1. Gates may not know art, but he knows what he likes (as per his "Dogs Playing Poker" picture).
2. 250 thousand lira equals 200 dollars American.
3. Almond Joy hates 'old CIA, new CIA' jokes.
4. The guy on a donkey's just a guy on a donkey.
5. The Mario Brothers are New Jersey's third-largest crime family.
6. George Kaplan and the candy bars blow up space shuttles for breakfast.
7. The Vatican will not lie down for some schmuck from New Jersey.
8. Being codenamed after candy bars is better than codenamed after diseases.
9. July is a popular month for hat conventions.
10. Alchemy is the business term of the 90s...or was, anyway.
11. Happiness comes from the achieving of goals.
12. However, when you make your first billion by age 19, it gets harder to come up with new ones.
13. Tommy Five-Tone is very sensitive about his (freakin') figure.
14. George Kaplan misses communism. After all, it got him laid every night.
So I take it you ran out of ideas at number fourteen. Short list for those great expectations in the title.
I'll wait 'till you reach a hundred
signature :
...something deep and overwhelming...
I'm guessing that you hated the film, right? The only reason I stopped is that I was expecting (much like in the '100 Things' posts on other boards) others to post, and I still hope for that.
In the meantime...
15. Harvey's Bristle Cream makes for a great date.
16. There's nothing Darwin hates worse than failure.
17. Don't blame Fotomat; after all, they're your fetish pictures.
18. Every schmo has the fantasy that the planet revolves around them.
19. Hawk isn't the type to hold a grudge.
20. There is a part of Hawk's body he won't be needing for the final job.
21. 573 is a hell of a lot of Wong numbers.
22. we have soup in flasks italians have spagetti
23. even the pope likes Mr Ed
Bro, I loved the film. Too bad Bruce Willis is ashamed of it .
It had great humor.
Keep up the good work. ;)
signature :
...something deep and overwhelming...
24. Even the Pope gets pissed off at bad TV reception.
25. You could be swingin' on a star.
26. The dolphin is dead.
27. Catholic girls are scary.
28. I'd like to play Nintendo with Anna. It'd be fun having her handle my "Wii."
29. The Lovre is in Paris, not Wisconsin.
30. Hawk had the worst ketchup in prison.
31. It's much better to time your robberies with songs.
32. Kit-kat really liked Anna
33. When you save someone's life, try not to tear their clothes.
34. Hawk wants to reach a handicapped kid how to jodle.
35. Kaplan works for somebody powerfull, not the president.
36. The Mona Lisa would show her teeth, if there existed a orthodontist in that time
share37. God wants a nun to keep an eye on hudson
38. Airbags , Sprinklers in the limo
39. The British have very dry humor, which they never stop using.
40. The Photomat employees are @ssholes.
41. The guy knows. The guy knows.
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age." - Groucho Marx
42. George envies Hawk and Tommy's glib repartee.
43. Italy, France...it doesn't make a difference to Butterfinger.
44. When making a getaway from criminals, make sure your escape vehicle doesn't have a Vatican prefix.
45. Bunny likes ball, ball.
46. Never trust the CIA.
47. Anna's not a very good damsel in a dress.
48. Tommy never knows if he's missed anything.
49. The cappuccino machine is still set to poison.
50. Butterfinger has an incling to Rape people....or, more likely, doesn't know the meaning of Rape.
51. Kicking someone Repeatedly in the front then the back will set them into never ending motion....
52. Dropping one's hat is the only way to stop said motion.
53. Leonardo Davinci accidentally did what thousands of alchemists could not....accidentally.
54. Way back when Bronze was very scarce.
55. If you close a port-a-potty door on your jacket just tug at it until you fall.
56. Don't expect Eddie to fall for that old trick.
57. No one knows where Captain Bob got that Steering Wheel....NO ONE.
58. The Dolphin is Dead
59. Minerva wears the Penis in that Family.
60. Bunny wasn't bad, he was very good.
61. Eddie only needs three minutes to....uh...get there with a dog knawing on his crotch.
62. You dart a nun, you get paralyzed then blown up....but hey, look on the bright side.....
63. Maybe it was a dud?
OK so where is the rest?
shareIt's "Bristol Cream" although actual Bristolians pronounce it that way.
CB
Good Times, Noodle Salad
61. Theres some things Hawk doesn't know about Anna
62. Hawk doesn't want to go out like a hunk of frozen play-doh.
63. Snickers is about to have a bad migraine.
64. David Caruso is possibly the creepiest person in the movie.
65. Frank Stallone probably cried himself to sleep every night in the 1990's.
66. Hudson Hawk go boom boom. He dead.
67. I think those Mayflowers set up Butterfinger and his coach.
68. Cocaine's one hell of a drug
share69. A stuffed elephant is a good way to test a museum's security.
70. When stealing a codex, one must beware the blue wire.
71. Reindeer goat cheese is an actual pizza topping.
72. "objets d'equestrian" means "horse things" in Italian.
73. "Swinging on a Star" is 5 minutes, 32 seconds long.
74. A bunch of rocks lying in a field are ruins.
75. There went his pension.
76. Hawk finally got his capichino.
77. the Yanks lost again.
78. The nuns at St. Agnus predicted that Hawk would rob the Vatacin.
79. Darwin Mayflower IS the villian.
80. Paper money will always be paper.
81. But gold will always be gold.
82. Hawk drives like he's ging to f#%king die.
83. Tommy asked Mrs. Lincoln how the show was and if he missed anything.
84. Tommy will play soccer on the grass if the sign says, "Stay off the grass."
85. Kaplin is not Hawks High School science teacher.
86. Kaplins first bare-handed strangulation was in Rome.
87. And the guy was a communist.
88. Which makes George an old softy.
And I'm spent.
89. That Buckingham-Palace-looking butlerhead motherf-cker isn't going to that hat convention in July.
Nature abhors a moron. -H.L. Mencken
http://www.cinemalogue.com
90. He's an accomplished yodeler.
share91. Song and dance routines are vital to performing a successful robbery.
92. Leonardo Da Vinci wore a false beard.
93. Concord is the only way to fly across the atlantic.
94. Airline magazines are dangerous due to them providing potential ideas for world domination.
95. Childrens handcuffs can't hold Hudson Hawk.
96: The proper way to address New Jersey's third largest crime family is: "Slurp my butt".
97: "Ew, menthol."
98: When rolling along the expressway on a runaway gurnee, it is always important to have exact change. And a strong throwing arm.
99: That's what you get for darting a nun.
100: 250,000 lira will get you a hooker and some tequila.
I feel this is a worthy 101 - If someone steals your elephant at a museum you will grow up to be in a same-sex relationship with Lindsay Lohan.
share
hudson forgets how to kiss girls.... not that he kissed boys.
butterfingers wants to rape everything.
I KNOW 2 things that are clear.I'm a great sinner,Christ is a great Savior.
102. Beating up a stuffed elephant is an embarassment to your country.
103. Vatican guards dont-a... (speak english)
104. You must pay the rent.
105. You can mail yourself to the vatican (which takes it's mail seriously).
106. Minerva's got the power.
107. The 5 tone is a nice local bar that none of the local's can afford.
108. Cappuccino is unmasculine.
109. The same skyline of NY can be seen from both side of the car.
110. This film was very poplular in Europe.
From the ashes of disaster, grow the roses of success
111. its advisable to sing "swinging on a star" with your fellow burglar while accomplishing a robbery (!)
share112) Hudson Hawk would rather be teaching the handicapped how to yodal.
share113) Sublety's not of one the Mario Brothers' strong points.
114) Never insult God in front of a religious person, especially a nun's face, that's the last thing you want to do.
115. The first thing that Tommy did when he got out of prison was to smooch the ground.
116. The ground tastes like freedom.
117. If you're an accomplished cat-burglar even your parole officer will hire you to steal something.
118. The sentence for robbing a bank is 10 years.
119. Tommy's record for the finger-cuffs is 18 seconds.
120. Hudson's record is 8 seconds.
121. All of da Vinci's inventions work, even if they were made a couple of hundred of years ago.
122. THE COLD WAR DID NOT INVOLVE PENGUINS...
123. ANDIE MACDOWELL'S IMPERSONATION OF DOLPHINS MAKES EVERY DOG IN THE WORLD'S EAR'S PERK UP AND HEADS TILT IN CONFUSION, OR GO ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. THE SMALLER THE DOG THE HIGHER CHANCES OF FREAKING OUT.
124. BUTTERFINGER GOT THE STAMPS.
125. BONE SOME SHICKS SOUNDS BAD NO MATTER WHO SAYS IT.
126. NEVER!!! EVER!!! COVER YOUR TRACKS.
127. A TENNIS BALL LAUNCHER IS GOOD WAY TO GET RID OF ANNOYING DOGS.
128. YOU CAN DROWN IN YOUR OWN SALIVA... AW!
129. ASKING AN ITALIAN WAITOR FOR KETCHUP IS AN INSULT IN AN ITALIAN RESTERAUNT, NO MATTER WHERE IN THE WORLD.
130. THE COMBINATION CUFFS WITH PRETTY COLORS MAKES THE SAME NOISE AS AUSTIN POWERS' SECRET PHONE WHEN BAZZLE ALWAYS CALLS.
131. RICHARD E GRANT ROCKS NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES.
132. TOSSING YOUR CAPPUCINO CUP OVER YOUR SHOULDER AND SMILING AFTER WAITING THE WHOLE TIME TO HAVE ONE IS AN AWESOME WAY TO END A STORY.
133. BUTTERFINGER CANT READ QUIETLY.
134. THUMB CUFFING TO KNOCKED OUT GUARD SEEMS TO DO ALOT BUT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT PROBABLY WONT DO MUCH.
135. DONT MESS WITH THE ITALIAN MAFIA OR YOU COULD HAVE RAMBO MARIO ON YOUR ASS.
136. THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR PEOPLE WITH BAD SENSES OF HUMOR. LIGHTEN UP!!!
137. Jumbo, we harldy knew ya.
share138. Dont eat mushrooms and watch this film, it is a mistake, I was confused and it sent my trip into a downward spiral pretty quick.
share139. Leonardo Da Vinci was the first to discover flight and NOT the Wright brothers as all your history textbooks have mistakenly told you.
140. 1481 plus 500 actually equals 1991 and NOT 1981 as all your algebra textbooks have mistakenly told you.
140. It's cool to wear white socks with black outfits.
141. The drive from Sing-Sing prison to the Five-Tone Bar takes at least five hours as it can be broad daylight when you leave and pitch black nighttime when you arrive.
142. Skateboards are magical inventions because they have the ability to materialize out of thin air.
143. New York City auction houses tend to have revolving doors in the middle of their back hallways for no discernible reason.
144. You can survive a fall from absolutely any height as long as you either a) land in a chair b) land on the hood of a car c) land on the ground or d) simply cut away to the next scene before you land at all.
145. Never insult a British butler.
146. Apparently it is possible to hide a big object (such as a crystal piece) inside of a SMALLER object (such as a work of art).
147. Smoke billowing from a malfunctioning cappuccino machine will dissipate in exactly two seconds flat.
148. Ambulances are highly unsafe machines because they tend to explode BEFORE they crash into other vehicles.
149. The CIA can discreetly photograph a robbery with hidden cameras but apparently can't actually DO the robbery discreetly.
150. The Vatican delivers unsealed packages.
151. No matter where you do your heist there will ALWAYS be a fat guard.
152. Putting on a pair of sunglasses will not disguise the fact that you're a nun.
153. Hudson Hawk is NO David Niven.
154. Never joke about killing someone around Minerva Mayflower. NEVER.
155. Lead and gold are but one proton apart on the periodic chart of elements and NOT three protons apart as all your science textbooks have mistakenly told you.
156. "I'll torture you so slowly you'll think it's a career" is actually a pretty funny line.
157. If the digital readout on a ticking bomb says two minutes, don't believe it. You really only have about fifteen seconds.
158. The sun sets absurdly quickly in Italy.
159. It also rises absurdly quickly.
160. It is incredibly easy to get a nun to renounce her vows... if you're Bruce Willis that is.
"Are women magic?"
161. The Hawk doesn't like menthol cigarrettes.
162. The Hawk can throw the exact change for a toll booth with a great deal of accuracy (try it, it's not as easy as it looks!)
163. If you have OCD the song "You Could Be Swinging on a Star" (don't know if that's the actual title) can get stuck in your head for 8 or 9 years after just watching this movie once. Trust me.
164. Anna can trip a security guard coming up an isle without even looking at him.
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"Go away or I'll call the brute squad!"
161. Eddie hits like a girl!!
Take your pinche color-coordinated sponsored chingada and take a flying fck
166. A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
167. and his shoes are a terrible disgrace.
168. A fish can't write his name or read a book.
169. British humor is as sharp as a razor.
170. Cesar Mario's brother understands how to "take their thingy and put it in this thingy".
171. If Leonardo da Vinci were alive in the 1990s, he would be eating microwave sushi, naked, in the back of a Cadillac.
172. If Leonardo da Vinci were alive in the 1990s, then Darwin and Minerva Mayflower would be eating microwave sushi, naked, in the back of the same Cadillac.
______
Joe Satriani - "Always With Me, Always With You"
http://youtu.be/VI57QHL6ge0
173. Hudson Hawk is the American Arsene Lupin III.
share174. That is what you get for darting a nun.
175. Hudson always wanted to sing like frankie valie (sorry for spelling)
176. It wasn't a dud.
177. Igg and Ook are their names (the sounds they make when they die).
178. You can survive going over a mountain in a car if you have air bags and sprinklers and a man with a donkey.
179. It was definetly Anna's turn.
180. Rules are meant to be broken "Keep off the grass....Let's play soccer".
181. Never **** Hudson's freedom for a lousy job.
182. Hudson wanted to teach yodelling whilst making spatulars.
183. Butterfinger definetly heard something.