Thanks for your response, Dreamers!
Lying can be selfish, about self-preservation, image or reputation, or abdicating responsibility, absolutely. But telling the truth unnecessarily can also be selfish -- as in attempting to get rid of guilt in order to feel better, by dumping on someone else.
For example, a spouse who's cheated is often advised to not tell their spouse about it, because the non-cheating spouse will feel worse, and the cheating spouse will feel better for having confessed, and therefore telling that truth is an act of selfishness.
But, I just remembered something. Didn't Nolan feel like he had caused Danny's death, indirectly, by burning down the restaurant and forcing Danny to go back home? Can't recall if it was also related to the thugs Danny had borrowed from, and Nolan thought the thug may have murdered him because he couldn't repay the loan? It's been a while since I saw S2, so may not have all of this straight.
If that was the case, and John knew about it, then it *would* do Nolan good to know the truth, because he'd know he had nothing to do with his father's death.
What was confusing to me was that you'd think Young Danny's advice would be sounder than Adult Danny's. John and Danny had a good relationship when they were kids (and not so much as adults, to put it mildly), so although both were in John's imagination, it seemed advice from Young Danny would have been better of the two. Young Danny was also around Nolan's age.
On the other hand, as you pointed out, the whole theme of the show was the family's dysfunction based on lies and lying, so that points to Adult Danny's advice being the best.
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DreamersxDisease (817)
7 years ago
I think we think about selfishness in relation to lying differently. I think it's always the best option (notice I didn't use the word, "good") to tell someone you've cheated on them...not to alleviate your own stress, but so they can know to then asses what they would like to do. It's not cool to keep something that big to yourself, especially when it affects others. They deserve to know the whole truth because it's their relationship too and they have the right to know if someone has gotten disinterested, out of love, or unfaithful in whatever regard to them.
John's confessing has implications far reaching outside of himself and directly concerning Nolan since it was his father and all. Lies permeate to everyone once they're operating at this high of a level.
I think they all tried to have good relationships with one another, but I don't believe they really did once Sarah was gone. The events of that kinda just ruined their familial bond and everything since then has just been for show or out of desperation. This doesn't mean they didn't care about one another, but I think they ultimately cared more about their family name and to appear together when they weren't really.
All in all I am of the belief that honesty is the best policy. Not that lying doesn't help some times, but again, these weren't just little white lies they were lies that had grown into monsters and were actively hurting and destroying people's lives. Often times, the lie/cover up is worse than the crime in the end. Murdering Danny was one awful thing, but to keeping towering lie on top of lie on top of lie to bury that only makes it worse....it had gotten so bad already, and John was at his wits end enough, that I'd imagine stopping that was the only course of action at that point in time. John could kill Danny, but he couldn't kill the truth, and he finally came to that realization I think.
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Catbookss (13664)
7 years ago
Oh, I don't disagree with you at all, and also think honesty is the best policy. Just mentioning what many others have said about how lying can be selfish. IMO, regardless of how upsetting and unpleasant it would be to learn my spouse had cheated, I'd rather know and then be able to decide for myself what I want to do. However, if I felt their reason for telling me was so they could feel better, rather than being genuinely remorseful, that would be the end of that -- a no brainer decision.
Right, what happened with Sarah, followed by what happened to Danny, and then the kids being forced to lie about it, was the end of their true familial bond. The whole family was damaged too severely after that.
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