'Protection' makes no sense

Yes, I made a typo in my post title last time, but I am not gonna fix it..

Anyway, when Austin Powers excitedly tells Vanessa about having 'shagged' Alotta Fagina 'rotten', he doesn't seem to understand that 'protection' means things like condoms - as in protecting yourself from STDs and such. He talks about his gun as protection, and says that only sailors wear condoms.

This is all fine.. EXCEPT for the fact that he _DOES_ not only understand protection to mean exactly what Vanessa means by the word in that scene, but also uses that very word in that very context perfectly, when he explains why he thinks he's going to be 'sound as a pound' just after the 'thawing procedure'.

He mentions how as long as people are having lots of promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners.. WITHOUT PROTECTION ... while simultaneously experimenting with blah and so on.

Please notice his usage of the word 'protection' in that scene, making it CLEAR he understands that protection does NOT refer to his gun at all. HE KNOWS, and yet somehow suddenly doesn't know?

That scene, as funny as it is, makes no sense.

Not to mention how illogical and contradictory to facts Vanessa's statement about Austin's predicted 'loneliness' is - he is going to be lonely BECAUSE he can easily have female companionship any time he wants? What?

The 'reason' he's gonna be lonely, Vanessa seems to think, is that he slept with a woman Vanessa didn't like. It's like.. the only way this makes sense is that it's actually pretty realistic in how women think.

Vanessa seems to think that 'Austin's loneliness' is the same thing as 'Vanessa avoiding Austin's advances'. It makes no sense, except to point how the 'undefinable' gender thinks in real life.