1. Louis is from Oakland and he knows two ghetto ass hoes when he sees em'.
2. During Father's Day weekend, everyone in your neighborhood won't be home and no one can hear or help you.
3. Cheating Evan-tually gets you killed.
4. Cake is an appropriate Father's Day confectionery.
5. Monster is sad....and Monster has been waiting 3 weeks...
6. Art is in the eye of the beholder.
7. Architects get down.
8. Keanu only makes comedies.
9. French bulldogs just don't give a crap.
10. Extra large family portraits are creepy as hell.
Hollywood tries too hard to make females feel they're as strong as men. Try again. In reality, a man would have broke free and broke their skanky, hypocritical necks.
13. A man could also be overpowered and raped by 2 women.
14. At certain places, houses nearby can be completely empty so in case two chicks invade Keanu Reeves' home, there will be no one around for help.
15. Even though these 2 chicks are at times shown to be physically strong as well, they can use psychological power effectively enough to prevent a grown man from either calling the police on them, especially after a one night stand or fighting back when they start to pose a serious danger.
16. Men can be seduced and in their OWN ways destroyed by beauties.
The greatest trick the Devil has ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist!
17. Louis lies about parties.
18. Evan doesn't want to cut his hair.
19. Karen's Catalogs MUST be magenta.
20. Evan doesn't know the Gregories.
21. Evan loves the sound of vinyl.
22. Don't trust movers, they make a mess at the gallery.
23. Evan is ripped, but not like when he was in his 20's.
24. Underwear models are the kind of guys girls have sex with at 14.
25. Bell's favorite color is red.
26. Evan's kids speak Spanish perfectly.
27. Evan is not used to girls being open about sex.
28. Bell can do a perfect dog bark.
29. Evan doesn't have any *beep* nieces.
30. Ronnie is a magician. He can make anything disappear.
31. Crazy girls can dig big holes.
32. Crazy girls are bad at packing dirt around a standing person.
33. Dad had a party. Not really, but he got blamed for one, so he might as well have.
34. Hide your handgun in a giant Easter Egg
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