Favorite MST3K lines

First off, there's one line that wasn't added by MST, but it's one of my favorites just because Michelle's delivery is so bad:
"Oh, boy, have you got a line a mile long!"

"Sure hope shish shtill shwingsh at that shpot on shunshet!"

"Look, I'm really remorseful, you cow!"

"Ok, then, little Nummy-head."

"Oh, Charles Manson walks the streets. The Zodiac Killer's at large. Charles Bukowski is pukin' out the window and Santa Claus is on his way!"

"Yeah, see how dey shake der boobs?"

"Thank God he didn't notice my weird, pushed-in face."

"How do you NOT get hired as a dancer here?"

"Now I can go to costume parties dressed as margarine!"

"Ha-ha-ha, we're icky."

wistfully: "Ohhhhhhh, good-bye, underwear."

"Do you want to laugh or cry..."
"... or look like John Tesh?"

"He gets a nice harmonica sound out of that guitar!"

"Excuse me, young fellow, could I get a fix?... No, really, I'm very strung-out and in need of some 'Mary-Jane' or 'reefer.'"

"I had a pretty miiiiiiiiiind!"
"Then my miiiiiiiiiind had babies and got sretchmarks!"

"Me? Oh, yeah, I'm still ugly."

"It's just about time for my Jerry Orbach lesson."

"Hey, honey, way to play the harmonica with your ass!"

***"I'm a good dancer." "Yeah, compared to Stephen Hawking!"***
-- Crow T. Robot


Tom Servo: "Shouldn't we be in individual booths for this movie?"
Mike Nelson: "Hey, they have tacos!"
Servo: "I'm back!"
Crow: "Ugh! We're thrown violently into the next scene!"
Mike: "The new motorized beach bath tub."
Crow (singing): "We're the Bank of America, whoa-oh!"
Crow: "Merry Christmas, everyone. Let's go to the haunted house."
Mike: "The Mount Rushmore of ugly."
Crow: "Arafat, in the sixties."
Servo: "The draft board just called and said 'nevermind.'"
Crow: "So much for his consciencious objector status."



*the juke is playing "everything I touch turns to gold"*
"Everything I touch turns to flies"
"When sexy becomes annoying"
"I'm back!"
"Let's go back to law school, we're terrible bikers"
"Hey, he's mine! Get's your hands off him!"
"Nah!" I love the whole ending with the fight and their sarcasm.



"Don't! The fryer's hooked up to the Clapper!"

"When sexy becomes annoying."

"OK, I'll have a thousand Hershey bars, then."

"I got forty bucks! We got dune buggy rides all week!"

"Hehhhh, we bantered."

"Words, bread....must be Samuel Jonson with a baguette."

(biker puffs out smoke) "And that's just his breath."

"Look! Something!"


"*sung* you're living a lie, you dance like a clown, i hope that you die!"

"here's a puzzler! which one of these two is worse at their art form?"

"well, what do you expect? he's just a child!"

"yeah, front page of the L.A.Times. $40 robbery, no one hurt."

"thank you, thank you. i'm the one who jumped, thank you."

"*sung* or your silver boots we don't mean to discriminate against the other color boots"


Oh, man, TOO many, LOL...let's see...

Mike (after Critter grins once Buzz realizes all the money is foreign): "I'm Critter!"

Michelle's Dad: "Don't you get smart with me!"
Michelle: "I'm not getting smart!"
Mike (as Michelle): "I *can't*!"

Mike: "Boy, if you're the town drunk of L.A., you know you've got problems."

Buzz to Michelle: "Hey, I said I was sorry!"
Mike: "Look, I'm really remorseful, you cow!"

Tom Servo: "Whatever, white people."

Tom Servo (as Buzz looks at Critter while watching Michelle on the floor): "Yeah, get out there and shake your tailfeather!"

LMAO...I love this episode!


"We're thinking of adopting"

"An 18 story office buiding? This could only be L.A.!"

"Oh, Charles Manson walks the streets,
the Zodiac Killer's at large,
Charles Bukowski is pukin' out the window
and Santa Claus is one his way"

"Merry Christmas everyone. Let's go to the Haunted House!"

"Do the wounded turkey"

"Hey Honey, way to play the harmonica with your ass!"


I like all the ones everyone's posted. But my fave is when there's a shot of Buzz and Mike says "I'm an icky elf." So funny.



A personal favorite of mine too!!

I laughed so hard, I am laughing now just thinking about it.


"Wow, even the sex and drug industry has a seamier side."

"So I just plant my feet and sort of pretend to fall over, right?"

"Ah, he's decided that he likes violence and he's ready to kill like a man oughta."

"Dr. Doolittle? That doesn't look like Eddie Murphy."

"I'm going to go get a goodbye slap from dad."

"I reproduced asexually while I was out."

"Let's stop at Drink, Boink And Regret."

"We discussed it. I was ready for 'move it', but my friend had some reservations."

"I guess he has a microphone implanted in his throat."

One of my absolute favorites is the song parody by Mike. "Mike, will you forget about the raindrops and the puppies and get out??"


"What happens when you touch gold?"

"Do the giant toddler dance!"

"You are a delight"

"Look! Free beer! Lick the bike"

"Hey...I forgot to tell you about our pasta special"

"Merry Chistmas, let's go to THE HAUNTED HOUSE"


"I got 40 bucks we've got dune buggy rides all week!"

"And if you buy now you'll also get the cap schnaffler"

Blatz: This'll give you something to do with those busy hands
Crow: What is he implying?

Buzz to bikers (after shooting their tires): Have fun.
Servo: Well we're not gonna have fun now!

Band leader (about Critter's songs): Hey have you got any more of these?
Critter: Yeah!
Mike as band leader: Good cuz we might wanna burn em or crap on em or something

Servo as Buzz: I'm gonna drive in reverse, get some of that gas back.

"Okay keep it coming I'm not convinced we're in LA yet!"

Critter: There goes-(annoying buzzing noise)
Mike: You can say that a-(buzzing noise continues)
Crow: What a-(buzzing noise continues)


"I guess i'll take a thousand hershey bars then"


"Let's go back to law school, we're terrible bikers."

"We'll snubb him. Let's organize a party quick and not invite him."

"Boss, I'm running to Staples, you need anything?"


"Look, I'm getting a little tired of you summoning me here every 5 minutes!"

"He must of brushed his head against the ceiling when he walked in"

"After all he's just a kid"


It's been a while since I saw this episode. My favorite moment was when mike pulled the pool cue from under his chair and started to play during a wide angle shot. I also didn't see "I used to have a pretty mind, too" and then someone improvised "but then my mind had babies and got strech marks"


El Kabong is stalking them!

Did he just say lickey me?


Tin hershey bars! those are hard to eat.

It's illigal to not stop at EAT.

from the land of nipple!

Oh there are so many more, I'm going to net flix this right now!