This Is The Second Most Bizarre Movie I Have Seen SPOILERS

The most bizarre film I’ve seen is The Forbidden Zone (you can look it up here). Geez, where to start? This is about Morgana le Fey’s vendetta on the descendants of King Arthur and his knights for having banished her and her bastard son (with Arthur) to a kind of medieval Phantom Zone for 15 centuries. Morgana and Bastard break out of their captivity in 2017 and track down their quarry in Thailand, where all Arthurian descendants have gathered for reasons almost certainly having to do with economic incentives to shoot in Thailand and not in, you know, England. Merlin infused all Morgana’s magic into the sword, Excalibur. Morgana wants her mojo back. Long story short, the movie tells us that Excalibur, made of steel, was melted down to create a gold cup that was the Holy Grail. How it caught the blood of Lord Jesus 700 years after His death on the Cross is left unexamined. After this and that, and acting inferior to most sock puppets, Morgana gets Excalibur stuck in her (and the Thai actress is hot, making the symbolism obvious to every dullard) and she transforms into a 300-foot talkng, fire-breathing robot caricature of her sexy self. (The “dragon” foretold by a prophecy deciphered by one of the Aurtherian descendents who says he is proud of living a medieval lifestyle, although his house has plumbing, electricity and a phone system.) Mordred, the bastard, exclaims, “The robot is feeding off the magic!” When was the last time that you heard of a symbiotic relationship between technology and the occult, with the exception of heavy metal bands? Me neither. I am not saying do not watch this. I enjoyed it. The brazenness of its bullshit is almost in its own category. Almost.