MovieChat Forums > Laserblast (1978) Discussion > Favorite riffs from Laserblast

Favorite riffs from Laserblast

All righty then...lets name our favorite riffs from the MST3K version of "Laserblast." I'll start...

"Look...are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!?!?!" (I laugh every single time someone says that)

"Somebody stop me!!"

"Ever thought of getting an ass reduction?"

"Hey, read between the lines."


"Dumb cop and dumb cop...they're dumb cops."

"Doh, why did I do that? Now I have to fill it up again!!" (and all the rest of the Roddy McDowall riffs)


"Alllllllll righty then!!"

And that's all that I can think some of yours!!!


'After all that it's pow pow??'

'oh billy between your musty blankets your scabby chest holes and your back fat ...'

'look everyones sending a piece of paper to everyone else!!'

anywho - love the riffs :P


'Oh good, we get to see him unfurl his pants.'

'Aw damn! There's only six rolls of toilet paper left!"

'Alright watchout thunderbucket, you're about to meet your greatest challenge."

(singing coca-cola theme) 'I'd like to teach the world to... GET READY FIR SUM FOOTBAALLL!!'

'Why'd you open all the cans of soup, Grandpa.'

'Let's find out if he's READY FIR SUM FOOTBAALLL!!'

(car is about to explode) 'Hey Eddie, hey Chuck, I like the flames you painted on your.... oh."


"Oh no, it's Michael Landon. What else can go wrong?"

"Somehow his mustard-y shorts don't help."

"Here's my Merle Haggard Visa; I assume you accept that."

"Dirty and Hairy"

"Is this UnderAll aversion therapy?"

"Yes, non-skinny women are inherently unhappy."

"He's never far from his trusty van."


"Looks like Trent Reznor ran out of gas."

"Oderint dum metuant"--Caligula


"F. Murray Abraham's tortured performance as Salieri in 'Amadeus'? No better than Laserblast."


Man, I'd forgotten about the Malten jokes!

"Oderint dum metuant"--Caligula


"Edward CDplayer hands"
"ARGHH! She's one of the turtle aliens!"


According to Maltin, yes, yes it is.
Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey


"I don't get it. E.T.phones us and then he doesn't bother to show up!"

"I think I see her digesting through those pants!"

"Man Kansas was right!We ARE all dust in the wind!"

"Deezen my way through here!"

"Hey,whatta shot!Who's the man here!"

"Quit scannin' me,boy!"

P-wood,you and I BOTH can't stop laughing at the Hank Williams jr' refs to the deputy(Well...whadwe have here? I wonder if we have a civilian who's READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!),and everybody here offered some price riffs!
I was worried when I got to this site that there'd be no refs to the MST ep.
I am,naturally,relieved!



"Dumb cop and dumb cop.... they're dumb cops!"

"Fievel goes west!"

"The Hulk's been losing weight!"

"I know what you're thinking.... did I fire six Gorlocs or just five?"

"I'm sorry I called you fat."

"You know, they probably used all their budget up between Roddy McDowell and these explosions."

"Somebody stop me!"

"Annnnnnnnnnnd.... ACTION! (two seconds later) CUT! That's a wrap!"

"The man baring this wallet is crazy; do nothing he says."

"Red Zone Cuba 3: The Death of Chereoke Jack"

All the Eddie riffs, especially the one during his death and "I miss Eddie" afterwards



I'm watchin it on Winamp right now, just started


Does anyone know what the head deputy says between when he says "Chief Unger, get in here!" and Servo says "*burp* You're welcome"? It's very hard to hear what he says and I was wondering if anyone caught that.


"C'mon Tina you fat lard, come get some dinner!!"


He says: "Nice of you to show up".


"Wait till he finds out that it doesn't go 'pow', but 'swiiffsh!'"



That was a good one, yes.


My favorites involve the aliens. The one alien says something that actually sounds like "it was me!" in english and Tom Servo (if I'm not mstaken) adds "it was me! I admit it!".


Actually it was Crow who said it. Still hilarious though. :)

"And what would a note say, Dan? 'Cat dead, details later'?"


"Theres a place in france where the ladies..."

that bit cracks me up quite alot.



(in a very lame-atter of factly voice): "Ah! Im sure whatever is on his arm is incredibly perelus!"

"Hey Eddy! Hey Chuck! I like the flames that are painted on your... oh..."

(During the scene where billy is driving with the hippy and for no reson blows up the Star Wars sign):
Mike: What? Just a sign that says Star Wars?
Tom: Reminding one of the Movie star wars.
Crow: Hey! I hadnt finished reading that!
Hippy: Faaaaaar ooooout!
Mike: Because.... hippies are... stoned.
Tom and crow: Aaaahhh, of course...


I barely remember this one but it was one of my favorites.It also contains one of the most obscure jokes and I'd really like to know if anyone knows what it means.

The kid pulls up to a house in his car, someone is with him.When they get out and approach the house Crow or Mike says in a stoned voice:
"Spicer,we're here for the dope."

This really struck me and my friends as odd being it's an old nickname of mine.Unfortunatly,my copy of the tape dissapeared and haven't been able to find another.But I really love this episode


Oh wow. How about when Tom kept singing 'The South's gonna do it' from Charlie Daniels? I fell off the damn couch at that part.


"I was getting into my ape role and threw some crap around".

"Ron Howard decides to take out brother Clint".

"'Baghdad Cafe', brilliant, subtle comedy... no better than 'Laserblast'."

"I ordered my drapes too short, but I learned to live with it."

"Ah, your film crew, ladies and gentlemen."

"I just got crabs from your toilet."