some of my favourites are:

"You can't have kids jumping up and down on that ... love length!"

"You pissed on your Mr. Chips?"

"And I want to do the Moonwalk son, but life's a shithouse!"

brian - you'd wanna walk a mile in my shoes, son.

jerry - yeah, so would you.

"They'll throw the key at me"

"a tulawin"

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Christ, where do I begin? I'm just going to rattle some of my favourites off, I havent gone through all the posts so forgive me if I've repeated any.


Bp - Brian Potter
Rv - Rayvon
M - Max
P - Paddy


Rv - Shabba

Bp - Sweet baby jesus and the orphans, are My eyes decieving me Jerry? Or have you got two of my builders singing acapulco.

BP - Stranraer!!!

M - Get back you b*stards, I'll break ya legs.

M - Le beer, Le d*ckhead.

M - Highlander, Wig!

M - The diver's watch, the one with the light.... I can swim.

Eric (The guy who sells the games) - I'll give ya a weeks free trial and then it's got to go to a convention in Dusseldorf.
BP - Dusseldorf? Oh good you can take das fruit machine with you.

Bp - Where's my dartboard gone? Don't throw them in there son, anaglypta that, 12 quid a roll.

Bp - Mother Theresa, Miami Vice and Billy Liar, Jesus they'll throw the key at me.

Bp - Live the dream Jerry, don't forget you're dying.

Bp - Christ, what's this you're taking now? You'll be snorting Cecil in the bogs next.
Lesley - You mean Charlie?
Bp - I don't know who he is Lesley, I've never met the fella.

Mary - What do you think Joyce (In reference to the Kamikazi lager)
Joyce - I'm not raving Mary

1/2 A Shilling Singer - Are we havin' a 3 day week out or something son? It's as black as ouwt out there.
Jerry - I don't think you'll be going on at all, we've had a power cut.
1/2 A Shilling Singer - Nay lad we don't need electric we're a folk band.
BP - Do you speak English? Ya sending me over the edge.
1/2 A shilling Singer (In posh accent) - We're acoustic, unplugged, we don't need electric.

Rv - Come on let's get another one up, let's get another victim on the ride, just a little joke from Ray there.

M - Get with the program d*ckhead, trying to win some lager.

M - Baldy bouncer.

P - Eyeball eyeball, looks like we got ourselves a convoy, 10-4 rubberd*ck.
M - Hey less of the rubberd*ck, Baldy.

M - Can you hear me now?
P - Hear ya? I can see you.

Bp - Ya spelling it wrong, ya spelling it wrong. Pyskick, what's a pyskick? It's meant to be psychic... D*ck!

Clinton Baptiste (Psychic) - I'm getting the word.... Nonce!

Keith Lard - You ever smelt burning flesh son?
Man in audience - Yeh!

I've Come Here To Chew Bubblegum And Kick Ass, And I'm All Out Of Bubblegum.

On the radios when filming crimetime

Director: Going for a take
Max: We are going for a take
Director: Whos this
Max: Whos this
Director: What channel are you on
Paddy: Tell him
Max: ITV, ITV i think

class

or in France

Max: Le beer, Le dick head

spencer-lets get ready to rumple
ray von-shabba
max-can you hear me
paddy-yeh where are you
max-look im on the bus,look,yay!!!!!!!!,look im on the bus,yay!!!!!
brian-stran ry,today stran ry,in schocland!
max-my love..........walking on the moon
brain-whats he doing
paddy-he's brought the chips and now he's dropped em,whees my tamota sauce
brian-and what have you called it,the funny farm
paddy-how far away are they?


dakota fanning fan

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