So Many Stupid Scenes...........I Can Never Enjoy This Movie Again :(

I remember watching this at the age of 13 back in 1995. I loved this movie so much back then. The VHS of the film was totally worn by the time I had finished re-watching it for the 1000th time. Then I grew up, discovered other types of cinema (Independent, Chinese, Korean, French, Eastern European etc.) and drifted away from typical Bollywood schmaltz.

Today while flicking through Netflix, I stumbled upon Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. I hadn't seen it in over 15 years and I was instantly in a nostalgic mood and remembered loving the movie as a kid. I started watching it................here's where things went so wrong :(

I'm not a very picky viewer and never expect all films to be realistic (especially not Bollywood films) but I do expect films that are set in the real world to be grounded in some sort of reality. But DDLJ breaks all rules to a ridiculous degree. The amount of times I was rolling my eyes at some of the stupidity in the scenes was giving me a headache and made me reach the conclusion that I can almost certainly never enjoy this film again as I used to and that's a shame. And this has nothing to do with growing up as I still enjoy films from my childhood like E.T., Toy Story and Home Alone.

So let's discuss the stupidity shall we? First off the bat: Raj's Graduation Humiliation. No self-respecting educational institution in the world would ever name and shame a failing student like that. Simply ridiculous. And if Raj had failed, he would already be notified and not be invited to the graduation ceremony in the first place. Also, there is no University in the world that doesn't have any failing students every single semester. So for them to announce that for the "first time in their history they've had a failure" is beyond ridiculous.

Catching the train. It's a great scene right? Except that the UK has always had pretty strict guidlines on when to close train doors. A person on the platform always checks to see if anyone is still trying to board before blowing the whistle to inform the driver it is safe to close the doors. If Raj was standing in the train and leaning out like that, no way would the doors start closing. It's different for Underground Tube Trains but not for platform trains like the one Raj and Simran were boarding. And then, how the hell do they end up in that empty, seat-less compartment? The door to that would not have been open for boarding. Silly.

The Month Long tour of Europe. Hey Raj, where the heck is your luggage? All we ever see him carry from start to finsih is a back pack and yet he changes clothes on a daily basis including suiting up in Paris. Did he magically fit all those clothes in his backpack? Come on.

Hitching a ride in Europe. So Simran in all her wisdom decides to go to the nearest motorway and try an hitch a ride. Mmmmmmmmmkay, there were much better options available after missing your train connection but whatever. So while she's trying to get a lift the Police pullover and start demanding to see her passport. This is not procedure and would simply never happen. They might ask for identification but they won't just assume you're a Johnny Foreigner and ask about passports. But even if they did, why is Simran so reluctant to go with them? She's done nothing wrong and the Police would no doubt be able to assist her in getting to her destination and helping her locate her luggage. Surely the Police are a much safer option than some random person who would offer her a lift no? But who cares, here comes our hero Raj all shouting and screaming about how Simran is his wife. So what do the trained Police officers do? Do they demand to see some proof or ask any further questions? Of course not. They take one glance at Raj's passport, believe all his rants and get on their merry way. Fantastic. Why didn't they just do the same with Simran when she said she had lost her ID? Never mind. Moving on.

Getting Back to London. So Raj and Simran are now back in London and part ways to lead into the song "Ho gaya hai tujhko to pyar sajana". So why is Raj driving around Switzerland again in the very next scene? Never mind, logic is out of the window by now. Let's just say he can teleport and move on.

Simran's Dad deciding it's time to move back to Punjab. This scene made my eyes do a complete 360. So Simran has just returned from Europe, it looks around 8 or 9pm in the evening and she is discussing how she has fallen in love with her Mum. Her Dad hears this and gets in a rage and decides ON THE SPOT that the whole family is moving back to Punjab the VERY NEXT DAY. WOW! We live in the age of Skyscanner, online check ins and web based estate agents but even now we couldn't book, pack our stuff, sell our house and our business and then jet off to India forever in a matter of HOURS. This was 1995! Jeeez Aditya Chopra! Use your brain mate.

Raj Arrives the next morning. So here comes Raj to Simran's London house the next morning. Even though Simran made it clear before that they didn't knwo each others addresses maybe Raj found it out from one of her mates. I'll let that slide. He rings on the door bell and the neighbour informs him that the family "sab kuch bech ke chale gaye Punjab - LOL! - meaning they have sold everything (in one evening) and left for Punjab). He spots that Simran has left the cowbell (the internationally recognised sign of "I love you, please come after me) and Raj decides to pursue her. Now, how in the heck did Raj track her down in the enormity of Punjab?? Did Simran hide her address in the cowbell? Did he ask her friend again about where she lives in Punjab? Who knows? Who cares. Just accept Raj has access to the ultimate Sat Nav or something.

What's our hero's plan now? To go straight to her parents and admit to their love? Nah. He wants to get in with he fiance (as you do), win over the family one by one even though the wedding day is fast approaching and then................what? Then admit to their love? I don't know. We never get to know the final plan since her Dad finds out himself anyway. Aaah well. Now what? Plead with the Dad to not send her daughter of to an unhappy marriage? Nah, he tells Simran that they have to do what their parents say. OK then. Cool.

So off goes Raj to the station to head on home. His Dad asks him where Simran is. He tells her that her Dad will bring her to the station. Ummmmmmmmm, just what was he basing this belief on? What hint had her Dad given Raj while he was slapping him silly and then giving him the death stare before he left that he had any plans to hand his daughter over to him? Never mind.

Anyways, in conclusion, this film has got way too many idiotic moments in it to ever be enjoyable again.

I do like Zindagi Na Milege Dobara though :)