Overall, I think you give the best summary of Soames’ and Irene’s doomed marriage. It isn’t really a matter of tallying up “faults” and seeing who “wins”, as it is trying to understand the Victorian mentality and realizing that it was quite different—in all respects—between men and women. Everything: rules, expectations, society’s “norms”, what the Church said, legal status and relationship to family, was laid out much more strictly for women than for men. In fact, in Victorian times, unlike now, it was more or less EXPECTED that men would cheat, in affairs and with prostitutes, while married women would never. Legally, a man could divorce his wife just by proving that his wife spent time with another man! A woman could not. She had to cleverly push her husband to cheat, several times, to obtain a divorce. Such a woman is described in The Forsyte Saga: Mrs Macander, a divorcee who had “forced her husband into pronounced error” (cheating)” so that she might get a divorce yet still remain respectable! This is why Irene doesn't "just divorce" Soames. She has no grounds under their laws.
Furthermore, women were literally, legally “owned” by their husbands, as Irene was by Soames, even after 12 years—he legally had the right to demand her return. In short, men (like Soames) had the upper hand almost entirely.
In sex, too, a woman was required to meet the sexual needs of her husband, at his command, and to do whatever he said, as long as he did not beat her excessively, drink too much or engage in forbidden acts (what would we would consider “S&M” now). But what woman would go into court and describe such things? Though Irene was, as you say, more modern, she and Jolyon are repelled by the thought of going to court when Soames brings the divorce suit against Irene. To them, it’s their private business, especially since it involves deep love. This is why Soames' rape of her is so traumatic (aside from the obvious); there is nothing she can do to make him pay or stop it, other than run away--the law says it's his right to force her!
You make the excellent point that Soames cheated in terms of the promise he made to Irene. Though he pretends not to remember it, he does later on and thinks, that “he would have said anything” to obtain her consent. So basically, he didn’t mean it; he married her on false pretenses. He’s selfish, narrow-minded and unwilling to consider the needs or feelings of others. Irene only SEEMS selfish (to some) because the law and Soames won’t give her freedom to choose.
Your other good point – the main one, I think (echoed by Young Jolyon in his letter to Jon)—is that young women had little or no idea about sex and even if they knew, they had no experience of what it was like, whereas men had been out, “sowing their wild oats”, which didn’t necessarily make guys like Soames better lovers!
But, regardless of the study, or whether the participants were American or British (I think American women were probably MORE clueless and uptight about sex, if anything, due to their Puritan background)…it doesn’t erase the face that sometimes, you don’t know if someone is appealing to you until you have sex with them. That’s what happened to Irene, and she did try to please Soames for FOUR years…not for her own sake, but his!
All anyone has to do is think of a person who has come on to them sexually and for whom they’ve had no desire, to imagine Irene’s response to Soames. She didn’t like him even before they married, but was conditioned by society and forced by lack of money and by her stepmother to accept him. All those who condemn Irene for not just “going along” with Soames lust for her, when it sickened her, are just like the people in the novel who blamed her in the same way! (Jolyon later writes that they are not what he considers ladies or gentlemen) And they’re not being honest about times in their own lives when they were pursued by someone who was unappealing to them. But at least they got to say “NO” and walk away!
She deserves her revenge, and we deserve to die.
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Furienna (3322)
7 years ago
Go, Shannon!
Maybe you will never find your way to MovieChat and read this. But you were one of the wisest posters about "The Forsyte Saga" on IMDB!
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