I don't want to be depressing or anything, but I am just wondering how people think they will come to terms with their life ending...do you think you will be scared or at peace with it?
shareI expect I'll embrace death. No day but today and the like.
"Love's not about what you expect to get, only what you expect to give- which is everything."
Anger,denial,acceptance,relief.Bob Fosse got it right in "All that Jazz".I suspect it all depends on the circumstances.Your message doesn't mention being old.Relief is the prerogative of the old.
shareAnother terrific film about this subject is "Tuesdays with Morrie" with Jack Lemmon.
"I offer you this rose...my heart, my soul, my love."
"Love?"
- Legend
Whoa. Morrie was dying froma terminal illness. Just because Norman had turned 80 it didn't mean he was about to die. He could well live into his 90's. He was obsessed with ageing, he wasn't dying.
shareWell, I see what you're saying, but I must point out that yes, Norman was obsessed with dying as well as aging. I believe Ethel made a comment somewhere in the movie where he had been talking about dying for a very long time. Of course just because someone is 80, it doesn't mean they are ABOUT to die. But you have to admit that when you get to that age you know that you're getting into your last years. Although, I hope not too many people that age "obsess" over it. Love your life, even if you have only one day!
On a side note, I want to say how much it annoys me how elderly people are sometimes made fun of or not respected. I am in my 20's, but I can just imagine how I would feel when I get that age if some smart alleck little punk ridiculed me! I want to spread the word that hey, these men and women have been around a long time and have experienced way more than us and that is cool, and I know it's usually little kids that act like that or laugh at the way the elderly do things, so please teach your kids to be respectful! There was also a scene in the movie dealing with this subject (the boys at gas pump)
I imagine I will feel much the same as I do now: things go as they go and you cannot be alive forever. I remember my great-grandmother, who was 81 when I was born, didn't enjoy life very much at a certain stage, because many of her friends had passed away and she couldn't get around as easily, because her eyes weren't very good. She had been a widow since she was about forty-seven I believe and I can only imagine how lonely she was, especially because she didn't have any lover after her husband.
I wouldn't want to be so lonely - have been lonely and it is not a feeling I like. Dying must seem like a release when you grow very very old, like my great-grandmother who lved until her 97th. That is almost a century. I regret that I didn't take more of an interest in her, she could have told me many wonderful stories.
When I die, I hope it isn't in spring, I don't think I could bear to die in spring when all the things are starting to come to life again.
You seemed to be confused thinking not having a LOVER means someone is LONELY.
Being LONELY has no connection to being ALONE.
Because Some people can feel MORE LONELY when they're living in a home where they're surrounded by other people than others do who LIVE ALONE.
If you're still around now 15 YEARS later, then it would also be nice to hear about if your perspective has changed or not in regards to this matter !
Very thoughtful for a person your age...good for you. I'm 59 and find myself thinking more about death than I used to...like when I notice I don't have the endurance I once had...or when I get sick. I'm not sure I'm afraid of it. I've had a few heart surgeries over the last 30 years...with some scary complications. I think I was scared...but never enough to renounce my atheism. But as I get closer to normal human life expectancy, I wonder whether the next serious incident will scare me. I'm spending some time thinking about this...perhaps as a way to prepare. But I can say that jokes about "raisins" don't seem as innocent as they once did.
share'the death of mister lazarescu'
'A kitchen without a knife is not a kitchen.'- Masaharu Morimoto
People know when they are going to die.Its an instinct.Like an animal that goes and hides before it dies.At 80 (or even 75 as in Fonda's case)you can tell if you are slipping away....things add up after a while...shortness of breath,forgetfulness,bad eyesight,bad hearing,feeling tired,lack of circulation in extremities,dizziness......if you had all these things happen to you,wouldnt you think the end is near? I wonder what thought went thru Fondas mind when he accepted the part of Norman Thayer? Did he think...."this sounds like me....I will do this movie to wrap up my career"....or did he think "I'm not going to die,but I think I will play someone who is going to soon"....???
I'm not worried about dying when I'm old, the thought of dying before my time bothers me more!
I'm sorry, I don't speak monkey...
Wow. Deep question for imdb message boards. Anywho, I asked my 102 year old Gran-gran what she thought. She closed her eyes...took a deep breath...smiled...and let out the HUGEST FART I've ever heard. I think that sums up my thoughts as well.
"action!", director
I'm not old, so who knows. But I think most older people fear it for a while, but as they get older and realize that it's coming, they accept it and make peace with their life. Right now, I don't want to die and do have a fear of it, but at the same time, I know that it's something I'm destined to do, and in a way, it's nice to know it's something I have no control over. And I try to think of people who've died that I loved that they are resting and at peace. That makes it feel a little better.
shareI'm late 40's. If I live to be 90 something, I'm halfway there. How did that happen? There are people I went to high school with who have passed on. I think like Woody Allen. He said something like, "I'm not afraid of dying when the time comes. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
shareNice quote.
That is a hell of thing: accepting oneβs own mortality.
By any chance have you seen the film:
Dragonslayer (1981)?
Is anyone familiar with the e.e. cummings'* poem, "Dying is fine, but O baby, I wouldn't like death if death was good because...."
[If not, Google e.e. cummings 'dying is fine' and you'll see this famous poem.]
I recently turned 86, am in good health, a retired clinical psychologist/family therapist & part-time university prof. I exercise daily, go to dances 2 or more times/week, and am active in a society for retired university profs (at least 16+ meetings/events each month many of which are 2 or more hours). Occasionally I take Osher evening courses. I love sailing my S2 6.7.
In one of these meetings, I'm the assistant to a 98 yr. old retired prof of Spanish ("A.W.") who's our leader in our Drama Study series. We play-read & discuss about 5-6 plays/years. A.W. is mentally VERY alert (although he has a shrunken frame and moves about only in his wheel chair). His memory for names is extremely sharp (far better than mine) and he enjoys much mental stimulation. He's my ideal as far as aging is concerned: while I certainly don't want to lose my physical fitness, it's my mental sharpness that's even more important to retain for me.
I recently recited for "A.W." the cummings' poem referenced above and told him I was thinking of re-writing it and completely reversing cummings' logic about the order of death and dying.
From my perspective (and "A.W.s"), death is fine -- after all, death's inevitable. It's the dying that can be the real problem, the often -- too many times -- needless prolongation of a life that's at its end.
I haven't accomplished everything I've wanted to do. A book not yet written. But I have (I think) made a positive contribution to humanity in my professional work and some of my relationships. Have not always been a force for good but, on balance, I think, much more so than the other way.
_____________________
*cummings -- cummings wrote (almost?) all his poems in lower case and never used capitals in his name as a professional poet that I'm aware of.
Bob are you still here now at age 93???
Hope so!!!
Your message has definitely been an inspiration to this LIT MAJOR who was also more a FAN of EMILY and OTHER poets that you're probably also familiar with:
Because I could not STOP for DEATH; DEATH kindly STOPPED for me ...
DEATH be not PROUD ... ONE SHORT SLEEP ... we AWAKE ETERNATLLY ... and Death shall be NO MORE.
πππππ
I'm 68. Can't work up much enthusiasm for dying, but it's in the contract.
You gotta start off each day with a song ... even when things go wrong ....
Whenever I get a sudden fear of dying, I always remind myself
"Well, you wouldn't want to live forever." Seriously, that would be horrible.
But I think the poster who mentioned the five stages of grief earlier has it right. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Then again, who knows?
~ I'm a 21st century man and I don't wanna be here.